My hair rules the world. (1019 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.03 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Seralena (View user info) at 2004-09-29 20:22:45 EDT
My hair is going to take over the world.
You may think I'm joking, but you've never seen my hair. Last week, my rugby team had a theme "Crazy Hair Day". All I did was leave my hair down and brush it, and I won. All the other girls spent upwards of a half hour working on their hair. I brushed mine.
Since I have no pictures of this, I'll just describe it. My hair is worse than the girl in the Harry Potter movies. And the girl in the Princess Diaries movie. They spent hours making those people's hair look that bad. Mine just does it naturally. If I put some hair gel in it, it stays curly, but it's still huge. If I put in a pony tail or brush it, however, it becomes a disturbingly huge cloud of frizz.
My hair routinely attacks people. At softball and rugby games, I put my hair up, and large clumps of it fly at people. In one day, it flew in my boyfriend's face more than ten times. He claimed it was going to fight him for control of the world. It stabs ME in the eye every two or three minutes.
I hate shampoo commercials. No hair product will ever take care of this mess. People with straight hair just don't understand. How many of you have ever been stabbed by your hair?
It's taking over everyone around me, attacking any possible competitors for world domination. I'm convinced that if I went to the presidential debates tonight, my hair could take out both W and Kerry in one fell swoop. I could take care of all of America's problems if I introduced my hair to Ralph Nader as well. I love my hair.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-28 16:51:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-12-02 17:01:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My hair was still wet from all the junk I had to put in it to keep it from being frizzy. It's not greasy, just wet. And it's not dandruff, it's where the light reflected funny. My dandruff is TOTALLY not that obvious!
Submitted by houseman (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:52:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your hair looks greasy and is that dandruff or is it snowing?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53257
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't help you with this one. I haven't found the secret serum yet.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha, I wish, Loren.
College student. My checking account is currently below $2000, so I don't think that'll be happening for a couple years yet.
Thanks for the advice though! Did it work well, and did it damage your hair at all?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-12-02 16:39:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was the same way. I just recently took care of it though, with an extremely costly Japenese TG permanent straightening procedure. I highly recommend it if you can afford the $400-$800 it'll set you back.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GO TRIFECTA FROM HECK!!!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:21:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I just meant from now on. Don't worry. I wouldn't require you to go back. And you don't have to +2 anything that's absolute shit, either. I just want to be a part of a trifecta from heck.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:19:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds good to me, but let me see how many posts you have, first. I'm not gratuitous, I actually read the posts first. So if you have accumulated 20 or more posts, I'm not doing all of them.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:15:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's you, me, and kre8rix form the trifecta from heck. We shall gratuitiously +2 each other's posts, and generally promote the other two. It'll be fun!
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, give me until Wednesday, because I don't see my boyfriend till I go home for Thanksgiving. Then my hair will bitchslap yours into submission!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, it's on, bitch.
On like Donkey Kong.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-22 22:54:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have to get up at 6:00 tommorow and its all your fault
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-11-22 22:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/46622
Sorry, I win. Don't wory, with hard work you might make it up to my level. Some day.
See? your stuff is now less ignored.
Submitted by Quagmire (user info) at 2004-10-23 12:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is this funny?
Submitted by convicted_child_rapist (user info) at 2004-10-12 20:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your hair is going to rule? Should've paid more attention during Government.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-30 22:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-30 22:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Think better of me, DanielH. I figured that out a long time ago! Very useful, too.
And I hope my hair isn't Republican. I think it would have killed me a long time ago if it was, considering how many times I've insulted Dubbya.
I tried to count how many times he said "nucular" and "waddn't" during that debate, but I lost track somewhere around ten.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2004-09-30 02:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have an ex-girlfriend who used to whip me with her hair, and I oft got poked in the eye. It was straight and long, hence a useful thing for shaking your head like a spaz and whipping guys. Try it.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-09-30 02:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet your hair is going to vote for Dubya.
-2 because your hair is a republican. HAR HAR PEENER?!!1@?!1
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-29 21:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey! When did I log out??? I should pay more attention...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-29 21:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's times like these that make me wish I'd invested in a digital camera. Oh wait, no it doesn't. Like I need another drain on the $600 in my checking account.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-29 21:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm... I can't rate this unless I actually SEE the hair.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-29 21:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tlovess- thank you, I love that site already. Problem is, I'm too lazy for deep conditioning/working with my hair. Wash. Mousse. Let it dry. I should get more interested in it.
And yes, the girl's rugby team has plenty of Toms on it. With curly/frizzy hair.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-29 21:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tom, the friendly cyber dork.
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom who?
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:46:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
TOM IS THIS YOU?!
Yes. I play Rugby.
Submitted by tlovess (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
www.ouidad.com. I love it. My fiance bitches less. Not really, but try it.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TOM IS THIS YOU?!
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
waaaaaa
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-29 20:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What's the story with your beave hair, or lackthereof?
It would HAVE to be more interesting than this mindless drivel.