Long time, no see. (787 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.6 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (View user info) at 2004-10-06 11:55:40 EDT
The middle aged man sat at the counter, wearing a sweater that would make Bill Cosby vomit out of anger, and loudly chewing his coffee. I say chewing, because at Rosie's, the coffee was comparable to cold motor oil, in both taste and viscosity. I was somewhere between drunk and hungover, and most likely, I had one foot in each bucket. I was thinking about saying something, but whatever brought him to this godforsaken outpost at this time of night was probably enough on his shoulders. Plus, either he kept some large genitals on his hip, or he was packing some heat. I hadn't been shot at in weeks, and tonight was not the night.
I paid for my hashbrowns a la mode, finished the maze on my placemat and headed for the door. My spurs caught slightly on the carpet, and as I spun to maintain balance, the poorly dressed guy instinctively reached for his gun. I went for mine, and drew first. We stood there for a moment, me staring into his dark eyes, he staring at his own reflection in my L.A. Gear sunglasses. Neither of us had a reason to shoot, other than that the other was pointing a gun at them.
After what seemed like an eternity, Rosie came out of the kitchen, and Rosie, being Rosie, said, "Whatever fucking problem you fuckers have, fucking take it outside. I'm not cleaning the floors again this week." Rosie was short for Joe Rosland. He was about 6 foot 4 and a deuce and a half. Regardless of drunken stupor, people did not tango with Rosie, except for Mrs. Rosie, who used to dance for change over behind the VFW. I also knew that Rosie kept a deck sweeper under the counter, and probably had it in his hands already.
He cocked his head a bit, like when you ask a dog where their pants are, and smirked. I slowly lowered my gun, and he followed suit.
"That was a big of a fuckin' Reservoir Dogs moment, eh?" he said, reaching for his coffee while buttoning his holster. I gave him my best Eastwood look, took the toothpick from my mouth, and placed it behind my ear, as was the style at the time.
I stepped into the cool night air, and spit. What a great night. I hadn't seen my brother in years.
User Reviews
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-09-13 11:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
reading my old stuff. horray!
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AUTO--not earned-- -2.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you had me at hello...
err...I mean...
you had me at "my L.A. Gear sunglasses"
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-06 18:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The "where's your pants" is a true story.."LUCY, where are your pants?!?!" Man, that dog was confused! Then she drank a Guinness.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-10-06 15:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-10-06 15:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-10-06 14:58:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entertaining. The pride of uber.
Loki and Lucky already typed my thoughts.
he he
Where are your pants little dog? I've heard that way too many times.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-10-06 13:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"vomit out of anger"
"my L.A. Gear sunglasses"
"He cocked his head a bit, like when you ask a dog where their pants are"
"as was the style at the time"
and finally:
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-06 12:49:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-06 12:44:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you ever read something and don't quite get it, but think that the problem is you and not the post
All gold, pure.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-10-06 13:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"He cocked his head a bit, like when you ask a dog where their pants are"
Not bad. Not bad at all. Ahh, I love the imagination of the young. ;)
Submitted by Luckylacquer (user info) at 2004-10-06 13:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for "like when you ask a dog where their pants are"
and +1 for loki's review, which mirrors my thoughts
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-06 12:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-06 12:44:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you ever read something and don't quite get it, but think that the problem is you and not the post
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-06 12:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you ever read something and don't quite get it, but think that the problem is you and not the post
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-06 12:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sucky
Where'd my first review go?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-06 12:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah. Good story.