It Wasn'T My Fault (355 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.15 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-09-27 01:16:06 EDT
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Entry 1
"It Wasn't My Fault!"Originally insipired by Calvin Miller
------------------------------------------------------------
Ellen came home from a ten hour shift
Intent to relax in the peace of her home
Life is tough as a single mother of one
But it's easily better than living alone
She pulled into the driveway
She locked up the car
She opened the door to the house
And yelled:
"Thomas! Come down here now!"
Thomas came down down the stairs
Hands folded behind him
Mother did not seem happy
Her face seemed somewhat grim
Which made a lot of sense
Considering the state of the room
A mess so immense
It surely spelled Thomas' doom
"Explain this please, Thomas."
His mother demanded
"And just this one time, Thomas
Try to be candid."
(I know that in real life
people don't speak in time
but it's written this way
to continue the rhyme.)
"But where shall I start?"
Tom said to Ellen
"For I well understand
I may seem like a felon.
There's dirt on the floors
Mud splattered on doors
Mire and muck on all the decor
The sofas are soiled
And the milk is all spoiled
For someone forgot to shut the fridge door
And if you look over there
Someone's broken that chair
This place is a mess
And it doesn't seem fair
That I take the blame
I'm innocent, I swear!"
Ellen thought for a minute
And asked with a sigh
"Who did it Thomas?"
But she knew his reply
"It wasn't my fault!"
Thomas said to his mother
"The culprit was Stan
My invisible brother."
And his mother responded:
"We've been over this Thomas
You don't have a brother
I gave birth to one child
I'd have noticed another
Now this house is in shambles
And I'm tired from work
So clean up this room
Or I'll go berserk!"
"But mother," said Thomas
"It's not MY fault, I mean it!
Stan made the mess
So shouldn't Stan clean it?"
Now, Ellen was sick of playing this game
And thought perhaps Thomas and Stan were the same
To be brutally honest, she thought it was lame
For Tom to blame Stan, of mischievous fame
"You shall go to your room
Without any dinner
And ponder your deeds
While growing much thinner."
And off he went
Up the stairs with groan
To sit in his room
And think all alone
But once the door closed
And Ellen was gone
Stan finally spoke up
And said with a yawn:
"I'm hungry!" said Stan
"It seems rather rude
To send us to bed without any food."
"Be quiet." said Tom
"Aren't you the boy
Who got us sent to our room
Without dinner or toys?
I'm sick of getting in trouble
For all your bad deeds
This is NOT the arrangement
To which I agreed!"
And Stan said to Tom
"But what can I do?
It wasn't my fault she blamed it on you
I stood at your side
And waved at our mother
But she can't see or hear me
Your invisible brother
Haven't you wondered what's like to be me?
When mother ignores the child she can't see?
It hurts to have your own mother shun
Her very own, unseen, invisible son.
Sometimes we get blamed
For things we we don't do
And sometimes the blame
Falls unfairly on you
That's just how things are
The world's funny that way
But don't worry Tom
Tomorrow's a new day
So, it wasn't your fault Tom
And it sure wasn't mine
But that's in the past now
And we still haven't dined."
And so Tom and Stan
Light as a feather
Tip-toed downstairs
To get dinner together
AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
The world is large
And not always fair
If you should be falsely blamed
Then I urge you beware:
"It Wasn't My Fault"
Is just an excuse
And one that receives
A great deal of use
So try not to say it
(especially around mothers
and more importantly
never involve invisible brothers.)
So if you are feeling
Like you've come under fire
From an uncaring world
And it fills you with ire
And you think that you've taken
About all that you can
Try and remember about
Thomas and Stan
How much easier it is
How much happier we'd be
How much more
Happy and carefree
If we all were like Thomas
And always had a fan
In our imaginary
Invisible big brother: Stan.
- VS -
Entry 2
(10 bytes) [text/uberhtml]Entry 1:
Anjie
BLITZKREIG_BOB
cexshun
Circe
comicbookguy
Disektor
electrictoothsyndrome
evolydal
Herpes
hyprspacd
Ignore_the_Small_Print
Impassive-Digressive
Ingsoc
jack11058
JMG114
LadyPlural
NerfHerder
razmataz73
runninginplace
salmonofdoubt
Seralena
Slovin
SPECIALk
Stabkill
stevie_says
strider
wazzawazzayo
WiKi
Yes
24 eligible votes (29 total) *
Entry 2:
babydoll
bargled
bob
darko
EatMeCompletely
EchoBoxing
OneCheapGeek
SilvrWolf
sparkle_pink
tinactin
tlozoot
9 eligible votes (11 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Simply because it probably took a decent ammount of time to write it.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shades of Shel Silverstein.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-29 07:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2004-09-29 03:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-28 23:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't know if this was a ripoff or not...at face value, though, bravo!
You put me in the throes of amuzement, yo!
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-09-28 23:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Just wow. Very excellent, it's a shame your opponent was a forfeit.
No death!
http://tbd.yi.org/umbc.php
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-09-28 22:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-28 19:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-28 18:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-28 18:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-09-28 18:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Automatic win and +2. Didn't actually read it. Must keep humans in the competition.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-09-28 15:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-09-28 14:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-09-28 14:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for #1
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-09-28 14:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by razmataz73 (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
really cute. i love rhyming.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-09-28 10:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-09-28 10:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by evolydal (user info) at 2004-09-28 03:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-28 01:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-09-28 00:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pure, unadulterated crap.
Why do you make me vote for FORFEIT :(
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-09-27 23:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
some things i just can't vote for. Long poems with morals at the end of them, star wars posts, forfeits. Whaddya know, looks like i can vote for forfeits!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-27 21:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-27 20:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmm... That was a good poem.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-09-27 17:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-09-27 17:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-09-27 17:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-09-27 17:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by babydoll (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-09-27 12:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Author of Entry One at 2004-09-27 11:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forfeit? That's just not right.
It leaves me with a sick "I shouldn't be here" vibe.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-27 09:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As much as I hate poetry, it beats a forfeit.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-09-27 04:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-27 03:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-27 03:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-09-27 02:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Make that twice.