Hand-job from a Malaysian Lesbian (NSFW) (2112 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.8 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FLAK <yo yo mama> (View user info) at 2004-10-05 15:55:13 EDT
It was a normal Friday night is the college town where I reside. My friend Scott and I were to meet the usual crowd at the usual watering hole for drinks and general debauchery. We arrived to find the bar had met its fire-code limit resulting in a long line of frat-boys and their respective females waiting in one-in-one-out limbo. Being that we are what you might call "regulars" with the ability to consume copious amounts of whatever poison we might be presented with, Scott and I are summoned to the door by one of our bouncer friends who promptly slaps on our wrist bands and hands us a couple of Jack and Cokes (much to the auditory chagrin of the waiting hoards).
Needless to say, this night started off well. Marching into the bar like VIPs and then drinking bourbon on the tab of a generous employee. Oh what fun!
After a couple of hours drowning our sorrows amidst throngs of scantily clad college coeds and various other drunken folks, we headed out into the night. I was driving, Scott was holding down the shotgun position and Cori, Scott's female friend, was in the back seat. I call Cori a female friend because Scott swears she is not a girlfriend although they are together nearly everyday and every night.
We have to stop by Cori's place on our way out to some after-bar partying.
Cori hops out and then quickly back in after taking care of what every sort of woman type thing it was that took us to her place in the first place, but before we could depart, she was hollering out the window to a pedestrian.
"Hey, I know you. You're my neighbor. Howdy neighbor!" yelled Cori with drunken fervor. "It's my lesbian neighbor," Cori whispered to us.
A diminutive, short-haired, Asian female approached my Jeep. She removed her headphones, smiling. "Hello," she says leaning in the driver side window.
"We met at Steve's party, didn't we?" asked Cori.
"Yes, I believe so," says the lesbian, "You guys have been out partying, no?"
"Ya," I say.
"My girlfriend is in Chicago so I am out partying too," says the lesbian.
"So, you're a lesbian. How's that working out for you?" I ask.
"It is very nice for me," says the lesbian.
"Where are you from?" I ask, "I hear your accent."
"I am from Malaysia. I am a student," replied the lesbian.
Now I must break from this narrative to point out a strange phenomenon that will fuel the remainder of this story. It seems that as of late I have met quite a few lesbians. I can't really say why. Perhaps after nine long torturous years of relatively home-bound marriage the world has changed. Perhaps there are simply more lesbians now or perhaps lesbians are just more visible. I don't know, but what I do know is that I have met quite a few lesbians of the past few months. Growing almost organically from the cross-sexual interpersonal contact between hetero-me and various lesbians is a line of off color questions about the sexual urges and choices of the lesbian. I almost always find out some sort of juicy hidden fact or secret sexual desire and that is always great fun. This situation turned out to be no exception.
"So, have you ever had dick," I ask, following the usual line of Flak v. Lesbian conversation.
"Yes," says the lesbian, half giggling.
"So, did you like it?" I ask.
"Yes, it was very good," says the lesbian.
"Why did you quit?" I ask.
"I don't know. I am confused about my sexuality. My girlfriend is very nice. Very nice," says the lesbian.
"So, you still like dick?" I ask.
"I am not so sure but let me see," says the lesbian and with one fell swoop she reaches in the window, undoing my pants, and with her tiny Malaysian lesbian hand begins massaging my cock.
"So you do like dick?" I say.
By this point Cori is convulsing in my back seat with a mixture of laughter, screaming, and various oh no's and oh my god's.
"I'm not sure yet," says the lesbian.
"She definitely likes dick," says Scott, careful to avert his homophobic eyes from my exposed junk.
"Oh, it is getting bigger in my hand," announces the lesbian, grinning a devilish Malaysian grin.
"That's what dicks do when you rub them," I respond.
"Suck it. Come on... suck it. Just put your mouth around it and suck it," coaches Scott in true porn director fashion.
At this point my mind begins to imagine why this young Malaysian college student might be questioning her sexuality. Could it be that she escaped some disease ridden Malaysian whorehouse after being abused by countless middle aged men. What sort of third-world dick had shared fluid with this little lap-licking vixen? Was this a mouth that I wanted slopping up my precious member? I think not.
"Get in this car and come party with us," demanded Scott.
"I do not have my car. How will I get home?" Says the lesbian.
"We'll bring you home," says Scott, "come on and get in."
"I think I should go," says the lesbian, all the while massaging my shaft like a pro.
"Don't go," says Scott, "Just suck it!"
"I am going home now," says the lesbian who at once seemed a bit frightened and probably rightfully so.
"Thanks for the hand-job," I say.
"You will have to meet my girlfriend sometime," says the lesbian.
"Can I do you both?" I ask.
"Yes, but not at the same time," says the lesbian.
"Why not?" I ask
"Ya, why not?" demands Scott.
"We don't like that," said the lesbian.
And with that she waved goodbye and headed toward her apartment. She disappeared into the night with the same speed and cunning that had accompanied her molestation of my genitals. I zipped my pants, careful to avoid any obstacles as we all erupted in an earthshaking uproar of laughter. We sat there in the driveway laughing and screaming for the next ten minutes as I collected myself for the ride home.
This was without a doubt one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me.
User Reviews
Submitted by EvrenWasHere (user info) at 2004-10-11 19:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NSFW=Not safe for work. I don't know about that other one.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2004-10-06 19:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What exactly does NSFW stand for? It's something of a disclaimer, I figure, but what does it stand for? And that other one, JTLCH?
Good story.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-10-05 19:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
<Breathes>
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-10-05 19:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-05 19:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHHhhahahaha
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-10-05 17:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
She-Tranigans
Sure it wasnt a tranny?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-05 16:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no more +2s until i see photographic evidence.
Submitted by MrRottenTreats (user info) at 2004-10-05 16:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha LMAO ROLF oMG!!! 111
Funny shit man, good story!
Submitted by sjmanikt (user info) at 2004-10-05 16:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
was she hot? inquiring minds want to know.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-10-05 16:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story...you should continue to try to get them to both do you at the same time.