The Cult (699 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: failures
Rating: 1.4 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by a junkie (View user info) at 2004-09-24 13:24:18 EDT
The Cult by a junkie
She knew she had less than an hour left. She didn't think she could make it.
She had motivation--without question, she had motivation:
The Cult.
Would they stay with her through this eternal pain? When would it end? When--
Her thoughts were cancelled by the voice.
-- there's no patience left -- shattered little self
It was become a battle of will, then--and of her body, and her mind as well.
-- I despise all of your lies
What did it mean? Was her body a lie? It seemed very real right now, and heavy.
Her heart was beating faster; she didn't see how she could make it. She had to.
-- free baby free baby free baby
The Cult was powerful. She didn't feel powerful, or free. she felt weary.
She could just give up, but she knew what that would mean....
-- free baby free baby free baby
Did they mock her? Condemn her? Or was she already free? What was she supposed
to do? If only she could just stop, just ... rest. The temptation was strong.
It would be so pleasant to give up, release herself from this pointlessness.
Or, she could go back to them...
-- the time has finally come
Time. Too much time. She knew she couldn't make it, but she kept on.
She was sweating now, having to fight for every breath. How much time was there?
She could find out, but she didn't want to know; it was getting harder to focus.
Her thoughts drifted, escaping the closet of her mind. But there was still the
voice. Persistent. Gnawing at her resistance. Mixing truth with lie with truth,
to accomplish some unknown goal. What is truth?
-- don't you know the truth is killing you? -- freedom is a vision
Freedom is a vision. But is it a vision of the end, or an endless beginning?
This was too much. Too hard. Day after day, it has been like this, a race of rats.
For so long. She was so tempted to just give in, give out, give up. She kept on.
-- holy in your time -- holy in your mind
Her temple, her body. How can they reach her in here, in her own mind? Why do they?
-- Don't you know I've got a pagan heart? -- I want you to notice
Nearly exhausted, she falls into an altered state. She is receptive, now.
-- Don't abandon truth
Truth. They're killing her with truth. This has to be the end. Very soon....
-- You're so wrapped up in your tiny self -- Buried
Yes, she was dying. She had to end it now. No... Yes... no... yes....
But wait--she didn't have to. Not at all. It was already over.
She could stop.
At last the friendly message she'd so long been waiting for had arrived.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> WORKOUT COMPLETE <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Obviously,
User Reviews
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-09-26 19:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-09-24 20:35:46 (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it, but I wanted more specifics. It felt so general.
That line about a pagan heart was really good.
_______________________________________________________________
Wow! Actual feedback, and from a Goddess, no less. Thanks.
The story had to be general because it was supposed to be potentially
three (at least) different possible stories, right up until the end...
(and perhaps after that)....
The lines starting with "--" are some favorites from the The Cult's
eponymous album.
*****
Making something more specific makes it less ambiguous.
Making something less ambiguous makes it more untrue.
--Fegg
I'm gratified that some people caught the implicit reference to Sonic Temple.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-09-25 15:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What. The. Fuck?!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-25 01:38:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DamienX <DamienX.at.home.com> at 2004-09-25 01:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good writing.
"Ciao, Baby"
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-24 22:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was ready to give this a negative rating until I made it to the end.
Well done, completely took me by surprise.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-09-24 20:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it, but I wanted more specifics. It felt so general.
That line about a pagan heart was really good.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-09-24 14:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Firrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!
Fire!
brb - gotta tame my American Horse.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-09-24 14:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Again.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-09-24 14:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THE CULT! IAN! YES!
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-09-24 13:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dammit. pay attention to detail.
FEGG'S BRAIN: My bad.