11:15, restate my assumptions: 1. Mathematics is the language of nature. (1187 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.98 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (View user info) at 2004-09-30 15:28:34 EDT
"11:15, restate my assumptions: 1. Mathematics is the language of nature. 2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. 3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature." - Pi, the Movie
So, I figured that these hurricanes definitely follow a pattern more closely tied to humanity than pure weather anomalies, and I'm not talkin' global warming, ice-cap melting, etc. That's all stuff that PBS has invented to brainwash you into not buying Ford Excursions.
So, here's was I figured: I could take something seemingly as random as hurricane damage, and find a mathematical pattern in it. Here are my step by step instructions:
1.) Write out each hurricane name (i.e. C H A R L E Y)
2.) Find the corresponding Scrabble letter score for each letter (no bonuses)
3.) Throw away the maximum from each name (i.e. V = 8, in Ivan)
4.) Take the sum of the remaining letters
5.) Take the average of all letters including the sum found in step 4.
6.) Square step 4.
7.) Multiply steps 5 and 6 to get your hurricane damage factor.
8.) Graph step 7
You'll see with remarkable accuracy that this system predicts Ivan (which I doubled because it hit twice...something my system can't predict), Frances, and Charley all causing major damage. Danielle was also predicted to be a huge badass, but, hey, it's not perfect! Let's all hope that Matthew doesn't do as well as predicted, although looking at it now, maybe I need some sort of correction for number of letters.
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-01 13:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Makes perfect sense!
Submitted by dinnerkraft (user info) at 2004-10-01 07:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love illogical mathemathics!
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-09-30 23:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 'cos it looks like hurricane Matthew did most damage.
A victory for Matthews everywhere.
*Runs around breaking stuff*
Submitted by IamNotTheWorldTradeCenter (user info) at 2004-09-30 17:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Pi! I hadn't seen that movie since it came out before last night. i was in college when it came out, it made so much more sense when i was knee-deep in calculus and physics. i'm a frickin well paid moron now.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-30 16:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was amuzing! I used to do random shit like this till I started being chased around by Jews because of it.
BTW: Pi is an AWESOME movie!
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-09-30 16:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:36:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people don't have a sense of humor.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-09-30 16:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I deal with those damn charts every single day!
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-09-30 16:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Based on the obviously amazing accuracy of this system, your next
project will be to predict earthquake locations and sizes using
an old 'Risk' board game.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-09-30 16:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait...you're a mechanical engineer and you're spending your time at work on shit like this??
awesome??
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-09-30 16:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel justified in giving this another +2 to counter some of those lame -2s from before...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...say it ain't SO...
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because people are -2ing you for being wrong.
Psst, fellas, I don't think he's being serious...
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:36:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people don't have a sense of humor.
---------------------------------------
for real...how could people take this shit seriously?
AwesomeJohnson - hilarious as always...keep up the good work.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maths post, even if poorly done = +2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bob- It IS rather unbelieveable that people don't understand the greatness, and importance of this 100% accurate mathematical equation.
This is facts, kids...Not some wildassed hyperbole.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
uhhhh
Jeanne
Proves your theory
Incorrect
You have been RATED
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people don't have a sense of humor.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry, seems like you massaged some numbers to get the answer you wanted. not anything related to a pattern at all.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
horrible
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really didn't read all of this- after all, who really gives a shit- but I find this to be extremely accurate and helpful when predicting the impact, both economically and emotionally, of these major storm catastrophies.
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, because you are using names of the hurricanes as well as the storms themselves to determine whether or not they will be damaging.