Sounds Like A Plan (527 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Disektor <random.address.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-26 04:15:05 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
The phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, this is Ryan, wanna go do something tonight?"
"Sure, sounds like a plan," I said.
"Alright then, I'll pick you up in ten minutes."
I was "lucky" enough to be invited to go with a few friends to the local video store where they had their grand midnight DVD release of Star Wars Episodes 4-6. I didn't know what to expect before arriving. I imagined it would be something similar to the scenes in the Triumph the Insult Dog video that circulated on the Internet awhile back.
For some reason my friends decided we needed to be there at 10:30 as opposed to Midnight, when we could actually buy the DVD set. As the clock neared Midnight, more and more people arrived. No plastic lightsaber fights had broken out, and no one had even dressed up. I actually thought the last 20 minutes until Midnight would tick away without any incidents, but then SHE showed up. Being female in a store full of balding, overweight and sex deprived men was bad enough, the fact that she was a reporter for the paper made it even worse.
Her first interview was going fairly well, the guy had managed to answer a few questions without asking to see her boobs - something I thought was impossible. I turned my attention away from the interview and that's when I saw him. Luke Skinner was his name. Who'd have ever thought a man by the name of Luke Skinner would be a Star Wars fan? It truly is a crazy world. My first sight of Luke was not a pretty one. I looked at his face, then my eyes moved downward. Luke was playing with himself.
A few things entered my mind at that moment. The first was "May the force be with you" and then came the second where I pictured him naked in his room, eyes closed, whispering "Don't stop Chewy, oh god please don't stop!" Needless to say, I was very disturbed.
I wish I could say Luke's role in my story was finished, but alas... it was not to be. The woman decided to interview Luke, and what an interview it was. Luke Skinner is an amazing man whose accomplishments in life include being first in line to Star Wars Episodes 1 and 2, as well as being the first in line for the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. In his time at the theatre Luke discovered that Natalie Portman was his favorite actress. She is so good in fact, that he cries when she comes on screen. Luke also drives an old, child molester style van.
Sadly, Luke's effort to be the first person to purchase the DVD set came to a tragic end when he was cut in a line by a large black man. Luke appeared as though he would cry, but he was able to control his sadness until he reached the parking lot, where he proceeded to burst into tears. During his brief stay in the line Luke announced to the store that upon arriving home he planned on watching Episodes 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6, all in a row. As you've probably figured out, Luke lives with his mother.
After Luke left, the store returned to normal, and my story came to its end.
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 12:15:38 EST (#)
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