Dinner With Chopper And Earl (824 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.57 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TaK (View user info) at 2004-09-22 12:41:41 EDT
F: "Well you didn't have to beat him to DEATH!"
M: "Honey I told ya, I got carried away, I dunno what happened. Was it really that bad?"
F: "That BAD? That bad, he asks! Jesus Christ Marty you were like a wild animal!"
M: "Yea? Well he had it comin'. This's been buildin' in me for ages. I told you one day it'd all rush out, and I also told you it would be 'cuzza you!"
F: "Oh shuah, shuah. Blame it on old Fran! She's always tha root ah somethin', eh? Right Marty? It's always Frannie at the bottom of the barrel!"
M: "Ah jesus Fran please not right now."
F: "Jesus ain't here Martin! Jesus ain't here, he ain't nowhere near you right now! Jesus I think maybe took a permanent vacation from the Leets' family tonight! That man simply asked me for a light and you pounced on him you big dummy! And when I went to stop ya y'came close to sockin' me one!"
M: "Baby you know I'd nevah hit ya."
F: "I know baby I'm just sayin' it was a close one."
....
F: "Look, whatta we gonna do now? That's the problem. What now?"
M: "Now? Now we take Mr. Loverboy here and git rid of 'im. Bring the van around and I'll toss him in back. We'll take him home wid'us and I'll introduce him to Chopper and Earl."
F: "Yea ok. They ain't been fed in a coupla days anyways."
M: "You know I'd never let anyone hurt you, Francis, right?"
F: "Yea Marty I know. An' I love ya for it. But you didn't have ta kill him."
M: "It's been comin' up my throat. Sometimes I feel like all of this is just some sorta screen over what's real and I can't beat my way out. Then I want to beat my way out. And some prick like this comes along and razzes me when I got this sick feeling boilin' up my stomach and through my mouth and I just can't stop myself. Maybe I got a demon or somethin', I don't know, but that can't be true right? I'm a good guy right?"
F: "Marty, baby. You'se the best guy!
M: "And you're my best lady, lady."
....
M: "Come on, go get the van, take ya hand back."
F: "Oh come on baby, I just wanna play..."
M: "Fran, now's not the th...mm...now's not the time baby! Please!"
F: "Fine, fine! I'll just go get the van like a good girl."
....
F: "You know you used ta like it when I was bad."
M: "You can be bad later. I might even help ya."
F: "Good, I'm gettin' tired'a doin' it myself!"
(footsteps fading away)
....
M: "Jesus Mikey what'd ya make me do to ya? I told you to stay away from us. I told you to stay away from her. You're too out there Mikey...were too out there. If it wasn't the pipe it was the string tie and needle, but that won't your real problem. You had somethin' in you. And I think you'se gave it ta me. Jesus Mikey, what'd ya do? Ah...shit."
....
(over van engine)F: "Good girl's back!"
M: "Gimme a minute lemme get this fucker inside."
.......
(later)
.......
(singing)M: "Well I don't know why I came here tonight...got the feelin' like somethin' ain't right..."
(bag rustling)
(from outside)F: "Marty? Marty! Why ya got the radio so loud?"
M: "So's to cover up my work toots! Go back in the house!"
F: "Alright already, you wanna beah?"
M: "Yea that'd be great sweetie."
...
(singing)M: "...Clowns to the left ah me, Jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you..."
(generator rumbles)
(axe grinds)
F: "Here ya go babe."
M: "Thanks legs."
(can pops, hisses)
M: "Now go on back inside babe. This ain't gonna be pretty. But bring me another beer in about 15 minutes."
...
F: "Okay Marty."
(door shuts)
(generator rumbles)
(woodchipper starts)
M: "Alright Mikey. It's time."
......
......
(chipper screams and groans, sounds of refuse falling to floor)
(chipper dies, generator winds down)
M: "Mikey! You look like you've lost some weight! Ha! Time for you to meet Chopper and Earl my friend! There gonna like yooouuu!"
M: "ChoPPER! Earl! Get in here boys!"
(door swings open, sounds of padded feet and heavy breathing)
M: "Good boys, good boys. Nothin' like a a mastiff. You boys look hungry! Here ya go...yea...you'll like it, have a smell...there ya go....ahhh, I knew you'd dig it!"
(hungry chomping, snorting)
M: "Damn that looks tasty. How is it Chop? Good?"
...
M: "No, I couldn't do that."
...
M: "Why would I want to?"
...
M: "He's that good huh?"
...
M: "Well..."
...
M: "Ah fuck it."
(slurping, chomping, growling, but not from a dog)
...
M: "Goddamn if you weren't right boys! That was amazing! I feel...strong and...thirsty."
(sounds of man standing up, searching for something)
M: "Goddamn bitch. Where's my fucking beer! I told that whore to bring me a beer! Goddammit Frannie I'm comin' for ya. Mikey's comin' wit me, he gave me a gift, and we're comin' for ya! Where's my FUCKING BEER!"
(door slams, heavy footsteps fade)
User Reviews
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-26 22:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2008-08-26 15:37:33 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
I've tried this type of thing before myself(http://www.ubersite.com/m/45797). It's a nice exercise, trying to convey story with only dialogue. I'm guessing that you didn't have a concrete idea of what crime this pair has just committed, and that the people they are waiting for are not the cops, but accomplices or acquaintances of some sort.
Am I anywhere near right? The cool thing is that this type of writing can lead to interpretations the author never admitted, so even if I'm wrong, I'd call this piece a success.
Amazing how boredom can lead to good writing.
--------
Not bad. But I think you sort of cheated a bit with the descriptions of other stuff going on. This is more than just dialogue.
I've made a few feeble attempts at pure dialogue pieces myself recently. Like you say, if nothing else it's good practice writing dialog.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117940
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118294
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-10-14 05:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm...
Spike, that sounds like a friggin' great offer, but I've never tried my hand at plays...
Lemme see what I can come up with. What kind of stuff would go over well?
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-10-13 23:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm....
Do you write plays?
If you do, do you want to have any workshopped/produced in New York with some fucking great actors from my studio?
Say the word.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-09-22 15:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So very very guido.
Submitted by browneyedgirl (user info) at 2004-09-22 14:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-09-22 14:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-22 13:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-09-22 12:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe. I guess that's what you get when a Southie trys his hand at Northtalk.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-22 12:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heeeey... is that suh-pose ta be a boston accent? cuz i shu-ah don't talk like that!