where does it come from? (707 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: blog
Rating: 1.62 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2004-09-30 11:20:46 EDT
When I woke up I was standing in my living room.
Shaking.
Saying, "oh god get out get out get out oh god oh my god go go go"...
It took me a second to figure out what was going on, it took a few more seconds for the terror to fade.
I couldn't stop shaking. I wasn't shivering like I was cold- I was having full-on muscle spasms.
My biggest fear is insanity. I'm acutely aware of the fine line between SANE and NUTTY. On that note, I'm also aware of where I stand in relation to this line... I poke at the insane side every now and then.
Consiously, I make decisions and do things that are not "normal". I know they aren't normal, and I don't even try to explain myself. I'll move my couch out onto the patio because I want to. I'll sleep in my work clothes once in a while, I find it oddly satisfying. I'm very impulsive and not very inhibited, and it makes me seem eccentric.
These things don't worry me.
What worries me are the subconsious things I do. The things that I have no control over. Things like waking up in the middle of my living room. I have paranoia sometimes. I'm sure everyone hates me, or they are plotting against me... Then I realize that I'm thinking "crazy", and I consiously stop myself from being paranoid- but it still lingers in my head.
I know everyone has their insecurities. Everyone gets paranoid. Everyone has mood swings. Everyone gets lost in their own thoughts. I can't decide if I'm overly sensitive about this issue, or if I'm really crazy.
User Reviews
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-04 15:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-30 12:11:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
ya know, just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-04 15:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-09-30 12:26:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
insanity and genius are so closely related that it's hard to tell a difference
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Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-30 22:08:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki... that's what I keep telling myself!
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Yuck! That annoyed me. Everybody has mental issues. How intense they are and how you control them will determine if you are 'normal' or not. It has nothing to do with genius so don't go think you're special or more intelligent okay honey? I still love you though.
+0 because I'm very paranoid and it can be a pain in the ass.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-30 22:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki... that's what I keep telling myself!
Wishofhope- I find that the older I get the more insane I tend to act. I hope this is only because I'm more secure with myself and therefore more apt to do "what I want" insted of "the right thing".
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-09-30 21:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by WishOfHope <WishOfHope.at.aol.com> at 2004-09-30 16:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had a friend who did crazy things, maybe sometimes I even supported the habit. Tried to be there for him, accepted phone calls at all hours in the night whenever he needed me. That was in high school. After graduation, I didn't hear much from him anymore... you know how things are. But he's doing really well for himself, moved away and started a new career, did less drugs and started to have less psychotic episodes. Every once in a while we'll get together and he'll tell me stories both good and a little nutty, he's fine, there's nothing wrong with him though. Many of us go through periods where we believe something is wrong with us... for the longest time I "knew" I was going to give myself split-personalities because of the conversations I would have in my mind. Doesn't happen as much as it used to, we grow up and we become less subject to psychotic behavior. That or we just don't notice it anymore because we've become too comfortable with it. My advice: keep yourself busy, tell yourself you're sane, have at least one person you can turn to and know that they'll never be "out to get you", and all will fall happily ever after. Good luck.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-09-30 12:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-09-30 12:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
insanity and genius are so closely related that it's hard to tell a difference
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-09-30 12:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ya know, just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-30 12:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cake knows all about being paranoid.
"There's no need to ask directions
If you ever lose your mind
We're behind you
We're behind you
And let us please remind you
We can send a car to find you
If you ever lose your way"
-Comfort Eagle
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-09-30 12:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nugget, I know where you live. Actually, I'm watching you right now.
Yer so purty... can I touch you? Just once?
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"You can't blame paranoids. If everyone hated you, you'd be paranoid too!"
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-09-30 11:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
crazy uh-oh I'm scared
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-30 11:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-09-30 11:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Being insane is fun.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-09-30 11:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
normal people aren't like that. you're insane.
and so am i.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-30 11:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that submitting a half-post is a symptom of insanity.
Remember, a crazy person never admits it.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-09-30 11:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's ok, Corn, it really is.
Everyone still loves you.
Just post the rest tomorrow...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-30 11:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God damn me.
I typed this out, changed the title, and was going to change around the whole post, and I HIT ENTER.
I HIT ENTER AND I DIDN"T MEAN TO!
Now I've done it.
God damn it.
GOD DAMN.
Well, in any event, I was going to delve into the history behind insanity. As far as, "personal history". But now you all get this shit ass raw post and I'm annoyed.
good day.