Archie Bunker was a God (788 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Untruth
Rating: 1.12 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2004-09-29 14:56:33 EDT
So I was listening to Tool the other night and writing something violent and a friend says "Bro. Look at all the anger you're surrounding yourself with. That shit can't be healthy"
Huh?
Anger not healthy?
Why is it that some people are completely incapable of understanding that sometimes everything in life is just a steaming wonderland of shit?
It's true.
If you're one of those people who coasts over the speed bumps of life with an all day lollipop stuck up your ass and singing "Don't worry, be happy" you can stop reading right now.
I fucking hate you.
If you're like me and are incapable of hiding it when you feel like everything sucks then read on.
I fucking hate you too, but I don't want to kill you like I do the happy people.
A few words of wisdom:
"Some people should die. That's just unconscious knowledge"
- Perry Farrel -Jane's Addiction (Pigs in Zen)
"I'm going to abuse your cat with a Zamboni"
- Snark (I think)
Anger is good. Anger is therapeutic. When used constructively, (preferably on strangers) it can be instrumental in ridding you of the demons that plague you.
You know the ones I'm talking about. They live in your toaster.
If you're nodding you head right now and thinking "This guy understands!" your crazy.
Die.
For the handful of you that are left.
Die.
Where was I?
Oh yeah anger... I like it. The poet (fag!) Dylan Thomas knew about it too and wrote: "Rage, Rage against the dying of the light"
He wrote those words and then he died (good boy). Actually as poems go, that one isn't too bad. It's one of the few that embrace anger. Something which too many of us are afraid to do. Maybe that's why Rock Music has been with us for so long. It's one of the few mediums that use anger as a constant source of inspiration. The heavier the rock the more anger it seems to have.
That's why people who listen to Country scare me. Those poor fuckers have no outlet. Even angry country songs have that ball shrinking twangy guitar thing happening, or even worse (the next worse instrument to the accordion), a fiddle.
What the fuck is that?
How many rock bands have you seen trash their set after a concert. They use their guitars like clubs and beat the living shit out of every last instrument on the stage and then they go home and kiss their loved ones.
Ok they go get drunk trash their hotel rooms and sleep with groupies but it's the same thing. Someone's getting some lovin.
You ever see a band of fiddlers go ape shit on stage?
Me either but I'm here to tell you I'd pay real money to see that shit.
Maybe the whole Country Music thing is the reason the state of Texas has more guns per capita than any other.
OK, I made that up. I don't know for sure.
I guess what I'm trying to say about Country is that big ass belt buckles scare me. The belt buckles and hats are a prime example of pent up rage... or small penises... or both.
Cowboys need to die. Except Clint Eastwood. He was pissed off in every western he ever did.
God Bless Clint.
"So what? You're always pissed off?"
No asshole! I'm seldom pissed off. I'm just saying I have a right to be.
"Happy People are bad?"
No asshole! Not if they have a reason... scratch that... yes they're bad... die!
"You fucking suck, this post was a waste of my time. -2 Die!"
Beautiful! Let that anger out! You'll thank me in the long run and so will your un-murdered co-workers.
"I'm gonna abuse your cat with a Zamboni!"
I love you. Marry me.
"So what's the point? If everything sucks then why go on?"
God damn, I'm glad you asked.
You go on because sometimes everything just fucking rocks! Sometimes God himself reaches down and gives you a pat on the head and says "Snark my friend, this Bud's for you"
I don't drink Bud but I bet it would be pretty damned good if God gave it to me, and also if he ever said that I'd laugh my ass off all the way to Hell.
Where was I?
Oh yeah happiness... I like it. Too bad it's such an illusive bitch.
Maybe it's my attitude.
Whatever.
Here are some things that are perfect (in no specific order):
Cornell with most of Rage.
Brosnan as Bond.
Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.
My Mom's Lasagna.
Sex with someone you love.
Sex with someone you don't love.
World Cup Hockey. (Fuck the NHL this year)
"Stingray Shuffle" by Tim Dorsey.
Mexican Stand-offs.
Mexican Stand-offs involving pissed off Fiddlers.
Clutch in concert. (and too many other bands to name here)
Beer (You pick the brand)
Penis Envy - AHAHAAHA fuck you
A bunch of other stuff I would name if I wasn't in a bad mood.
So what's the point to this post? What's the conclusion, the moral, the dénouement?
There isn't one. I guess I should have waited till Thursday.
Smile. Life is grand.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2004-11-29 21:38:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-17 13:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sis <sismo12345.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-12 13:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Snarky , Snarky, Snarky. Hey fuck you I'm dutch( remember you said were cheap). If anyone should die it should be everyone else because they fucking suck and the Dutch rule. Hey if I could play the violin i would totally go apeshit and destroy it. Trust me. Your fan or friend Sis.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-30 19:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh Jesus.
I just fell in love and sprained my Peener at the same time.
I have swapped my -2 jubilation for an all encompassing infatuation with a woman with the Devil's hair color and matching writing skills.
One day in an alternate universe, where the Dutch don't exist (But Amsterdam still does), maybe we'll meet and share the kind of adventures stories are written about.
Not the kind anyone could read... especially not to children, or old folks, or well the list gets kind of long, but stories never-the-less.
Now if you'll excuse me I need a cigarrette and a splint.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-09-30 18:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, you asshole. Yes, you. You with your cynicism and rage and anger. You with your lack of love for the world and everything wonderful in it.
Have you embraced Jesus yet? Have you? If you had then you'd know what a GIFT the world is and about all the JOY and LOVE that exists for God's FAITHFUL. Stop listening to the MUSIC OF SATAN and watch moe Tv evangelists. Give money to the homeless. Fuck ugly people. Love in the way of the LORD and you shall be rewarded. Hug children. Lots of children. Hug them.. touch them. Watch their little faces light up when they feel your love. Watch the way their eyes widen in surprise and growing pleasure when you...
Ahem.
God. Learn to live life in the Lord and be redeemed.
(Hey, Snark - I have a lubed up crucifix, handcuffs, and a catholic schoolgirl uniform. Wanna play Exorcist with me?)
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe that's just me.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither is drinking youself to oblivion then spinning in a circle three times and showing your Peener to the first person you see, but we all do it.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-09-30 14:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2
Listening to Tool is not healthy.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-30 14:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YES!!!
Submitted by Tickle (user info) at 2004-09-30 14:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Die.
Submitted by Mystic at 2004-09-30 00:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops .. the last comment was for Booga Booga .. have a guest that just came over and distracted me.
Submitted by Mystic at 2004-09-30 00:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Been There!
I've actually been followed .. super intense feeling (in a bad way) .. I remembered a friend, who's had a lot of strange experiences in their life had told me to turn around and tell "it" to go away and "it has to go" .. well I did and "it" left.
I've have had other experiences that were actually non-threatening .. I wonder why the face is always hidden?
Sorry to hear about your Dad! When you think of him picture him surround by green light .. it is supposed to be a healing.
Remember you can be a skeptic and still be open to possibilities!
Submitted by mystic at 2004-09-30 00:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let it out!
Glad the full moon/beginning of fall didn't take you over the edge!
Now go do one of the things on your "perfect" list or something silly.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-09-29 22:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Free the beast!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whooooooa.
Submitted by HelloMello (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cuz if they do.
I'm There!
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-09-29 18:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:03:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
You should see Prodigy in concert...
----
does prodigy have amp-bashing, stage-trashing fiddlers?
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boy.
Submitted by deadSurfer (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post might actually get a positive rating.
I was kinda hoping people would take the bullshit seriously. I shoulda known most would see through the bullshit.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You ever see a band of fiddlers go ape shit on stage?
This image shall haunt me.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
Submitted by Xena (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love a good rant! especially coming from you...LMAO
the title alone deserved the +10
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cigar,
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Let it out brotha.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
FUCK YOU HIPPY!!!.
(thanks)
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cash's stuff was angry but the music wasn't.
Do not go gentle was not about anger but it can be interpretted that way.
Rage = angry word.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should see Prodigy in concert...
Do Not Go Gentle wasn't about anger.
Angry country music = Johnny Cash aka God.