He Just Doesn'T Understand (1440 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.15 on 129 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-09-23 14:20:32 EDT
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Entry 1
Jacob lay sleeping in his sister's spare bedroom; he was visiting her in Montana for a week. He had barely started waking, and his tired eyes were being abused by the constant screaming of his three and four year old nephews terrorizing the living room.He rolled over on the half deflated air mattress, and pulled his blankets over his head, shivering. The fan in the corner of the room was blowing the cold air from the open window straight on him; it's dull roar not enough to drown out the yelling from the other side of the walls.
"Ahhh man," he sighed as the screaming began echoing down the hallway, they were coming. The door flew open violently, rebounding loudly off the wall, scaring Jacob.
"Uncle Jacob! Wake Up!" yelled Mark, the four year old. His younger brother Daniel repeated his exact words in an incoherent and squealing manner.
"No. Go away," he quietly muttered, pulling the covers off his head so they could understand him.
"Daniel, do this," Mark yelled as he knelt down and put his mouth by Jacobs's ear. "TSsssssSSSsssssss!"
They couldn't have thought of anything more annoying than that to wake him up. "All right, that's it," he threatened as he pushed Mark's head away from his head. Jacob sat up straightly, turned onto his knees and playfully tackled both of the kids, tickling each one. Roars of high-pitched laughter met his ears unkindly.
Jacob jumped up and ran into the living room, diving onto the couch. The little people followed closely behind and jumped straight on to his back.
"You woke up Uncle Jacob," screeched Daniel.
"Yes I did."
"Okay little boys. In your chairs, it's time for breakfast," commanded Lacey.
Breakfast was uneventful as usual. Mark and Daniel would ramble off movie quotes made incoherent from the mouthfuls of food in their mouths. Three times they burst into random fits of laughter, spewing the contents of their breakfast burritos all over the table.
"Gahhhh," Lacey said, turning her head away from the messy table toward Jacob. "We're taking the kids to the H2O Park today. Is that okay with you?"
"Why wouldn't it be? You don't need my approval."
"I know. I was just making sure. We'll probably leave around noon so we can come back and put the kids down for naps."
Jacob nodded in silent agreement while looking down the hall watching Alan, his brother-in-law, walk sleepily to the table. Alan was the lazy father of the children. He was probably six inches shorter than Jacob, who was several inches past six feet, and weighed around three hundred pounds, nearly doubling Jacob's weight.
Jacob still thought it was funny. His sister, younger than him by two years was married with two children and he still hadn't dated anyone seriously. He thought it more ironic, however, that his kid sister, the sister his friends were always trying to get him to set them up with, married her exact opposite.
"And how's my beautiful wife?" he asked as he hugged Lacey and kissed her affectionately.
"I'm fine."
"Mommy."
"Do you want some breakfast daddy?"
"Uhhh...sure."
"Mommy. Can I get down," questioned Mark impatiently as he had already climbed halfway out of his chair.
Lacey looked depressingly at his plate and replied, "Eat five more bites then you can get down."
"Mommyyyyy!"
"You do not back talk your mother. You need to obey!" Alan's voice boomed, echoing off the kitchen walls. Jacob was sure the neighbors downstairs could have heard him.
"But daddy, I'm full," Mark answered as he started walking to the bathroom to wash his hands.
Alan stood up from his chair, blocked Mark's path, turned him around and spanked him hard. "You do as you are told!" he shouted once more, pushing Mark towards his high chair, sitting down in the process. The chair creaked in protest.
Mark started crying and walked slowly back to his seat. He climbed into his seat and picked up his burrito. "Eeeuhhh!" he said defiantly as he threw it across the table.
Alan's face flared a brilliant shade of red as he stood up and walked heavily towards Mark; the floor shook with each step. He grabbed Mark by one arm and hoisted him out of his seat, spanking him once more on the way down to the ground. He drew Mark's face close to his own and yelled very loudly, "Little boys need to do as they are told!"
*Spank
"Little boys do not throw their food."
*Spank *spank
"No go to your room!"
Jacob watched as his oldest nephew ran bowlegged to his bedroom, swerving into the walls on the way. He was trying to cry but kept sucking in air, unable to get out the first loud wail. The first cry came as he slammed the door shut.
"That's not right." Jacob said as he turned to look at Alan.
"Don't tell me how to raise my kids. There is nothing wrong with discipline."
"Do you have to be so loud and violent?" Lacey added. He comment went unheard.
"I know. I have no problem with discipline. But there is a fine line between discipline and abuse with a four year old, and you walked all over it."
"Whatever."
"Your son couldn't breathe from it. I'd hope you'd have wished you never did that to your son, especially at that age." Jacob stood up from the table and walked into the room to check on his nephew. "Stupid prick," he muttered loud enough so Alan could hear him and the kids couldn't.
"What did you say?"
"You heard me. I didn't stutter."
Alan glared coldly at him as he watched Jacob walk down the hallway. Jacob could feel the staring eyes focusing behind him, and looked back. He met Alan's gaze then looked at his sister who was staring blankly at her food.
When he walked in Mark had his face buried in his pillow, still crying freely. Jacob picked him up and held him loosely waiting for him to stop crying. Lacey joined him seconds later.
After five minutes Mark climbed off of Jacob's lap and ran to pick up a book. He handed it to his mother, breathing heavily and his voice wavering. "W-will you please read this t-to me?"
Lacey accepted the book and lifted Mark onto her lap. She held Mark with one hand while using the other to push herself back against the wall. After getting comfortable she opened the book and began to read "Curious George". She was quietly interrupted regularly by questions of what certain words meant, and Mark's constant snorting to keep his nose from running.
"Thank you Mommy," he said while turning around, and hugging her tightly. Mark climbed down and ran into the livingroom.
"Maaa-aarrrk," came the accepting, happy voice of Alan. Jacob stood up, and placed the book on the dresser as he walked out of the room ahead of Lacey shaking his head in disbelief.
"How can people change their moods so quickly," he muttered to Lacey who shrugged her shoulders. When he walked into the living room he saw Mark hugging Alan, who was reaching for a book.
"And I just don't understand how kids can be so forgiving."
- VS -
Entry 2
The new student was a strange one to say the least. Long greasy hair that covered his face, but a perfect complexion beneath. He was tall, taller than most people older than him but quite weedy, he walked with a slouch that brought him to the same level with everyone else but made him look peculiar.Greg's fashion sense was strange, wearing an old ski jacket, complete with bright yellow, pink and green zigzag pattern, those cop shades you see in the movies, and a pair of insanely big jogging pants to make the whole outfit so odd that it matched. The way he talked was stranger still, although he would only talk when asked by a teacher, his voice enthralled people as it was almost robotic-like. And seemed to echo around each classroom as if by surround sound from a stereo system.
Even just the way he skulked around from lesson to lesson, minding his own business and making no attempt to interact with fellow students around him made him different from the rest. Everyone stared and whispered to each other, but nobody dared say anything to him, in a way they were all a little scared, not sure what would happen if they tried to interact. One person didn't seem to care about this at all, Emily wanted to find out what this strange boy was all about.
The end of school bell went, and everyone filed out of class glad that another day had gone by. Greg was one of the last out, as he was slow and deliberate in his actions, making sure he had everything with him. Only two others were still in the classroom when he left, one kid who was struggling with a knot in the headphones for his CD walkman, and Emily. She stood at her seat until Greg had left the classroom, and proceeded to follow him.
"Don't play with fire Emily," the kid said as she was leaving the door.
Emily replied with a sweet yet sadistic voice "Fuck off Chris."
He hung his head in shame, annoyed at himself for not being able to stop Emily from following Greg, the strange one. Chris had heard many rumours about him, some said he was the one that caused the fire at Hooke Hall, others said he was responsible for the deaths of the 6 school girls last summer. None however knew the truth about him. And Chris didn't want Emily to be the one to find out the hard way.
Greg walked for a few miles in the direction of the river, and all the while Emily was following close behind, making sure she made no noise as to distract him. He walked to about 300 yards from the river and made a sharp turn to the right, Emily was more than surprised and only just made it behind a bush as he looked around the place where she stood.
As she was peering through the bushes, he lost interest and walked on. Through the thin alleyway and then to one of the biggest houses Emily had ever seen. It was 3 storeys high, and had dozens of huge, pane glass windows. Greg walked in through the front door, and Emily was left outside alone. She peered through the windows trying to get glimpses of Greg and would catch one every now and again.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Came a harsh growl from behind her.
Emily stifled a scream and froze. She was so stupid, she had been caught trespassing in what seemed to be a huge and rich estate. This was it, she turned round.
"Chris!?" Emily said in surprise, "What are you doing here? Did you follow me?!"
"Alright calm down keep quiet, what are you doing here? This place creeps me out." Answered Chris in a hushed voice.
"It doesn't matter Chris, just go away."
"No, I want to know what is going on, you have been acting really strange recently."
"You don't understand. Just get out of here it's not safe."
"Bullshit I'm not safe" jeered Chris, "I want to know what the fuck is going on"
It felt to Chris as though Emily was just looking right through him. A low growl from behind made him realise why. He slowly turned round and was petrified at the sight before him. A huge yet thin beast was looming in front of him, hot saliva dripping from its mouth and the look of a kill in it's eyes.
"Greg, please no," pleaded Emily, "He doesn't understand."
Chris stepped backwards and fell to the ground. The beast walked ever closer to him and made as if it was going to pounce. Dug its claws into the ground and waited. It wanted something and Chris had no idea what.
"Don't run Chris, it will only make things worse."
"How the fuck can it get any worse?!" Chris was seething and petrified at once. "I have this huge 'thing' that looks like its gonna eat me!"
Chris turned to run and Emily screamed. The beast leapt forward and dug into his back with its claws, bringing him to the ground. It reached forward and tore a chunk of flesh and guts from Chris' side as he screamed in terror. Emily jumped over and tried to pull the beast away, but it only knocked her back into the bushes.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!" Chris stifled one more blood curdling scream as he was torn into again by the huge beast.
********************************************
Emily awoke in the dark, and in a bush. She suddenly remembered what has happened and burst into tears. Nobody knew, and Chris least of all, and he paid the price for his ignorance. She looked around her at the carnage, there wasn't much left, just slithers of fabric that were once clothes.
He was gone forever now.
Entry 1:
Ainkara
AlahAckbar
Anjie
AshK
Azriel
babydoll
bob
BoxcarChild
Circe
coley
comicbookguy
congo
d_prime
DanJaines
Dirtbird
Disektor
Durae
EatMeCompletely
engine13
evolydal
FunnyAsCancer
gamma
Genko
girlreporter
Gnome
GodChicken
Grover
hamilton
humor_me
hyprspacd
Ignore_the_Small_Print
Impassive-Digressive
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
Julia
knucklesnelson
LadyPlural
littledan
Loren1
lrw
Luckystar
mountain24
munkeypants
NerfHerder
omnifica
QueenAshlee
ralphmacchio
razmataz73
redraven
runninginplace
satchel
Seralena
shadow
SilvrWolf
sketch9
Slovin
Smurfs
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
spedmonkey
Spiral_Abraxis
Spooner
Stabkill
steph
stevie_says
Stin
Therighteouswicked
tinactin
tlozoot
Trout
ugaly
ValakasDemon
wazzawazzayo
William_Q_Percy
WRECKER
Yes
yetti_girl
youarsoghey
YouLookLikeINeedADrink
Zoidberg
60 eligible votes (80 total) *
Entry 2:
AshyLarry
AwesomeJohnson
Badlands
Banga3386
BillsSBChamps
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Brdn_Nkd
Burn
Caulaincourt
cexshun
cshape
darko
dodahdave
EchoBoxing
Falconer
gibberish
I.G
jack11058
KoolMang
MeatJerky
MM_LP_Track3
Monarch
Natalia_Everitt
Natsukau
nitty34
OneCheapGeek
Phinch
potatomanjack
professorfuckface
salmonofdoubt
shark25
strider
TigerLilly
treblereel
WiKi
zombieZero
27 eligible votes (36 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-09-29 19:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by redraven (user info) at 2004-09-29 11:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-09-29 09:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-09-28 16:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Never again will a rabid wildebeast ravage my aunt Talitha's hoo-hoo.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-28 14:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Zoé-Marie <zmtc.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-09-28 09:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-09-28 09:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like 90% of these crappy things I didn't read either one and flipped a coin for my vote #2 gets it this time.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-09-28 09:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-09-27 22:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
entry 2 was better.
author 1 needs to work on dialog and do a little research a kid with a father that abusive wouldn't be throw his food. also the story went no where.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-09-27 10:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-09-27 03:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeaaa
Submitted by Natalia_Everitt (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked number one until the ending, that sucked. Number two was okay, while the premise was interesting you could have explained more and took a little more time writing it. However, yours was better so number two gets my vote.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-26 13:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They were both wonderful. It was a difficult decision.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-09-25 16:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ValakasDemon (user info) at 2004-09-25 16:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-09-25 16:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2004-09-25 07:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-09-25 04:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2004-09-25 01:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-09-24 19:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Tough choice.
Instinct tells me to vote for entry #1.
Body count: 319
http://tbd.yi.org/umbc.php
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-24 14:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry One: Not bad. But it didn't really stand out to me either.
Entry Two: Well... it wasn't good. But it was a nice healthy attempt, and I can respect that. I'd like to see what you write if you get to next round.
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-09-24 14:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-24 12:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-24 12:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by razmataz73 (user info) at 2004-09-24 12:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't bother.
Submitted by zombieZero (user info) at 2004-09-24 12:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-24 12:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by I.G (user info) at 2004-09-24 10:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-24 09:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the second one didnt make much sense
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2004-09-24 09:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-09-24 09:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Went with two as one had just one too many gramatical errors and felt rushed.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-09-24 09:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-09-24 08:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-09-24 07:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2004-09-24 07:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-09-24 03:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CornerNoob <tribesquirrel.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-09-24 02:22:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really Good. Hard to tell if your a famous writer already. It doesn't matter to me which you pick, every single story would bring an A+ at my school.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-09-24 01:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
blah
Submitted by author #1 at 2004-09-24 01:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This story didn't do what I wanted it to do. I wrote it on Sunday and did a little editing, but didnt get to change it to what actually happened. I thought I was going to be gone all week for work but things fell through and I'm back again.
I kind of based this off something that I actually saw happen. I know three spanks hardly seems like child abuse. I didn't emphasize it enough.
What actually happened was this. The kid threw his burrito then got off his chair and started running down the hall to get away because he knew he was in trouble. Meanwhile his brother had gotten off the chair, stepped in his way, and the problem child bowled him over, knocking the brother into the edge of the wall.
The father went ballistic. He grabbed the kid and spanked him...REPEATEDLY. Not once..not twice...not five...more like 15 times. When the kid got to the point of not breathing the father kept saying
"Apologize to your brother"
less than 3 second intervals. after about 30 seconds of non stop wailing and finally having breath to say it he apologized and got three more. I dont care what you say...that is over the line.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-09-24 01:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-23 23:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hmm.
I was under the impression that this was a writing competition, not a "put random words on a page, hope they make sense, and pray people vote for me" competition
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-23 23:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-09-23 23:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Therighteouswicked (user info) at 2004-09-23 22:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-09-23 22:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What?
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-09-23 22:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-09-23 22:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:37:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate guys named Chris.
--
My name's Chris. I hate guys named Steve that hate the name Chris. Let's duel.
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-09-23 22:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-09-23 22:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate to give this to another sob-story about child abuse. I liked number 2's idea better, but number 1 was much better in the execution.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-23 21:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-23 21:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate guys named Chris.
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! A hard choice, finally. My hat is off to both authors for well-written posts. I picked two only because it held my interest a little more, and made me wish for a follow-up or longer piece.
Submitted by yetti_girl (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one wasn't anything special, but entry two's writer needs to learn how to use commas. S/he also needs to learn how to write.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2004-09-23 20:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-09-23 19:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry 1 was pretty good. Entry 2... ugh. Especially the last line.
Submitted by mountain24 (user info) at 2004-09-23 19:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-23 19:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Decent work from both of you.
#1 - Very well done, but I thought it was kind of pointless. Sure, there are a lot of statements to be made about domestic abuse and the like, but Alan reminds me of my mother. Very moody, but pretty much harmless. You can't reason with a four year old, but you sure as shit can smack their butt, that is not hard to understand.
#2 - Nice work, but I'm afraid its not enough to get my vote. Thanks anyways.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-09-23 19:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't really understand entry 2. So, was the beast Greg or something?
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-09-23 19:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-23 19:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
one was better written.
i never thought i would grow tired of death.
i have no idea what the hell went on at the end of #2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2004-09-23 18:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh so close...
Submitted by omnifica (user info) at 2004-09-23 18:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-23 18:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-23 18:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MM_LP_Track3 (user info) at 2004-09-23 17:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-09-23 17:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 because #2 wasn't very well developed... How does Emily know what Greg is just by seeing where he lives??? Then all of a sudden she knows what sets him off...???
Could have been better.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-09-23 17:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-23 17:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2004-09-23 17:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2, you totally lost me. Had a glimmer of potential, but once the "huge thin beast" showed up, it went directly to crap on a speeding train.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nitty34: spanking i don't have a problem with, to a point. however i think the way it was handed out in anger was abusive.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
monster. hmmmm, uh, 1.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh..
Submitted by Grover (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by evolydal (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Author #2 at 2004-09-23 16:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry about the poor ending to my one. College is really hectic at the moment and so I kinda faded out while writing it.
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lalala...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 made sense none.
Submitted by BoxcarChild (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by YouLookLikeINeedADrink (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Two made no sense.
Perhaps I just don't understand?
That wasn't funny.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I only voted for #2 because it had more potential. #1 was OK.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45825
Submitted by MeatJerky (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ralphmacchio (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tough call
Submitted by girlreporter (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for both of you.
Submitted by Dirtbird (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bekah Powell <goodasgold11086.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-09-23 15:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i think it really made ya think...although the point needed to be driven home a lil better.
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is it possible that the second entry was intentionally written in such a piss-poor way? I almost voted for it, due to the sheer entertainment value of its awfulness.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by treblereel (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In entry 2 Emily went from wanting to find out what the strange boy was all about, to saying that Chris didnt understand (intimating that she did). That jump in logic caused me to vote for #1.
Interesting story in #2 though, wish it had been longer and a little more fleshed out.
Submitted by DanJaines (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bleating baby Jesus in a basket! #2 may be the worst entry yet!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!
I vote for #1.
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by babydoll (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 since #1 thinks a spanking constitutes abuse.
I plan on spanking my kids one day.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Both pretty crappy, but one was just too plain awful.
He woke up. He thought abou food. He kicked a donkey. He got out of bed....
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-09-23 15:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Another shit I'm taking on this stupid contest.
Why the fuck would that story end like that? If I wrote it, the uncle would beat the shit out of the father, and beat him to death!
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not only did nobody die in entry 1, but I thought it was so descriptive that I could picture everything vividly.
I really liked #1.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"tired eyes were being abused by the constant screaming"
what?
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither were good, but at least Entry 1 didn't read like it'd skipped the important parts in the middle.
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought they both sucked on equal levels. The irs one was probably better, but I didnt really fel like voting for either.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one needed some dialogue tags, but was the better story, I think.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-23 14:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stefan <cosmic0802.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-09-23 14:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:33:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was ultra mundane
#2 seems like it was taken directly from a Goosebumps book.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-23 14:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
still don't know what it was . . . but damn that was good.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Eeny Meeny Miny Mo.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-23 14:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment