Are You An Alcoholic? (1670 hits)
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Submitted by Trout (View user info) at 2004-09-21 23:34:52 EDT
From the good folks at AA.
Are You An Alcoholic?
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time of day?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?
If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be an alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.
__________________________________________________________________________
All you have to do is go to a wedding where you only know a few people, have a drink because you feel a bit shy.
Wake up the next day, in the changing room that the bride had left her dress in before going on honeymoon.
Realise that you've shat yourself in the middle of the night and used the wedding dress to wipe up the mess.
You feel remorse but can't actually remember doing it.
Take the alcoholic test and answer questions 3, 5 & 17 in the affirmitive.
It's been 4,000 days since my last drink.
It was my first -- and last -- blackberry schnapps
User Reviews
Submitted by Rocket_stapler (user info) at 2004-09-26 11:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who here likes bananas?" asked the small young man. "I do" said everyone. "Good" said the first one, "why do you like them" the young man questioned. "Because we're descended from Monkeys" Everyone said in unison.
"do you like bananas?" everyone asked the young man. "Yes, that's why I brought them up in the first place" he replied "and furthermore", he continued, "I'm a big fan of everyone".
Everyone pretended to care.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-09-22 13:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like booze
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-22 13:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Should I be worried that I can't see the screen cause I'm so wasted?
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-22 11:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
21. Do you drink out of the toilet?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-22 10:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hidden101 is the ultimate boozehound.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-09-22 10:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-22 08:44:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
So, here's another question: Have you ever tried to STOP drinking? If so, why, and how long did you last?
I gave it up for Lent the past four years - without a problem
----------------------------------------
I had 2 weeks of sobriety then was climbing the walls.
I HAVE to have a drink once a week. Life is unbearable without a few beers at the weekend.
Weekend alcoholism????
Submitted by nakedguitarist (user info) at 2004-09-22 10:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i can't believe i got 19 of them. i'm quitting right now.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-22 10:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45784
Well?
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-09-22 10:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"The problem with people who don't drink, is they feel the way they do when they wake up - all day." - Frank Sinatra
Submitted by flat_spin (user info) at 2004-09-22 10:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Sort of a good subject.... it is plain and simple... you are an loser.
I, myself, cannot be an alcoholic.... I don't attend meetings!!!!!!!!!!! That plain and simple.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2004-09-22 10:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm 18 and I said yes to 7 of them. I'm fucked when I turn 21.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-22 09:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What if alcohol is the only thing that deadens the violent rage? If I don't sedate myself, I will kill everything in my sight.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-22 09:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, but it's none of your fucking business.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-09-22 08:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't understand why this negative connotation is associated with alcoholism and drunken rage.
Nobody's giving a hard time to the billions of people addicted to brain-rotting television...
Well, aside from me, of course.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-22 08:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, here's another question: Have you ever tried to STOP drinking? If so, why, and how long did you last?
I gave it up for Lent the past four years - without a problem.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-22 08:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To answer the question in the title: Yes, I am a first class boozeclown.
Now on to the questiones...
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking? No, In fact on Friday afternoons half of my office is reeling from a 3 martini lunch.
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? No. It makes it tolerable.
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people? Depends on the situation. With people that I'm unfamiliar with, yes. Amongst friends, no.
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation? Drinking IS my reputation. I bartend on weekends.
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking? Remorse because I drank, no. Remorse for being an asshole while drinking, once in a great great while.
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking? No. I budget myself according to what my plans are. If I'm going to the corner bar, I only take $20 along, to keep me in check. If by financial diffuculties, you mean gambling, no. I know better. I always lose my shirt when I gamble drunk.
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking? Yes, because everyone is lower than me.
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare? No. Fuck 'em.
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? No. I'm actually most ambitious when drinking. I always end up making promises that I then have to fulfill the next day.
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time of day? At night, once all my work is done.
11. Do you want a drink the next morning? No. Unless the hangover is that bad that the only way to get rid of it is to drink more.
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? No. Many times I drink to find sleep.
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? No. I'm a very functional alcoholic. I actually feel more efficient in that period between 3-7 beers. After that though, its all downhill.
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business? No, my boss is an even bigger alchy. Drinking with him actually lets us be more personal with each other.
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble? Yes. I wear many stressful hats.
16. Do you drink alone? No. Almost never.
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking? Yes, in my younger days. I don't drink liquor because of this.
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking? No. But he could use my blood to sterilize his instruments if he ever runs out of alcohol.
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence? No. I have self-confidence coming out of my ears. Wait. No. That's earwax.
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking? No. Never.
AA is for the weak.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-09-22 08:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been fighting the idea that I'm a drunk for several years now because of stuff like this. Part of me wonders what kind of teatotaler came up with the questionaire, but then another part of me wonders if that is only a defense mechanism of an alcoholic mind.
Seems like most everyone whose responded feels that the number of "yeses" required to constitute a problem are a little on the low side, and that is reassuring I guess. But still, in the immortal words of KRS-One from the legendary B.D.P. album "Edutainment" -
"So if you think that what I say is a bunch of crock
Tell yourself you're gonna try and stop
Eatin meat and you'll see you can't compete
It's the number one drug on the street
Not crack, cause that was made for just black
But brown beef, for all American teeth"
Sure, KRS was talking about how we're addicted to eating meat, but the "trying to stop" thing is where it gets difficult.
So, here's another question: Have you ever tried to STOP drinking? If so, why, and how long did you last?
I gotta say though, reading responses like Caul's make me feel like I never had anything to worry about.
Hang in there Raimee, one day at a time babe.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-09-22 07:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don;t drink during the week, but i'm a fucking piss head on the weekend
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-22 06:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I answered "Yes" to at least 75% of these. I'll admit I'm socially alcoholic. I don't drink alone.
Since I added a lot of you to AOL messenger, I've discovered that hardly any Americans drink. They all drink far too much Coca Cola a day, though.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-22 06:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking? - Occasionally in the past
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? - No it makes it bearable
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people? Sometimes
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation? Yes, positively though.
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking? No
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking? Yes
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking? Define lower you pompous twat.
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare? Yup
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? Never had any.
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time of day? Yup.
11. Do you want a drink the next morning? Nope, except weekends.
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? Oh no. Quite the opposite.
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? Efficiency? At work? Yep.
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business? No.
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble? No, 'cos I like it.
16. Do you drink alone? Occasionally but that isn't bad over here.
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking? No.
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking? No.
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence? Not really.
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking? Oh yes.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2004-09-22 01:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me breaking into the double digits on "yes"s.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-09-22 00:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes to:
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking? (most things I do are followed with remorse)
16. Do you drink alone? (but not to excess or drunkenness)
So this makes me a booze hound.
go figure
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2004-09-22 00:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm drunhnk right now.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2004-09-22 00:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A) How old are you?
B) Who WOULDN'T answer "yes" to three (or more) of these questions?
We're all screwed.
Submitted by Raimee <pirynne_18.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-09-21 23:57:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am in AA and I know im a definate alcoholic...so for the record here are the answers from an alcoholic named Joanna....all answers are past tense
1.) yes I did from 1999-2000, called out ALL the time!
2.)not really
3.) Yes very
4.) yes
5.) yes
6.) no
7.) sometimes
8.) at times
9.)not really
10.) yes! After work! All the time!!!!
11.)no
12.)no
13.)no
14.)yes
15.)yes
16.)yes
17.)yes
18.)yes
19.)yes
20.)yes about 3 times!
if you answer yes to 17 and 20, you should start considering going into rehab!
But for the Grace of God.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-09-21 23:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems! -- Homer Simpson Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-21 23:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
Yes
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time of day?
Yes
16. Do you drink alone?
Yes
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
Yes
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?
Yes
I used to be raging alchoolic. I've calmed down. Well, the liter of blood
spurting from my mouth and the ulcers calmed me down.
I still drink right after I throw up though. That's not good.
Submitted by forumsarestupid (user info) at 2004-09-21 23:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you made a good point
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-09-21 23:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
This makes 90 percent of the population alcoholics.
Congrats.