A little piece of advice to Gibberish (882 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.21 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Azriel (View user info) at 2004-09-28 10:42:25 EDT
Some of you might know that I'm hypochondriac. It's an evil disease that's makes you think you're going to die. As soon as there is something wrong with your body (Aches, cough, sore throat, etc), you think you are dying of the worst diseases known to men. For example, I shat black two weeks ago. I was sure I had stomach cancer. I went to see the doctor right away, panic attacks and hyperventilation getting the better of me. Here's how the consultation went;
9:00PM Doc: "What's up?"
9:00PM Me: "I shat black, I probably have stomach cancer or ulcers or something"
9:00PM Doc: "Do you have stomach aches? Trouble digesting?"
9:00PM Me: "Yes, yes, oh please tell me I'm not going to die"
9:01PM Doc: "Did you take Pepto Bismol for your digestion?"
9:01PM Me: "Yes, and I felt better right away"
9:01PM Doc: "That's why you shit black. There is iron in Pepto, now go home and sleep".
I started laughing at myself for being such a moron. I had waited 3 hours (Quebec's free medical system rocks) to waste everybody's time because I was a nervous wreck. The truth is, it isn't funny at all.
You always think life is like a video game where you have to save the princess or something and have infinite lives to do it. It's when you read stuff like Gibberish dying that it jumps in your face. There is no princess and plants don't spit canon balls.
Gibberish, I was very sorry to read that. I hope you will have a nice ride upstairs but keep your hands inside.
And here is a little piece of advice. Put a turtle shell near a stair and jump on it repeatedly. Don't do it more then 99 times or else, you will die right away. We never know, it might work.
User Reviews
Submitted by DaJerk (user info) at 2004-10-11 19:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shit happens !
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-09-28 14:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Judging by all the hahahas going on down there in French, I'll assume something funny's being said. So I'll give you a +2 on that assumption.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok mec, bonne chance...moi je dois aller faire ma feuille de temps
Bon après-midi
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bah... sans commentaires.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bahahhahahaha, mais n'aimes tu pas faire partie de la grand famille CGI?!
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You tell me!!! hehe.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mon prénom c'est alain. De toute façon je l'ai déjà écrit ici et là alors ça ne change pas grand chose. Et disons que me faire foutre à la porte de cgi serait un "blessing in disguise" :)
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tout simplement parce que je suis curieux mon cher :) Rien de plus t'inquiète.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pourquoi ca t'importe tant?
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:34:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
c'est quoi ton prénom?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nah, jte dis pas mon nom. on sait jamais. je connais juste ton prénom alors restons en là :)
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
C'est quoi ton nom?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jvais aller sur l'intranet dans le répertoire des membres et si tu es un conseiller principal je vais pouvoir te faire chanter!!! Promotion, hiiiiiiiii haw! Ok, je déconne... :)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i work for them too!
Submitted by Azriel (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes i work for CGI in Montreal. And Caulincour, i'm sorry for your friend. And believe me, if i could, i would stop my fits right away :)
P.S i also feel REALLY bad for Gibberish, it was to try and cheer him up.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry for getting pissed, my friend got hit by a bus yesterday. he had a broken arm and leg and had to wait for like 4 hours because some old ladies had coughing fits and vaginal rashes.
your email says "francois_cgi.at.hotmail.com", do you work at CGI in Mtl?
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes I wake up with a boner. I think I have periodic cockitis. Also known as morning wood.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was actually a pretty funny story, but I still feel bad about gibberish.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You and your kind are the reason why our medical system is so expensive for the government.
Next time you feel like going to the doctor, just ask yourself if you're worth the few hundred dollars your stupid visit will cost to Quebec. I don't think you are.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I got hair growing from my pupils. But i like it.
Submitted by Raymond (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Suzza (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it works, tell me.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had a gigantic lump on one of my balls for 2 years, but being the non-pussy that I am, I have not had it checked out. Why, I could drop dead tomorrow...
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-09-28 11:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Took me a while to catch the Mario connection with the turtle shell and the stairs (give me a break, NES is ancient history), but that was kind of funny. Not sure it will help Gib though.
By the way, anyone know what's wrong with him?
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-09-28 10:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Death and shit and Mario in the morning. I love Uber. That was nice.