Who Wants Sex with the Saucer Nazis? (548 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.5 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sekeeth <sdsink.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-10-04 19:27:22 EDT
Saucer Nazi Backstory : http://www.ubersite.com/m/46807
First off, I need to appologize for not ending my last post. I was attacked abducted mid sentence by the Saucer Nazis. I tried to explain to them, as they were dragging me away from my computer, that what I was doing was quite important. Then I remembered that what I was doing was writing a post about them, so I decided to leave well enough alone and not drawn attention to it.
The three Saucer Nazis pulled me out of my office, down the hallway, to my living room. They then proceded to rough me up a bit. Well, more than a bit. They kicked my ass. But there were also three of them and I still managed to do a fair amount of damage. I gave one of them a nice broken nose and fish-hooked another. It was at this point that they had had enough and tazered me.
They dragged me out of my house and into a waiting sedan. We drove for what seemed like 15 minutes and stopped in an open field. They pulled me from the car, pushed me in front of them, and proceded to march me into the field. After we walked for a bit, the head Saucer Nazi told me to stop. He produced a small, black object from his jacket. I thought they were going to put a bullet in my head so I started to beg. The Saucer Nazi just laughed, pointed the object at me, and pressed a button.
I flinched, then nothing. I was okay. I opened my eyes to see the Saucer Nazis looking past me. I looked over my shoulders at the most amazing thing I had ever seen. An actual saucer!! The lead Saucer Nazi then walked past me up to the saucer and pressed another button on his black box, producing a flight of stairs out the side of the saucer.
The two Nazis that were still behind me pushed me towards the ship and up into it. There to greet me was a Colonel Klink looking fellow. He even had a monacle. "Greetings," looking at my newly-aquired bruises, "I trust my officers were not too rough with you?" I stated I was fine, but I didn't think it necessary to abduct me. "Oh? I think it was. You know too much, and you even spotted one of our agents the other day."
At this point in time I'd like to inform you how to spot a Saucer Nazi. Even while wearing normal clothing, they still keep their knee-high boots on. And they tuck their pants into them. So the spotting isn't very difficult. That, and they all walk in that same marching, high-stepping gate that the Nazi soldiers did. So if you see anyone marching in knee-high boots with the pants tucked in to them, put even money that they are a Saucer Nazi.
"But there is another point in us bringing you abord, Sekeeth." Oh shit, he knew my Ubername. "You are part of an online community that spans worldwide. You have access to people all over the world, and can communicate with them. Over the past couple of years, we've developed a problem. Our genepool is only so big." I looked around the room and noted that most of the Nazis indeed had a certain Amish quality about them. I bet some of them even knew how to play the banjo now.
"I, as head of the North Pole Saucer Nazi community, am asking that you recruit other people from your online community to interbreed with us. We need additions to our gene pool. They will not come to harm, nor will we need to abduct them. We will send a representative to each of their houses to procreate." I started to explain that I doubted that many would be interested, but he cut me off. "Come now, Sekeeth, the majority of Uber users are computer geeks that have never see the private parts of a woman. So when the offer of procreation is made, I highly doubt that many of them would say no."
I couldn't argue with facts.
I was then released off of their ship and am now at home resting and healing my bruises. I promised Colonel Klink that I would petition the Ubercommunity for volunteers to have sex with the Saucer Nazis. I'm not expecting many to step forward, but I'm scared for my life if I don't at least post the question. The Saucer Nazis said they would be keeping in touch with me, and I am being watched. The boots are hard to miss.
User Reviews
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-04 23:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am so drunk right now. I am not stupid enough to post, though. +2!
Submitted by The_T_Man (user info) at 2004-10-04 22:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the title.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-10-04 21:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Montu-Sekhmet (user info) at 2004-10-04 21:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nazis made many traps in thier day
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2004-10-04 20:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fliggidy merbit!
Jer vun sine ker flib habby derbil. Vlim lippersniff herby-dobb, cum flibber sex moo.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-04 20:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BahWoooshh!