What A Waste (393 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Man Goo> (View user info) at 2004-10-06 17:13:04 EDT
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She came into the living room from folding the laundry to find him asleep on the couch. She sighed, but she couldn't help but give a little smile as she gently shook her head at him. She thought about how routine this was becoming as she went over to the stereo to turn the music off.
A few things have changed over the years. She still saw the man that stole her heart all those years ago with his ever-present smile and interesting approach to everything. He never really was that charming but he always saw things from an angle she never thought of before. Maybe that was the something that drew her in.
One day he came home from work and said he wouldn't be going in tomorrow. The company told him that they had made some difficult decisions due to 'the economic downturn in the industry' and that his position would no longer be staffed. His whole industry took a fall so there were no jobs for him anywhere.
Soon after that came the first real changes since they'd been seeing each other. She could see that it was hard on him but he was trying to be strong. He took advantage of the schooling he was eligible for through unemployment since he wasn't going to be working any time soon. He threw himself into the schoolwork and seemed to genuinely enjoy most of the classes he was taking. If it wasn't for the fact that he was there because he didn't have a choice, didn't have a job, she thought that he'd probably really enjoy it. But there was always that little nagging thought that he couldn't shake, she could see it. She knew him too well for him to be able to hide it from her.
It wasn't long before he started drinking more. He always drank a fair bit socially, say on Friday and Saturday nights with his friends, but that started bleeding over into weeknights. And then alone.
Being without a job became too much for his confidence and his ego. He started leaning more and more on alcohol. Not long after that his friends started hanging around less frequently, he just wasn't any fun to be around anymore. That made it worse.
He was never abusive towards her. Disrespectful, inconsiderate and unreliable on occasion, but never abusive. He took his situation out on himself, not her.
For her, it was almost like living alone at times even though he was always there. But she couldn't leave. He'd helped support her while she was going to school so she couldn't leave him when he needed her like this. He needed her.
This was not the first time she's had these thoughts lately and she was sure they'd come back again soon enough. They usually surface when she finds him passed out somewhere around the apartment or vomiting somewhere in the apartment. Or both. But she didn't want to think about it right now, she was tired and just wanted to relax a little before bed.
She finished gathering up the empty bottles and repopulated the now empty cardboard case they came from and went to watch a little television before bed. No more thinking about it today, she'll worry about it another day when she had time to think. Of course, she's been saying that for a few years already, maybe she'll just never get the time.
Curling up next to him on the couch with the remote in her hand she started thinking again. Thumb on the ON button, arm outstretched, she hesitated. What if he never came out of this state of self-destruction he's in? What if he is never able to treat her like she's always dreamed of being treated, like he used to treat her? What if she waits her entire life and it never happens? What a horrible waste of life that would be... No, not now. Now is for relaxing before bed. She's got to work tomorrow after all.
Besides, she couldn't help that she loved him.
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 12:07:59 EST (#)
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