I need to create something (801 hits)
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Rating: 1.67 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2004-09-29 14:50:47 EDT
I wish I had some clay to mold into a... a... oh... well, mold into something. Even some silly putty would suffice. If I had mold or silly putty I'd most likely end up shaping it into a penis. I just know I would. A big penis.
Many times in my life have I become depressed over the fact that I can't paint. I love the paints. Mostly I just like mixing colors. I don't enjoy painting. I'm a terrible painter. I wish there was an artist who just needed me to mix colors. Of course, I'd have to choose the colors- it would not be satisfying to be TOLD which colors to mix.
Of course, there's the henna. I order it from the internet, mix it up, and draw dainty designs on my feet. The best part about henna is that it's like mud, and you have to leave it on your skin until it's had time to soak in and dye you. I love flexing my toes and watching the dried henna crack and flake off.
Another interesting thing to make are Ukrainian Eggs. It involves many jars full of dyes, bees wax, candles, a little stick object with a tiny copper bowl on the end, a pin, and me. I poke a hole in each end of the egg, and blow the innards out. It's quite difficult to do, try it sometime! Then I scoop a tiny bit of the bees wax into the copper bowl, and then I hold the it over the candle until the wax turns to liquid and starts seeping out of the pinhole at the bottom of the copper bowl. I quickly draw a design on the egg with the wax that's slowly trickling out, continually reheating the bowl to keep the wax running. Then I leave the egg in the yellow ink. Everything gets dyed yellow except for where I've drawn with the wax- that stays white. Then I dry the egg and draw on it more- to preserve some yellow- and then dip it in the green. Everything turns green except the parts covered with wax, they are either yellow or white... etc etc etc . The last color is black, obviously. I love the way the egg feels after I melt all the wax off, smooth and light, delicate... I love the smell of the beeswax. I love the eggs.
I also draw. I don't have the talent of drawing from my mind... I can't just think of an amazing thing and start drawing... BUT I am very good at drawing something I'm looking at. I love drawing because it's like meditation. I think of nothing, I don't obsess about how depressed I can be, I don't wonder about life, I don't ponder the mysteries of dog barks.... I just draw. I only draw with black ink or pencil... and I'm very particular about which kinds of pens or pencils to use. I will not draw with a untensil that is less than ideal.
I'm a photographer. Yes, professional. Well, wait... I WAS a photographer, but now I don't have the motivation to do that, so I'm taking a break. I'm a damn good photographer, too. Damn fucking good. I do people. I also photograph people. I absolutely have a gift for capturing what I see. I always hear people bitch about how great the sunset was, "but look at these pictures! They don't compare... it was so much nicer than it looks here!". That does not happen to me.
I bought an airbrush. I hate airbrushing.
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-29 21:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43597
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 21:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
in what way?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-09-29 21:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch out, Alain, Corinne's a temptress.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right, it's not so funny. But I'd fuck your brains out.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, she is.
I write a lot of stories from the male perspective, but I am a woman.
Submitted by Vanilla (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wait wait.... corn nugget is a woman???
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To clairify... what I said was a mock of ashlee's comment on that other post:
remember?
*******
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:37:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
You know, Caulaincourt, when you first came to uber, I didn't think of you much at all. Then, when your name was mentioned, I thought of one of those pompous self-involved jackasses. After that, it was "Hey, this guy's not exactly stupid." Then when you quit fucking with me and I started to look at you without the personal bias, it was more along the lines of "Wow, he's actually kind of smart. Really smart, in fact." Now, it's what, six months later, and the thought that fights its way to the front of the line after all this time is "That guy should fuck my brains out."
*****
So it was a joke.
Now it's not so funny since I had to explain myself.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-29 19:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul, you're insane. I was fucking with you.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 19:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO, it's not a date. I just made an obvious evasive response because I didn't feel like explaining myself, and I don't have to. Yeah, now you annoy me.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-29 19:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul- ohhh is it a DATE?! You know, when I first met you blah blah blah blah blah but now I want you to fuck my brains out!
Donkey- We can have sex just for practice? All true artists have to practice!
Fetish- It's not improved... I just post random stupid things sometimes, not for ratings or for anything other than my own personal enjoyment. Then other times I just need to WRITE (like today) and I post something like this. Then sometimes (rarely, I admit) I actually put thought into what I'm posting. But thanks for the compliment... ;)
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-29 19:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Much improved.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should create babies. I'd help, but video games made me steril.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha ok, I'll explain you some other day and some other place
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow- Caul... that cleared things up.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
errr, I don't know...I guess you just do. Not in a whole negative way though.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do I annoy you? haha
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
both! I feel like a woman :(
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-29 14:56:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I could never negatively rate a fellow photographer, or a woman for that matter. You're just so damn sexy!
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-2 because I can!
+2 because you said "If I had mold or silly putty I'd most likely end up shaping it into a penis. I just know I would. A big penis."
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy- don't think I didn't consider the poop idea. Not SERIOUSLY consider it, but when I was trying to think of something moldable... it did enter my mind.
Herpes- hello from michigan. ha ha idaho. gay.
Caul- Do you love me or do I annoy you? Pick one!
and for the record, those aren't my feet. I don't have a picture of my feet. My feet are awesome though.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 i have silly putty in my hand right now
-1 gross feet
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice feet.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool eggs
what?
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for creative talent.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go henna woo
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Greetings from Idaho.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You also used the word 'blow.' I need a cold shower.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait. You didn't use the word 'hands.' I just imagined hands. Handling a penis. A big penis. That the penis looked like mine was probably just a coincidence. I need a cigarette.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, you're probably really talented and all, but the words 'hands' and 'big penis' keep echoing in my mind. I gotta go walk this off.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Silly Putty.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's create babies together
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Use your own poop.
It's free, and I'm guessing, readily available.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-09-29 14:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could never negatively rate a fellow photographer, or a woman for that matter. You're just so damn sexy!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-29 14:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love you