Just One More Step (989 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.1 on 99 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-09-25 02:30:20 EDT
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Entry 1
"Hold still, Mr. Fallon. Just one more step and we'll be done.""Mmm-mmmph!" Gary Fallon was not in the mood for holding still. After all of the time and effort put into his surgery, all he could think of was going back to a normal life. Three months of planning and meeting with the world's leading reconstructive surgeons had drawn him near the breaking point. Twenty-six separate surgeries over four months are hard enough to stand, but Gary was oblivious to it all. All he could remember was being wheeled in for the first one. The doctors had kept him in a drug-induced coma so that his body could have time to heal. Now he was confronted with this bitch of a nurse who smelled like french toast and garlic.
"And a snip-snip here, and a snip-snip there..."
Gary resolved himself to have her killed once he was back on his feet. His feet! Gary made a quick little plea towards the heavens before attempting to move his big toe on his right foot. He willed his toe to move, and it did. 'A bit erratic for all the money this is costing', he thought as the nanotechnology that provided him with working feet pulsed through the hydraulic chamber, which was now his toe muscle. He knew that he must have had at least partial success. The big test would be flexing the other 379 electronic 'muscles', which were also in his body. He chuckled to himself, thinking 'The Six Million Dollar Man doesn't have anything on me'.
PAIN!
"Sorry Mr. Fallon, I need to do this, and it might hurt."
Bitch.
Gary drifted back into a state of semi-conscious awareness, and the situation that brought him to this hospital played out in his head.
---------
Gary Fallon had been one of the lucky ones. At least he had made it back alive. Most of the research party had made it back in body bags. He wondered if that would've been an easier destiny, to simply die in the sub-zero temperatures with no communication, very little food and water left, and muscles and bones, which were dying due to frostbite. When a search team sent out by his board of directors found him, he was huddled under a mass of dead bodies, trying to shield himself from the elements. He couldn't recall how long he had been waiting. 4 days, maybe a week? It was hard to tell. Most of the time he was sleeping. He slept not only to conserve energy, but also to stop himself from going crazy.
The remains of the AS332L Super Puma that had brought him and the 14 other geologists, mining experts, and guides to search for silicon had plunged deep into the Arctic snow. He and one of the miners had managed to pull themselves out of the wreckage and up to the surface. The adrenaline in their systems had given them the strength to harness and pull out corpses of the others who were not as fortunate. Gary had figured that the beacon and flight recorder from the helicopter would give away their position and allow help to reach them. He was wrong.
----------
A white light invaded Gary's vision. He attempted to shield his eyes with his hand, but found his arms restrained.
"Hold still, Gary, we need to check your progress." He recognized the voice of the chief surgeon, Dr. Fleming.
Hold still. Hold still. 'You try holding still for four months, and then hold still for a few minutes more.' Gary was more than anxious to try out his new body. One whole leg and half of the other were replaced with his company's technology. Not classified as orthotics, these implants connected to Gary's spine, acting just as well, if not better than his original flesh and bone. His left arm from the shoulder down was now reminiscent of a backhoe, metal architecture with hydraulic support. His appendages were very well detailed however, although his palm looked like it could probably erase pencil from paper with its soft rubber cushion.
Gary's ribcage had also been replaced with a carbon fiber set, weighing in at just under 12 ounces. Even his sexual organs were replaced, a fully functioning penis, complete with fake testicles. He had been rendered infertile by the cold, yet he now had a full eight inches of Pennsylvania's finest titanium. It would continue to look like a snake with its multiple interlocked joints, allowing it to swing freely. However, with one thought, he knew he would be able to pump hydraulic fluid through it, winning bets and seducing women.
The $225M price tag on these operations seemed outrageous, but Gary didn't care. His company was footing half the bill, and Gary's personal monies would easily cover the balance. After all, being the lead research scientist at Sapiotech had paid well. Right now, he just wanted to be normal.
"Gary, we're going to have to sedate you again. The skin from Sapiotech has arrived, and we have a small window in which to use it. Say goodnight Gracie."
'Goodnight, Gracie', Gary thought as he drifted out of consciousness. 'If all else fails, I could always land a job as a porn star.'
- VS -
Entry 2
Hurtling through the air, stomach down and relaxed on the round cradle of this atomic bomb. The velocity makes my hair whip at my blissful face, but my mind doesn't comprehend swiftly enough. My fall is in slow motion. I just want to feel that sweet release, that numb power that will be the epic explosion; Easy exoneration...Am I waking up?
Why does everything have to be an idiot's allegory to me? The fucking sidewalk blows my mind. Standing here what am I? I just look so closely, it seems so obscure. Just One More Step? What? Why? I need to clear my head of insane cobwebs before progressing.
What makes one step, one person, different from another?
The step that I made my first... it's co-ordinates insignificant to anything. Unimportant, and seemingly the most important of my life? I am unimportant.
An infinite amount of steps have been taken, a constantly rising number that is increasing as I type this, as you read this. Everyone knows this, this meaninglessness. But why then, is the sound of your own two feet making their own clicks, clacks, pitters, and patters in the middle of a modern metropolitan night so striking? Doublethink? Just plain 'no think'.
Even my suicidal, escapist dream is unoriginal. Many people have fantasized about going out in a blaze of glory, riding atop the destroyer of worlds. The only difference is I'm doing it...
...not.
I'm merely typing inane bullshit, I'm lost?
I need to go outside and hear my own two feet again.
The sound of Just One More Step is never lost.
Entry 1:
AshK
babydoll
bargled
Bigmike
Bizdorph
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
cexshun
checkyourmail
Circe
comicbookguy
congo
darko
Dirtbird
Disektor
EchoBoxing
engine13
evolydal
facts
Falconer
FilthyAssistant
Fr057m0urn3
FunnyAsCancer
gamma
Genko
girlreporter
Gnome
humor_me
hyprspacd
Ignore_the_Small_Print
Impassive-Digressive
indoninja
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
Julia
Katja
knucklesnelson
Loren1
mikethescottish
NerfHerder
ohlookasquirrel
OneCheapGeek
ParlorTrick
Pentameter
polyamorousaj
QueenAshlee
razmataz73
runninginplace
satchel
sebcharrot
Seralena
SilvrWolf
sixmilliondots
Skippy
Slovin
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Spiral_Abraxis
Spooner
steph
stevie_says
Stin
strider
SullyThePirate
the_lone_stranger
Therighteouswicked
TigerLilly
tinactin
tlozoot
Totally_useless
treblereel
User10030
wazzawazzayo
WiKi
xenon
Yes
YouLookLikeINeedADrink
Zoidberg
62 eligible votes (79 total) *
Entry 2:
Anjie
Brdn_Nkd
corn_nugget
cshape
gibberish
LadyPlural
munkeypants
Natsukau
omnifica
salmonofdoubt
Smurfs
whiskas
William_Q_Percy
10 eligible votes (13 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-10-15 15:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-09-29 14:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwww! Now I want a titanium penis!
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-09-29 14:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-09-29 13:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-09-29 08:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2004-09-29 01:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Katja (user info) at 2004-09-28 15:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-28 15:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-09-28 15:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...good thing I still have half my lunch left, because I lost the first half after finishing post #2.
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Skippy (user info) at 2004-09-27 23:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-09-27 23:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1
Demented AND well-written.
A BIG yes vote.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. A bit more meat to Entry 1 and it would have been quite good.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what the heck was #2?
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GAH
Submitted by treblereel (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 didn't make much sense to me.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-27 11:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-09-27 10:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-09-27 10:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2004-09-27 10:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-09-27 10:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 is something different than we have seen, and I liked it
2. I like random, but wow.
Submitted by Dirtbird (user info) at 2004-09-27 09:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-27 09:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AUTHOR 1 at 2004-09-27 08:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The story is not as developed as I would have liked it to be.
I know I could've gotten a bit more detailed and taken the plot somewhere further, but I didn't.
Also, please realize that this is my very first attempt at fiction.
Evar.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-09-27 08:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-09-26 21:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-26 21:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow...
Just wow.
Submitted by evolydal (user info) at 2004-09-26 19:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by razmataz73 (user info) at 2004-09-26 18:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Was a little hard to get into. But Entry 2 made me read almost every line 5 or 6 times, and I still couldn't figure out where he/she was going. Meh.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-26 18:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh?
Submitted by sixmilliondots (user info) at 2004-09-26 18:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-26 18:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-09-26 17:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-26 13:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by omnifica (user info) at 2004-09-26 10:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-09-26 07:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry two would have been pretty good if it were fleshed out more.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-26 04:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-09-26 03:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Therighteouswicked (user info) at 2004-09-26 02:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-09-26 01:28:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by YouLookLikeINeedADrink (user info) at 2004-09-25 22:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry 1 makes me want more. Lots more.
Entry 2 just seemed like incoherent babble.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-25 21:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-09-25 21:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-09-25 21:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by girlreporter (user info) at 2004-09-25 20:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to ask, what good are sexual organs that only please others?
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-09-25 19:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-09-25 19:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was ok, #2 was merely babble.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-09-25 19:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-09-25 19:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Oh dear...
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-09-25 19:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pretty good, although short. Entry #1 IS TEH WINNAR!!1
Another mass killing.
Body count: 366
http://tbd.yi.org/umbc.php
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-09-25 17:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no competition, good stuff.
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-09-25 17:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-09-25 17:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, Entry 1.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-09-25 16:39:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2004-09-25 16:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-09-25 15:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2004-09-25 15:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by author 2 <yaya.at.yaya.com> at 2004-09-25 15:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm getting destroyed. I went to post the thing that I'd written originally, and it was gone, so I threw this together pretty haphazardly with the hope that something this random and free flowing would do OK. Obviously it didn't =P. Hmm, I think there are more deserving losers in other posts, but good luck to author1.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-09-25 13:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm. Entry 1 got my attention but then didn't do anything with it. Entry 2 just sounded laboured.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-25 13:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'd do the bionic man...
...you know where.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-09-25 12:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-25 12:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
holy suck
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-09-25 12:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Was number two a forfeit?
I honestly can't tell.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-09-25 12:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-25 11:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-09-25 09:55:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh....yeah.
Entry one could have been more developed and more sensical, but it was hella better than entry two.
Please have proper grammar when attempting depth.
_____________
Oh the irony.
"Hella" is not a word, nor is "sensical." Please USE proper grammar (and real words) when attempting criticism.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-25 11:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-09-25 10:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-09-25 10:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-09-25 09:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-09-25 09:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh....yeah.
Entry one could have been more developed and more sensical, but it was hella better than entry two.
Please have proper grammar when attempting depth.
Submitted by babydoll (user info) at 2004-09-25 09:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-09-25 07:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2004-09-25 05:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2004-09-25 05:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just don't know
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-09-25 04:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-25 04:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-09-25 03:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by whiskas (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by randomrandom <ranodmrandom.at.random.random> at 2004-09-25 02:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dsfsf
Submitted by randomrandom <ranodmrandom.at.random.random> at 2004-09-25 02:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kekekekekegonuts.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why you would be searching for silicon in the Arctic, but regardless, I thought entry one was quite well done. Entry two was far too disorganised for my liking.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2004-09-25 02:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment