Drink Piss or Eat Shit? (3755 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.11 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chinaman (View user info) at 2004-09-29 15:51:14 EDT
I was thinking while I was on the toilet the other day about some of those gross shit-pics I've seen on the Internet. It smells bad enough--how are there people that can override the gag reflex and eat it? Ugh, not my kind of porn. Don't ask me how this emerged from my memory banks, just go along with it.
That reminded me of a story my sister's ex-husband once told me about his best friend (we'll call him Pedro). In Ecuador, you had to serve in the army once you turned 18 or so (not sure if it's still true). Among the many duties required of the soldiers, there was a perpetual rotation of shifts to guard the camp. I don't remember the details, but basically you and a partner just had to stand still for 8 or 10 hours or something, not moving until the next shift comes to relieve you of your post. Speaking of relief...
Aside from the sheer boredom of the job, the worst aspect was that you were not even allowed to go take a shit in a nearby bush or anything. You just had to hold it in. For hours. And hours.
Apparently, one guy was overcome by his intestinal pressure and left a nice, big turd on the ground. When one of the superior officers got word of this, he called all the men together and began interrogating. When no one was willing to fess up to the deed, he came up with a sickening solution: each soldier had to put some of the shit in their mouths, one at at a time.
Naturally, Pedro felt his stomach churn as his turn came up. As he swatted some of the flies away, he came up with a thought: "I'll just hold my breath when I put it in my mouth and spit it out. No biggy..." The superior officer watched as Pedro dipped his finger in, lifted out a small chunk, and put it in his mouth. Pedro gave him a nod, then began walking away. Superior officer was having none of it:
"Stop!" Pedro stopped.
"Show me your tongue." Pedro stuck out his slimy, shitty tongue.
"Okay. Now swallow it." Pedro let out some tears. Slowly he gathered the urge, held his breath, and swallowed the shitty shit.
"Open your mouth." Pedro opened.
"Good."
I wish I could classify this as an exaggerated shennanigan, but alas, this story is 100% true. Quite frankly, I don't see why anyone would make this up. Regardless, when I first heard this story, I got to thinking, if I had a gun to my head (which was not far from the truth in this story), would I eat the shit? Or, would I, if it were available, opt for a cup'o'piss? Probably less aftertaste and you can chug it quickly and pretend it's hot cider or something.
Yeah, I'd probably pick the piss, but now I pose the question to you: would you rather drink piss or eat shit?
I think the imagery in this post satisfies any need for an attached pic.
User Reviews
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-09-08 16:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:43:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
would you rather funnel vomit or take a shot of diarhea?
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What kind of diarrhea? Nutty? Cabbage-induced? Mexican? Can I get a lime with it?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-09-08 15:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-08 14:13:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
*barfs*
.......
*dry heaves*
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HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-08 15:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:43:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
would you rather funnel vomit or take a shot of diarhea?
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that is just plain wrong
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-08 14:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*barfs*
.......
*dry heaves*
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-12-07 18:20:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-10-04 11:05:55 (#)
Ranking: 1
The piss. No debate about it, I'd choose the piss. Sure, it has traces of ammonia, but it's a lot better than the many kinds of illnesses you can contract from eating shit. Pedro should've taken some kind of action against the motherfuckers for putting his health at risk.
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Did you not notice this is ecuador? They don't give a shit.
I'd go for piss. It also depends on how much, too. A grainule of shit, or a gallon of piss? A gram of shit, or a hogshead of piss?
Piss - $1
Shid - $1,000
Which would you do?
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-04 19:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
urine
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-10-04 11:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The piss. No debate about it, I'd choose the piss. Sure, it has traces of ammonia, but it's a lot better than the many kinds of illnesses you can contract from eating shit. Pedro should've taken some kind of action against the motherfuckers for putting his health at risk.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-10-03 22:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drink piss.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-10-03 22:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
why don't you just shut the fuck up, hmmm?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-10-01 10:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me neither!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-10-01 00:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe you actually got people to answer that.
Mad props!
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pay-dro! Pay-dro! Pay-dro!
Whose your daddy?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-29 19:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Perfect place to whore this post: http://www.ubersite.com/m/46365
Submitted by Martyn_Steiner (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Piss. You might think differently once you've read this;
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44800
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-09-29 17:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
would you rather funnel vomit or take a shot of diarhea?
Submitted by Jogging_Monkey (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but remeber the piss snow cone in JAckass.... and the vomit afterwards and the swift kick in the balls as he was drinking the piss.... AHAHAHHAHAH who cares where i was goin with that ... that's GOLD yeah piss all the way
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does the shit have bits of peanuts and corn? That would be the clincher.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Went to the Steve-O show this weekend... watched him balance a butcher knife on his nose, cut his tongue open with broken glass, staple bras and panties to himself, convince two guys to get up on stage and get kicked (hard)in the balls, then... some random dude drank a fresh steaming cup of Steve-O's piss. Yummy.
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-09-29 16:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Actually, piss isn't "sterile". However, compared too ALL other bodily fluids, it is relatively sterile. It does contain small amounts of bacteria, and as it is leaving the body, it picks up small traces of bacteria from your skin. Don't ask me how I know this.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drinking urine is completely safe, and is taught as a survival tactic in many places. Urine is actually sterile.
Doesn't mean it's something anyone would WANT to do, but I think you know my answer.
Submitted by queensowntalia (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm going to have nightmares after reading this.
No question about which id choose tho.. Urine is something like 98% water.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-09-29 15:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The piss, totally.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-29 15:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'd rather drink piss, shit is just RANK.