"Man on Fire" Review (742 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: -0.22 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KoolMang (View user info) at 2004-09-23 08:23:03 EDT
I just saw "Man on Fire" on dvd rental, and I gotta tell you people, it's a cool movie! I shall sum it up in one paragraph.
A cool bodyguard is hired to protect some jailbait girl (jk), and they grow fond of eachother, much to the parents' delight. You see, in Mexico City, a lotta people are kidnapped by assholes, and bodyguards prevent that. One day, 2 corrupt officers help shoot the bodyguard, Creasy, and some kidnappers kidnap the girl, Pita. Creasy survives later on, and vows to the mother of Pita that he'll kill anyone who had anything to do with it.
That's the part I like about the movie. You see, Spiderman is a pussy because he can't do what he wants. He's too afraid of maintaining a good public image. Creasy, on the other hand, the first guy he finds, he cuts off about 3 of his fingers before gathering the information he wants. Then, he goes to a nightclub with his clues, and ties 3 people up, and blows one of them away as punishment for not spilling the beans, and then, after blasting the other guy's feet in twice with a shotgun, he gets all the beans. Then he tells her to say goodbye to Pita, and shoots him dead.
Oh and there's the end, SPOILER TIME! He finds the wife of the mastermind, plus his brother. His brother initially shoots him in the chest twice, but karma makes him get in a bad car accident, and Creasy drags his half-life corpse to the wife. They call the mastermind on the roof, and when he starts fucking around with Creasy, he says "Your brother wants to talk to you." This is the most clever thing I've seen in a movie. He gives the brother the cellphone, and after doing so, raises the shotgun and blasts the fingers of one of his hands off, causing him to give a good ol' Spic scream.
It ends, of course, with half-mutilated stupid brother in exchange for alive-and-well Pita. Then Creasy, as part of the deal, gives himself up, but dies in the car.
Denzel Washington = not a nigger.
No gooks in the movie, so that gets 2 thumbs up as well.
User Reviews
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-24 00:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm getting tired of these "black man fighting against the odds" character Denzel Washington plays.
Except for Training Day, his whole career is just one movie.
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DW is a worthless, no talent, niggar hack.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-23 18:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-09-23 11:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder what your review of american history x would be.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-23 10:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, Denzel is a reformed black man, gook. He has earned his own keep, he's a good actor, there's a difference between a useless nigger and a successful black man. Although I can clearly see that I haven't seen one useless gook to date. All they ever do is go "Ching chong ping tang!" and get shot as a result of them saying something they regretted.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I thought you hated black people. You fucking Nazi faggot.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:14:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Mang On Fire
***********
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Thank you, sir, that brightened my day!
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im A gonna rent this piece of kick-ass as soon as I return them DVD's I rented some sizeabe figure of days ago
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm getting tired of these "black man fighting against the odds" character Denzel Washington plays.
Except for Training Day, his whole career is just one movie.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mang On Fire
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If someone put that gigantic plastic bubble in my asshole I would probably consider it torture.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-23 08:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but that wasn't really physical torture. Those parts I liked because, for once, they were for REAL good.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-23 08:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um. You forgot the part where he drives under a bridge so helicopters can't see him, then jams a bomb up some wetback's ass and explodes him.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-23 08:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree. This was a good movie.