One year later, I'm still here (sort of). (829 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gascs (View user info) at 2004-09-20 16:38:42 EDT
One year and one day ago, I was lost on the information superhighway, trying to thumb a ride to get down to my cousin's house in Kentucky so we could play some Bubble Bobble on his old NES after we blow into the cartridge for 22 goddamned minutes. I was about to camp out underneath an old billboard for Adult Disposable Diapers when this guy driving a 1977 Ford Pinto pulled up. He asked me where I was going, and I told him. He asked me what my name was, and I told him. He said his name was bart and he asked me if I wanted to see something really cool. I said yes, of course, and after he zipped his pants back up he started blabbering about some website he made. Since we were on the information superhighway and not one of those newfangled concrete highways that all those goddamned kids are playing cricket on or whatever the hell it is those goddamned kids play these days, I hopped in and he took me to this website.
At first, I was mesmerized. In the small community of 2658 or so users, there was a multitude of totally enriching and very productive complete wastes of time. I spent hours reading posts from *insert prominent older user here* and *name drop some other user here*. I was an addict. However, since my attention span isn't quite long enough to listen to four syllables or read sentences with more than 6 words, after a while I lost interest and eventually faded off into the once-a-month territory as many before me had.
I wish that I had some profound thing to say about my experience here. To be honest, I don't think I've learned anything in the last year (and one day).
I still can't believe that KoolMang is on the Most Viewed Authors List. Maybe I can... someone with enough time to waste coming up with literary masterpieces such as "Jerusalem - a city to defecate in?" ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/44836 ) was bound to get there sooner or later.
I still hate 90% of the movies I see. Except "House of 1000 Corpses" ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/15358 ) and "Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies".
I still have a shitty 2000 Kia Spectra with the regular shitstorm problems ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/20166 ). Fortunately, though, it's not underwater like a lot of the rest of Pittsburgh.
I'm still camping in the bushes outside Lisa's house ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/9227 ). Shh... don't tell her.
I still hate Paris Hilton with the fire of a thousand suns ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/17154 ). In fact, with all of that gravity, a few hundred more are bound to eventually be pulled in as well.
I still hope more people will vote ( http://www.youneedtovote.com/ ), in spite of the fact that, of all the Americans either party could have chosen, they went with 2 of the least electable candidates in history. What, was Gary Coleman too busy?
I still dabble in a geeky technical project every once in a while ( http://www.gascs.com/UberPortal.jsp ). What can I say, I'm a nerd.
I still consider updating the UberDirectory every once in a while ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/22847 ). Yeah, I might get around to that someday.
I still plan to do an UberPost2005 ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/25258 ). I always considered this UberMadness's little brother. Several good posts came out of it, including one about cleaning blood off of your floor with semen.
I still plan to quietly squeak by into some unforeseen advanced round in UberMadness ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/33505 ). Heck, who the hell am I kidding. I'll be out in the first round. No juice.
Well, user, thanks for any contribution you've had to my entertainment in the last year, and thanks for listening to the sound of my retrospective, not unlike the sound of an army of midgets swimming through a sea of Faygo Redpop and storming the walls of Drew Barrymore's island fortress in order to steal her supply of plastic bottle caps and processed cheese snacks.
User Reviews
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-10-05 17:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whats going on with pH Tim?
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-09-20 18:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-09-20 17:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-09-20 16:42:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Uber Birthday!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-20 16:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2004-09-20 16:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Flu... I mean, Q, I decided that it wasn't right for me to promote that here without paying for it.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-20 16:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t
Too bad you left your greatest accomplishment of all unnamed.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-20 16:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They still make Faygo?
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-09-20 16:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Uber Birthday!