girls against the true rulers: MEN (958 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.37 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fudge Me (View user info) at 2004-09-20 20:58:59 EDT
Things guys should know about girls:
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big Dick we know you don't.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes not girls that want relationships.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.
11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't -apologize.
14. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
16. We are drama queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21. We don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.
22. Don't make bets about us; we always find out.
23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.
25. Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's because hers aren't real - just remember that. (You have a better shot at ours than you ever will with hers)
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
27. We are beautiful at all times.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.
! ; 29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, and knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don't forget it.
This came out of an email some stupid ho sent me. So I thought that I'd return the favour, and return the maids back to their place.
1. Girls are materialistic sluts - big wallet/nice car gets you pussy.
2. If you don't want us to say we understand when we don't, why even bother telling us anything? Because girls carry on with the biggest load of bullshit in their daily lives men find it intollerable.
3.They're right that we don't have PMS - eat shit! If we did have it, I'm pretty sure that after a few years that you'd adjust to it and stop taking it out on people around you.
4. Only some girls are pretty, and a guys girl is only the prettiest one when he wants pussy.
5. It seems to me that saying and doing things may get us off the hook, but it also seems obvious that men will always be the ones that make the mistakes.. of course we couldn't get anything right! what does a girl do when she screws up? nothing! she doesn't buy you anything, she doesn't take you out... she just says sorry and maybe gives you some ass
6. If we talk about having a big shlong it usually means we don't, but if you fridgit ho's would actually investigate you'd prove it.
7. We already know that our ex-girlfriends were ho's - if they were'nt we'd still be with them.
8. dinner and a movie won't always cut it?? - when was the last time a bitch took a guy out to the movies? huh? cut him some slack for a change and pay for him? bitches are so damn needy
9. Fashion police live in your head and on tv. they trick you into thinking that you can't go outside unless all your clothes are perfect, that they match and that you must wear makeup at all times. Some ho's just shovel that crap on, but if you actually took the time to wash yourselves better maybe you wouldn't need to cover up all those pimples.
10. They don't care about much that we have to talk about it seems... so to be a good girlfriend you've got to turn into this shallow mindless idiot that can't express what he really feels. Girlfriends are a great idea... NOT!
There's more of them up there but I'd just like to say that I head a girl once say God is female. If this is true, why did She make the girls inferior in all aspects in life? why did she make girls go through agony every month just so that one day you can go through the most intense pain in the world (from what i hear)? the truth is... women are just plain inferior and should just all drink a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up!
User Reviews
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2004-09-23 04:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugh.....girls who agree with that email arent worth the time....
Submitted by Erica at 2004-09-21 22:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on, Girl!
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-09-21 09:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YAWN.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-09-21 09:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go have a period or something.
Submitted by crammed (user info) at 2004-09-21 08:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
4. Girls are petty, but yours is the Pettiest!
There. It's all cleared up now.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-21 05:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The first list made me hate those whiny bitches that think this shit up, and the second made me hate you.
I am so impressionable.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-09-21 04:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets watch as I disprove this theory with real life experiences!
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
-Yeah okay so thats why I can cheat on a girl for a half a year without anything happening?
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
Bullshit my ex gets off on talking dirty to me.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't.
I don't understand, I never understand. Why? Women lack 'logic'
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
Damn right.
5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
Yeah but we have blueballs and an inability to be lacking in any sexual activitiy. We're whores if you dont put out.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
Lies.
7. If you talk about having a big Dick we know you don't.
Once again, Lies.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes not girls that want relationships.
I guess, having a big dick always helps.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.
What the fuck?
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.
Once again, it can bag chicks.
11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
Yep.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
No shit? More poon for me.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't -apologize.
Fuck that, I don't do anything wrong so I shouldn't apologize for anything.
14. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
I guess, if you don't like what we're doing, you can fucking pay for something else.
15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
Bullshit, I should be self concious by nature. I'm decent looking. I dont sit in front of a mirror all day.
16. We are drama queens.
I don't care, it doesnt mean you can act out of line for no reason.
17. Fashion police do exist.
Is it assault on an officer if they're a 'fasion' police officer?
18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
Uh, okay.
21. We don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.
Nope and we don't bathe every day, get over THAT bitch.
22. Don't make bets about us; we always find out.
Thats what you think, maybe you only find about about SOME of them?
23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it.
Shave; no matter how much you like your hairy cunt, I don't enjoy gagging on hair. Same applies to every other place on your body EXCEPT YOUR HEAD.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.
25. Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's because hers aren't real - just remember that. (You have a better shot at ours than you ever will with hers)
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
I agree!
27. We are beautiful at all times.
Harhar yeah right.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.
No way I'm going to call you a cow.
29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, and knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it.
I can. Just not when I'm drunk.
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don't forget it.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. You're a woman. Enough said.
This came out of an email some stupid ho sent me. So I thought that I'd return the favour, and return the maids back to their place.
1. Girls are materialistic sluts - big wallet/nice car gets you pussy.
2. If you don't want us to say we understand when we don't, why even bother telling us anything? Because girls carry on with the biggest load of bullshit in their daily lives men find it intollerable.
3.They're right that we don't have PMS - eat shit! If we did have it, I'm pretty sure that after a few years that you'd adjust to it and stop taking it out on people around you.
4. Only some girls are pretty, and a guys girl is only the prettiest one when he wants pussy.
5. It seems to me that saying and doing things may get us off the hook, but it also seems obvious that men will always be the ones that make the mistakes.. of course we couldn't get anything right! what does a girl do when she screws up? nothing! she doesn't buy you anything, she doesn't take you out... she just says sorry and maybe gives you some ass
6. If we talk about having a big shlong it usually means we don't, but if you fridgit ho's would actually investigate you'd prove it.
7. We already know that our ex-girlfriends were ho's - if they were'nt we'd still be with them.
8. dinner and a movie won't always cut it?? - when was the last time a bitch took a guy out to the movies? huh? cut him some slack for a change and pay for him? bitches are so damn needy
9. Fashion police live in your head and on tv. they trick you into thinking that you can't go outside unless all your clothes are perfect, that they match and that you must wear makeup at all times. Some ho's just shovel that crap on, but if you actually took the time to wash yourselves better maybe you wouldn't need to cover up all those pimples.
10. They don't care about much that we have to talk about it seems... so to be a good girlfriend you've got to turn into this shallow mindless idiot that can't express what he really feels. Girlfriends are a great idea... NOT!
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-09-21 04:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Great one, Maddox.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-21 04:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, forgot to rate.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-21 04:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Things guys should know about girls:
They bleed.
The End.
Submitted by victorisperfect (user info) at 2004-09-21 04:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Indeed, your writing does suck, perhaps if you had changed your format from
(scrolls down a page)
retort
retort
retort
to
e-mail/ reply
e-mail/ reply
then I would have found some humor in it, anyways here's something funny...
Fry: Uhh, just so we know: who's the enemy?"
Brannigan: "A valid question. We know nothing about their language, their history or what they look like. But we can assume this: they stand for everything we don't stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks!"
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2004-09-21 00:32:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fudge_me: dropping you to negative for being a whiny little bitch. People can't determine your gender (or stance) because your writing sucks ass. If you would have started the post with "Here's a sucky list I got online", and followed the list with "So I wasted my time drawing up my own list just to piss that damn hoe off," It would have at least made sense.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-09-21 00:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't deserve to be negative.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-09-21 00:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
only a +2 caues the others below couldn't finish reading it to realize they're complaining about nothing.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-09-21 00:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn it, perhaps you should have put a prelude on here that said, "This is a horrible list I found." It's hard to read something like this all the way to the end, sorry. Anyway, since this post was a solid zero, here's your +2.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-09-21 00:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What a huge bitch you are. My girlfriend is insanely smart, beautiful, and best of all, she's not a huge bitch. She understands that there are two people in a relationship, not just herself. For this I love her to death.
As a complete bitch, you will never find a good guy and will continue believing the bullshit you put in this post. I almost feel sorry for you.
Almost.
Submitted by fudge_me (user info) at 2004-09-20 23:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it appears a lot of people didn't read the whole thing. It looks like people have also tried to attack me, thinking that i am the chick who wrote the first list on the page... this isn't true. if you had read it instead of being dyslexic and dumb you would have noticed that. I put it on here cos the dirty rotten wench goes on this site now and then, so i was hoping she'd see it..
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2004-09-20 23:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm... actually can be read as a male or female depending on where you attribute the middle sentence to. Oh well, both list was pretty inane.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2004-09-20 23:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll take my stand on this post just as soon as the author takes hers.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"the truth is... women are just plain inferior and should just all drink a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up!"
Amen.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait.. sorry... i didnt read the whole thing. this was kind of anti-that list. or was it? =S im conflicted.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bitching about it in emails isn't going to change a goddamn thing. Why bother?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
go kill yourself bitch.
Things you should know about guys:
1.We hate bitchy domineering whores like you, and thats why they never call after that first night.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why did she make girls go through agony every month just so that one day you can go through the most intense pain in the world (from what i hear)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
supposedly the worst pain to actually go through is suffered by a guy that is SUPPOSEDLY i'm not saying its the absolute truth. That pain of course is passing a stone, the worst part is when the stone gets stuck because it often requires surgery.
Submitted by L0s34 (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GOD DAMN IT!!! Fine, not the guy directly below my first post, but the guy underneath him.
JESUS!
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, idiot who's post is below me...
The person posting is a guy criticizing a girl's e-mail. Read the whole thing, idiot (OR AT LEAST GIVE IT A HALF-DECENT LOOK-OVER BEFORE REPLYING).
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-09-20 22:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Both of these lists are utter dog shit. Men always bitch about women, women always bitch about men. Who the fuck cares?! Hell, if I showed these lists to my girlfriend, she's probably laugh her ass off. Then again, she plays paintball and loves old muscle cars...
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2004-09-20 21:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shuddup whore.
I HAVE THE PENIS SO I MAKE THE RULES!