Why I put racing stripes on my computer(s). (1434 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.83 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (View user info) at 2004-09-27 13:20:56 EDT
From the Grimey episode: Homer (while showing off his powerplant model for some kids' contest):
"Then, I added some fins to lower wind resistance. (pointing) And this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp."
Well, the first computer I racing-striped (nothing more fun than verbing a noun) was my old Gateway laptop. I felt that the little black box was missing something...quite simply, it was missing some 2 inch silver (ok, duct tape color...ok, duct tape) racing stripes on the back. I'm not sure how many MHz I gained with this performance mod, but I'm pretty sure I picked up at least 5 HP at the wheels.
<Fast Forward a few years>
I've got a work-assigned clunker of a Dell with some sort of crappy Celeron processor. My Matlab benchmark test puts it somewhere between "tip-calculator" and "potato-clock." The obvious solution was racing stripes. I needed to up the performance on this badboy. So, with a pilfered roll of red duct tape (yes, I was floored as well) I used 1/2 tape-width strips and turned this beast from zero to hero! At one point, I had a cool Type-R sticker on it, but...come on...Type-R on a Dell? This doesn't even VTEC.
So, when people ask me why I have tape all over my gear, I can look at them with total seriousness, and say:
It makes it faster, and it looks pretty sharp, too.
User Reviews
Submitted by FF_EMT32 (user info) at 2005-10-31 22:51:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kickass...but...I'm not sure about the drinking and driving though...it's illegal to have an open container in your vehicle in most states!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-10-31 16:14:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haa cool
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-31 16:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I need to try the tape thing.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2005-10-31 16:03:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-31 15:59:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 PBR
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-10-31 15:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 PBR
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-28 10:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
enginneer (mech).
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2004-09-28 08:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
does you using matlab = you being a chemist / scientist
Submitted by Sekeeth (user info) at 2004-09-27 20:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I (heart) PBR
Photo helped with the visualization.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-27 19:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was wondering how to improve the performance on my work computer. I think you have just provided me with an answer!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Calvin & Hobbes reference gets auto +2. Unless you suck.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
armed with a roll of duct tape, we racing striped everything in sight when we were kids. including this old lady's buick. she wasnt too happy.
verbing a noun - calvin and hobbes.
+1 for PBR
+1 for Calvin and Hobbes
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh this has been done ad nauseam before
still, decent post
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-09-27 18:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, you need to start selling the stripes. you could make muny! I'd buy them. Actually I'd do it myself. Yeah.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-09-27 17:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny. I noticed all the coffee cans too.
I am also a fan of Cafe du Monde. Too bad we
can't see the spines of those books!!
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-09-27 17:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that looks fast
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But it really is still better than a +1.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The stripes on the keyboard don't line up with the stripes on the monitor. I expect PERFECTION, DAMMIT!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
VVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
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+1,000,000
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See, now that's classy.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:47:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Extra point for the Glen Plake poster on teh left rear wall.
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Holy crap - I can't believe you spotted that poster.
I used to have that same poster hanging on my bedroom wall when I was a kid!!
this post has so many +2s imbedded in it...it's crazy
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-09-27 15:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Extra point for the Glen Plake poster on teh left rear wall.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awesome.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, it's a "Bull Trout" from my Trout of North America calendar. That's right, I have a Trout calendar.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, okay... but it doesn't look THAT sharp.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice fish.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. I have a genuine Cadillac emblem riveted to one my old pc's. Of course, that was back in the days before "modding" your pc was cool.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PBR is nectar of the fucking GODS. I, sadly, put racing stripes on my dog. He seems faster.
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you can't duct it, fuck it.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wear can eye go for help?
Submitted by causeican (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your such a computer geek!
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-09-27 14:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W. Consider this a nomination.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really beg to differ, folks.
I consider myself a "beer snob," but still...PBR in a bottle is fantastic.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the awesome post.
-1 Pabst is horrible.
+1 I'm gonna linkwhore: http://www.ubersite.com/m/46262
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Pabst symbol screamed "redneck"....and I didn't want to +2 it for that reason.
So I will try to use my mind to warp that thinking into "retro" so I can leave a +2 with a clear conscious.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to have duct-tape on my 84 Camry ... It was structural.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How could I possibly rate this down?
I had a friend who put duct tape racing stripes on his '84 Honda Accord. It was funny as hell.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rules to live by:
A person needs only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how could I forget?!?!?
another +2 for PBR wallpaper!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You drink a lot of coffee!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/46263
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd give this +10 if I could.
I used to have a Type R sticker on my 21" NEC monitor.
"verbing a noun" lol
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why did I enjoy this?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's tragic that I respect this kind of thing.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like zero to hero.
I like it.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-27 13:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
VVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.