Sam Goody is hiring retards! (717 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.94 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr. Awesome <steveisgreat.at.rock.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-28 12:21:06 EDT
I am somewhat poor. I have actually bought about six CDs in my lifetime. But I have quite a few CDs, so where did they come from? Why, I took them, of course!
The easiest thing to do is to just rip the plastic off with your keys, of course. But when you don't have your keys on you, what do you do? Spend ten minutes tearing the plastic off with your fingernails? In my Sam Goody, yes! The staff there is not aware of anything that happens in the store.
I am amazed at how the staff can be so oblivious. The wrapper makes a lot of noise, but they go about thier buisness, not hearing a single crinkle noise. I always have to suppress a snigger as I stfff the plastic into a CD rack (they won't find it for a week) and I walk out.
Once, I was unwrapping a CD, when two well-dressed gentlemen stepped in front of me and looked me straight in te eye. They both were working for Sam Goody, since they walked into the employees only section afterwards. My friend moved away. After a moment, they resumed whatever inane conversation they were having, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I took Brave New World by Iron Maiden.
I wonder what they must think. Mabye something like this:
Retardo: What this letter, lady?
Customer: An "L"
Retardo: URRGH!
Me In back of store: KKRGGH (htat's the wrapper being torn)
Customer: What's that?
Retardo: I don't know. URGGH! We hear lots of sounds. DUR!
Me: thanks for the CD, you 'tard!
Customer: (to manager) Shouldn't you go get him?
Manager: DUR! Get who, nice lady?
Me: I came back for more CDs!
I don't even try anymore. They are just so stupid. By the way, porn is easier to take because the wrapper is looser on the DVD boxes. For you simpletons who don't have a clue, use your keys to poke holes in the palstic.
User Reviews
Submitted by HelloMello (user info) at 2004-09-29 19:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WOOOOOOO
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-29 15:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could start up a family business.
Submitted by honeycake (user info) at 2004-09-28 19:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hurry up and apply!
(I really really read this. Really.)
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-28 19:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:53:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:50:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
You, sir, are a twat of the highest order.
What he said.
-Davros
------------------------------------------
What they said.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-09-28 18:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wait, you're *stealing* an Iron Maiden CD and someone ELSE is the retard?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-09-28 16:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let me rewrite this post for you:
"I'm 14 years old, and I'm in that "shoplifting stage" of my worthless little life.
I think it will impress people, and make me feel like a badass if I write that I'm a piece of shit thief on a public forum.
My mother didn't breast feed me as an infant, and I have no idea who my father is.
I do not have a job, but I still want things, so I contribute - along with all the other lowlives in the world who can't work for what they want - and drive the price of goods, insurance, prison meals and the tax-burden of public servants' wages even higher than it already is."
In summary:
You are a little cocksucking bastard child of a whore. Hope you're proud of yourself. Actually, I hope you get arrested.
Take a look at the Uber "career" of the last little fuck like you who thought he was something more than a steaming, thieving pile of crap:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/12341
http://www.ubersite.com/m/12552
=
http://www.ubersite.com/m/12847
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-09-28 13:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-28 13:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
not perfectly terrible (+1 because Iron Maiden rulez)
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-28 13:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I spent all weekend and yesterday sick in bed... I started feeling just a bit better today, so I decided to check uber... and this peice of crap is the first thing that my poor brain was forced to comprehend. Now I want to puke again. Thanks for nothing, fuckwad.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, you're pretty much a cunt.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no reason to ruin a solid -2
Submitted by skaville (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot to include your name and address so we could watch you cry on the evening news when you get arrested !
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:50:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
You, sir, are a twat of the highest order.
What he said.
-Davros
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You, sir, are a twat of the highest order.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucker. i stopped doing my german homework to read this. now i'll be late to class because i have to type this review and tell you how much you suck.
Stupid cunt. Die.
Submitted by tetrahydrocannabinol (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Slut
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAR HAR STOLEN PEENER
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get a job and pay for shit, fuckhead.
that's part of the reason why music in stores costs so much:
Assholes like you.
-2 die.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-09-28 12:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for wasting 2 minutes of my lunch break. It's my fault for continuing to read.