The Perfect Day Part 1/2 (532 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.5 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chuck (View user info) at 2004-10-05 21:59:54 EDT
NOTE: This is a true story. It happened on May 8th of this year. The first part is going by what I was told when I arrived. Part 2 shall be posted when I get the time to write it over the next couple days.
Her day seemed perfect. She was going to have a BBQ, planned to meet her internet friend at @net, and also planned for herself and Chuck hook Eva up with Victor. It seemed as if nothing could go wrong.
Everything felt like crap lately and she needed this day to cheer her up. Her father hated the truck they just bought and planned to return it. Also, she was having trouble with school, mainly concerning Bravo.
She was talking to Chuck online when her clothes got done in the dryer. she told him she had to go iron them and he had to go b/c his mom had to use the phone. That was when it happened. She was in her room ironing her pants, her brother was in the kitchen making something to eat, and her dad was watching television in the living room and talking to her brother. Their apartment was small and she could hear their conversation, they were discussing the new truck and how the financing might be too high. She picked out the truck, so hearing her dad nitpick about it didn't make her feel any better. then all of a sudden her dad stopped talking in midsentence. Her brother called his name but no answer, again he did and again no answer. He then called her out. Their father wasn't moving. Her brother gave him CPR but still he didn't move, she was shaking while he was doing this. There was nothing they could do, he was already dead from the massive heart-attack. He died, but did so with a smile on his face. Her brother stood there with a blank look on his face and she cried.
Her brother then ran to the phone and dialed 911. The whole time they were waiting for the ambulance they cried. When the ambulance came they put him in there and asked her is she was ok to crive to the hospital. She wasn't but she said she was.
At the hospital they were in the room next to the room where their dad lay. A man walked in and told them that their dad was dead and his body was in the next room. This pissed and her brother off because the tone of voice he was using did not fit the situation. He offerent them gum, and she felt like telling him to shove it up his ass.
The walked into the next room and saw their dad. He looked peaceful, the dead usually do, but the smile he had on when he died just added to it. the doctor that was in there told them how he died. She started to cry even more, her brother, on the otherhand, kept a straight face. she called Eva and she was going to come over shortly.
On the way home she had her mind cluttered about her dad, and her life. "What am Bryant and I going to do now? We are only teenagers." "How am I going to break the news to everyone?" And most of all, "Why couldn't I say goodbye?"
Although she was dehydrated she couldn't stop crying. Her brother was just in shock. Her day was demolished in under an hour, but she didn't care about that. All she cared about was that her dad had left and wasn't coming back.
User Reviews
Submitted by Chuck (user info) at 2004-10-05 22:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree, I could of made this better. But I actually wrote Part 1 during English class last year at the end of May. And thought I lost it after I showed my friend Joanna it asking her if I should change anything. Part 2 will be better. I don't like this that much. Too jumpy.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-10-05 22:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
2 parts? Shoulda finished it all together.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-10-05 22:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I've seen better (-1)