Dawn Over The Nullarbor (454 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.19 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-09-27 01:16:07 EDT
 |
This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
Doug turned his bleary eyes skywards, letting them roll around the grey morning skies for a few seconds. Night was just lifting itself away from the scene, lighting dull tower blocks as it crawled away from the cityscape. Doug caught the usual views of council tenements, the local pub, kebab boxes and beer cans. He recalled little of the preceding evening. There had been the usual cans of wife-beater back at Craig's flat, the ritual half-cooked kebab at Tanj's takeaway, then an evening of drunken shenanigans at his local, the Nullarbor Tavern. Pulling himself up until he was sitting, he saw the pub in all its glory, painted breezeblocks and decaying wood signs, to a backdrop of unloved council tenements. Syringes and crisp bags for exterior decoration, shady back alley for a beer garden. Simple, depressed, but he loved it like a long-trusted friend. This was, he reasoned, the real city, and he thought himself a real citizen for remaining true to the beer and blood-soaked legacy of his forefathers. A simple life- sleeping and watching Trisha until his unemployment benefit came through, then an afternoon at Ibrox and a piss-up on Saturday."Yaweefuckheids, thraanmeoot..."
Doug didn't know if he'd really been thrown out, but it would fill in a lot of the blanks. He remembered playing pool with Craig and Duncan, getting lairy at some unfortunate who'd spilled a bit of his pint on him. He didn't think that Morag, the pub landlady, had noticed, but maybe she'd been a bit more on the ball last night. It didn't matter. For the time being, Doug's mind was having enough trouble focusing on the task in hand- navagating his way home with a raging hangover and a meagre daylight. He saw the pub as he staggered upright, imposing and bleak, as a fortress. His flat as a peasant's hut. Even in his most remote fantasies, he couldn't imagine a place he felt more secure, more at home.
"Whayagontae, lads...."
Doug had mates. Five of them, if he remembered correctly. Mostly like himself- except Craig and Fraser, who had jobs in the city. A few weeks ago, Doug had called in on Craig whilst he was working. it had been strange to see his reckless drinking buddy in a suit and tie, selling overpriced penthouses to yuppie twentysomethings. In a way, he felt ashamed that he was so far removed from Craig's world of letting agreements and tenancy charters, but in a way he was glad. He wanted a simple life, to be a servant to nobody. In his mind he was William Wallace, or a slightly flabbier Mel Gibson, taking shit from nobody and fighting the evil opressors with an iron fist. After a hard afternoon fighting the system, he'd retire as the glorious victor to the Nullarbor, where cheering crowds would follow his every move, and the tracksuited tarts from the estates worshipped him as a god. Doug had fantasies like this often. In one dream, he was at the University, getting his certificate from a stern-faced man in a flowing black cape. In another, emerging determined from the player's tunnel to meet the Ibrox faithful, he saw thousands of fans cheering his name as he put one, two, three goals past the hapless Celtic goalie. In both cases he came back, enriched, to the welcoming arms of the Nullarbor. But he didn't have the patience for education or the talent for football. It was in the past, anyhow. Doug squinted his eyes, realised the sun was rising up, casting grey shadows into the alley. Time to go home. He gazed hopefully for one last time at the 'closed' sign on the door of the Nullarbor and started lumbering homewards.
"Ah'm comin, Stell, dahlin... whirr's the fukin tape..."
Doug still had Fraser's Oasis tape in his flat. He'd meant to give it back to him last night, but he'd left it in the kitchen. The lyrics buzzed through him like last night's beer, exploding from his mouth like last night's vomit. Doug didn't get far before a dog started howling after him, snarling from its chain. A loud housewife's voice told him to shut up. Unperturbed, he continued waltzing down the alley, strumming his imaginary guitar, singing to his imaginary fans, silencing his imaginary critics. Tonight, he decided, he was going to change. Escape would be his. Dull reality would change to shining fantasy- the dawn over the Nullarbor would change the dawning of a new era.
Doug raised his fists in victory, saluting his crowds, before falling awkwardly into the gutter. Instantly, he fell asleep amongst the dead leaves, his eager face awaiting the virginal, husky voices that would tell him it was going be OK. That he could take what he deserved. That the city stood poised, awaiting his every move.
- VS -
Entry 2
(10 bytes) [text/uberhtml]Entry 1:
bargled
BLITZKREIG_BOB
cexshun
comicbookguy
darko
dirtyweedjie
Disektor
evolydal
Herpes
hyprspacd
Ignore_the_Small_Print
Impassive-Digressive
indoninja
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
Julia
munkeypants
NerfHerder
polyamorousaj
runninginplace
salmonofdoubt
Seralena
sg11588
Slovin
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Stabkill
stevie_says
tinactin
WiKi
Yes
26 eligible votes (31 total) *
Entry 2:
OneCheapGeek
1 eligible votes (1 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-04 10:10:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're going down, Mike!
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2004-09-29 12:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by dirtyweedjie (user info) at 2004-09-29 03:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like a typical morning after to me.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-09-29 00:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good post.
No death!
http://tbd.yi.org/umbc.php
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-28 20:21:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-28 18:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-09-28 15:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-28 15:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*snf-snf*
Smells like a Scot to me...
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-09-28 14:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-09-28 14:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-09-28 13:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by evolydal (user info) at 2004-09-28 04:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-09-28 02:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This topic is pretty gay.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-28 01:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-09-28 00:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pure, unadulterated crap.
Why do you make me vote for FORFEIT :(
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-09-27 23:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Yaweefuckheids, thraanmeoot..."
you had me at Yawee
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-27 22:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tough title. fact that you wrote something gets you the vote
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-09-27 20:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-27 20:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-09-27 19:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I came up with this title.
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-09-27 17:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-27 10:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-27 09:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stupid vernaculars.
Submitted by Author 1 at 2004-09-27 06:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well i'll be damned. Fingers crossed this still means I get to face my original next-round opponent, I was looking forward to that (provided you people don't hate me enough to put the forfeit through).
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-09-27 04:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-09-27 04:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-09-27 03:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-27 03:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-27 02:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-09-27 02:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment