An American Petitioning for the Invasion of Canada (733 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: -0.11 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Johnson <rickcane7479.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-26 14:10:37 EDT
My fellow Americans, I contact you in this hour of grave need to let you know how we can save this country from its poor state of affairs. It more important now than ever that the United States of America take up arms against our neighbors to the north and invade them. Canada must be invaded, dismantled, and made into 50 new states (that way, we'll have an even 101 states when we add Puerto Rico AND we'll then be the largest country in the world).
Why invade Canada. Because they should've always been part of the US. They're just like a big lot of land that no one really uses. We need to take over and make Canada's farmland all into a huge industrial megalopolis. Then, we'll make robots that will take over the rest of the world. And all will be ours. Hmaw-hmaw-hmaw!
User Reviews
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2004-09-27 07:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How many people have brought this up in one form or another? Probably more than the number of people who complain about goths(myself included). BORING. AND GOTHS, GO GET SOME FUCKING SUN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD BE SPREAD ON A BAGEL!
Submitted by JungleJane (user info) at 2004-09-27 06:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:51:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
There are some serious flaws in your plan. First, you have Alaska invading Canada from the north, a clever strategy, but lacking. You see, according to the 2000 census, there are only 4 people living in the entire state of Alaska. Now, you send 4 people into northern Canada, and they are going to freeze to death before they meet any opposition, because nobody lives in northern Canada. Another flaw is that you are taking the grand total of 12 people who live in north/south Dakota and splitting them up, to send them into west and central Canada. Canada is mostly permafrost, which would severely limit the marching speed of our troops. The U.S. army, in all their wisdom, would probably come out with some great idea like giving the troops ice skates. Now, you have six guys ice skating into Canada, and your gonna get a hockey game, and we are going to get our shit ruined. The only place where we would see vistory is having the crazy fucking new yorkers invading Quebec. Because, quite frankly, the rest of Canada is going to fight for Quebec. The only problem is why the fuck would we want quebec?
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Haha! This made me laugh even though I'm Canadian.
To the dipshit who wrote the post- BORING. You made my hangover kick into overdrive which pisses me off because I have 15 headlines to write in the next day and a half and now all I want to do is take a nap.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-26 22:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Silly boy, don't you know that Puerto Rico will never become a state. They would then have to pay taxes; why would they want to do that when they already get US assistance for free?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Take a look at anywhere in this city. We're already part of the states, trust me.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The reviews made this a +2 from a +1
Submitted by matchstickman (user info) at 2004-09-26 21:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mikethescottish (rated -2)
a friend of mine says that if she had a dick, kazakhstan would suck it
Pingu
"This is one of those posts that brings out the worst in people... Bauen Sie, Jungen zusammen! Zeit, den Norden zu nehmen!"
if i could rate your review, i would give it a -5, because you are one of people whom i would nominate for the snuff channel...if you don't get it, http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html just browse around you will find it
there are lots of americans that go JK OMG LOL I <3 CANADA but then there are americans like me who aren't 10 and realize that canada is a just snow and a bunch of whiney bitches, some of which can play an exceptional game of hockey. basically, if i were told to list 5 things canada was good for, i would fail, because there are only 3. whining, hockey and snow. and if some canadian decides he's going to say i'm a dickhead, i'm going to pre-empt him. i'm not only a dickhead, i'm a fascist. i advocate the invasion and institution of martial law of/in canada.
not only that but we should also invade greenland because it would make a nice ski resort.
Submitted by iloveamerica (user info) at 2004-09-26 20:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great! And i think we all know that there are more than 4 people in Alaska, tho 4 people probably could destroy the entire canadian army. But be warned, canada is full of a bunch of whiney retards that blame all of their problems on America. America would have to put up with it alot more...or just shoot those that cant keep their mouth shut.
Anyway canada sucks and should be taken over, maybe then somebody could do something useful with the country.
For more information on canada, why canada sucks, and what canadians look like go to my site
www.geocities.com/americaisbetterthancanada
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-26 20:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's do it!
Those cunuks think that they have any control in north america? No. We should show them the truth by taking their weak asses over. The NYPD is stronger than Canada's army.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-26 19:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i guess americans don't want Atlantic Canada either. All New York forces are headed west-ward. meh.
Submitted by atcg (user info) at 2004-09-26 19:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm Canadian, but I smile at trolls.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2004-09-26 19:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You know what would make this post good? Anything resembling original thought.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-09-26 18:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope an angry beaver invades your anus for posting this.
Submitted by floob at 2004-09-26 17:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:51:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
There are some serious flaws in your plan. First, you have Alaska invading Canada from the north, a clever strategy, but lacking. You see, according to the 2000 census, there are only 4 people living in the entire state of Alaska. Now, you send 4 people into northern Canada, and they are going to freeze to death before they meet any opposition, because nobody lives in northern Canada. Another flaw is that you are taking the grand total of 12 people who live in north/south Dakota and splitting them up, to send them into west and central Canada. Canada is mostly permafrost, which would severely limit the marching speed of our troops. The U.S. army, in all their wisdom, would probably come out with some great idea like giving the troops ice skates. Now, you have six guys ice skating into Canada, and your gonna get a hockey game, and we are going to get our shit ruined. The only place where we would see vistory is having the crazy fucking new yorkers invading Quebec. Because, quite frankly, the rest of Canada isn't going to fight for Quebec. The only problem is why the fuck would we want quebec?
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hehe...good call
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit, that's suppose to be "the rest of Canada isn't going to fight for Quebec".
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are some serious flaws in your plan. First, you have Alaska invading Canada from the north, a clever strategy, but lacking. You see, according to the 2000 census, there are only 4 people living in the entire state of Alaska. Now, you send 4 people into northern Canada, and they are going to freeze to death before they meet any opposition, because nobody lives in northern Canada. Another flaw is that you are taking the grand total of 12 people who live in north/south Dakota and splitting them up, to send them into west and central Canada. Canada is mostly permafrost, which would severely limit the marching speed of our troops. The U.S. army, in all their wisdom, would probably come out with some great idea like giving the troops ice skates. Now, you have six guys ice skating into Canada, and your gonna get a hockey game, and we are going to get our shit ruined. The only place where we would see vistory is having the crazy fucking new yorkers invading Quebec. Because, quite frankly, the rest of Canada is going to fight for Quebec. The only problem is why the fuck would we want quebec?
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've made it fairly clear, I fucking hate canada.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pingu (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
This is one of those posts that brings out the worst in people. You've got the hot-blooded Canadians getting offended at the mere mention of our country. Then there are the Americans who crack a joke about Canada and follow it up with 'Just kidding! OMGLOL I <3 u!11'. If I peed in your cheerios and told you it was a joke, would you still eat them? Fuck no. Then there are the people who feel the need to over-analyze things. Pulling up the rear are the pro-americans who take the post seriously and form a line at the border. Bauen Sie, Jungen zusammen! Zeit, den Norden zu nehmen!
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who me? Oh come on. These guys know I'm kidding. The -2 would indicate it.
Submitted by Pingu (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is one of those posts that brings out the worst in people. You've got the hot-blooded Canadians getting offended at the mere mention of our country. Then there are the Americans who crack a joke about Canada and follow it up with 'Just kidding! OMGLOL I <3 u!11'. If I peed in your cheerios and told you it was a joke, would you still eat them? Fuck no. Then there are the people who feel the need to over-analyze things. Pulling up the rear are the pro-americans who take the post seriously and form a line at the border. Bauen Sie, Jungen zusammen! Zeit, den Norden zu nehmen!
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Snore.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:56:04 (#)
Ranking: -1
Why would you want Canada? It's full of Canadians.
I'm KIDDING!!! Mad love to my neighbors up North.
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Hahaha...
Canada RULES!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOO.
Submitted by scoobidydoo2003 (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I completely support your idea.
Submitted by DarkTemplarDM (user info) at 2004-09-26 15:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It won't be full of Canadians after we kill them all.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Why would you want Canada? It's full of Canadians.
I'm KIDDING!!! Mad love to my neighbors up North.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Utter crap.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i bet you think you're original
Submitted by tlovess (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
!wamh-wamh-wamH.sruo eb lliw lla dnA .dlrow eht fo tser eht revo ekat lliw taht stobor ekam ll'ew ,nehT. silopolagem lairtsudni eguh a otni lla dnalmarf s'adanaC ekam dna revo ekat ot deen eW. sesu yllaer eno on taht dnal fo tol gib a ekil tsuj er'yehT .SU eht fo trap neeb syawla ev'dluohs yeht esuaceB .adanaC edavni yhW
(dlrow eht ni yrtnuoc tsegral eht eb neht ll'ew DNA ociR otreuP dda ew nehw 101 neve na ll'ew ,yaw taht) setats new 05 otni edam dna ,deltnamsid ,dedavni eb tsum adanaC .meht davni dna htron eht ot srobhgien rou tsniaga smra pu ekat aciremA fo setatS detinU eht taht reve naht won tnatropmi erom tI .sriaffa fo etats roop sti morf yrtnuoc siht evas nac ew woh wonk uoy tel ot deen evarg fo ruoh siht ni uoy tcatnoc I ,snaciremA wollef yM
Freak heaven!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was going to minus two this because it was stupid and crazy and overdone. But then I read about the robots, it just might be crazy enough to work.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who says America doesn't own Canada. Besides Canada has all those dirty Frenchies. And no Canucks better get all pissy towards me cause I live in Canada.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2's for life for trying to revive a stupid idea.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-09-26 14:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why invade Canada? At least go for a cool-sounding country, like Kazakhstan.