PETA Wants to Shut Down my Baby Processing Facility (33339 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.9 on 76 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vermin (View user info) at 2004-10-06 20:18:50 EDT
Recently I showed you all my idea for a new kind of condom. Well, it seems someone submitted my article to PETA and now those filthy hippies are breathing hard down my neck. They are trying to shut my baby processing facility down! All I am trying to do is provide a living for myself and my family, and with the added benefit of providing jobs in the community. But will these granola eaters let me? Of course not.
My facility is up to current code, and my babies are treated humanely before they are slaughtered, skinned and processed. I am doing nothing wrong, and I am being unfairly targeted because some self-proclaimed "baby-rights" activists have taken it upon themselves to persecute me. What has happened to this once great country of ours where a man is not allowed to raise babies in cages, bash their little skulls in with a nail gun, then peel of their skins to make designer condoms?
We have lost our way.
But where there is life, there is hope. I have not given up the fight yet. You fine people on this site have supported me time and time again, and I ask you now: Please support my fight against this Unamerican organization known as PETA. Make a stand with me my friends, and lets not allow these extremists have another inch of ground.
Give this post a +2 if you stand for freedom, justice and for the right of a simple, honest hardworking man to create condoms out of human baby skin.
To allow you to make an objective decision, I have included a rare glimpse into my baby processing facility and the process involved in making baby skin condoms. I hope you enjoy it.
User Reviews
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-12 13:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As hilarious as it is disgusting. And it's mega both.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-12 12:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2009-05-12 12:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did this not go to B@W?
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-18 04:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-04-25 15:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-25 14:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-07-15 15:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A modest proposal if ever I saw one.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-07-15 14:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nominated for best ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88623
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-14 18:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*BUMP*
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-29 20:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-29 13:49:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh vermin you manage to disgust and thrill me at the same time.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-03-29 13:29:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-29 10:03:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sealclubber (user info) at 2005-12-09 15:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
congratulations (I guess), this post is on collegehumor.com
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-07 21:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-12-07 14:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-06 12:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss this even more
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-10-26 00:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by equaIizer (user info) at 2004-10-20 23:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder...it would be an apocalypse!
Submitted by EricRice (user info) at 2004-10-17 20:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't let your mind wander; it's far too small to be let out on its own.
Submitted by Eric_Rice (user info) at 2004-10-17 14:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish is spamming again.
Submitted by equalizer (user info) at 2004-10-10 15:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Equalized
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-10-08 08:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of your best!
Submitted by dinnerkraft (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well done! Except for one tiny detail: in the conveyor belt picture, the nail gun is pointing in the opposite direction, away from the babies. How do they get shot a nail through their fragile little skull then, hmm? hmmm? They're supposed to be dead before they hit the bin, right?
Explain yourself!
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truth.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When is this company going to "go public"?
Send me a P & E, please, and a prospectus.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W!
i would submit but i'm lazy
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
again
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-07 10:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As long as they don't find your chemical weapons storage facility you'll be o.k.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2004-10-07 07:41:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
You are one sick fuck.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure Genius!!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-10-07 08:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:32:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
As hilarious as it is disgusting. And it's mega both.
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2004-10-07 07:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are one sick fuck.
Submitted by Goulash (user info) at 2004-10-07 05:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ohh that's good stuff, how much is it, I'll take two!
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-10-07 02:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, give me a hundred!
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-10-07 01:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-10-07 01:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The babies on the fucking conveyor belt got me. This shit is hilarious, keep it coming.
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-10-07 01:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This had me giggling. Oh my. I giggled up until the babies on the conveyer belt...that is where I burst into full on laughter.
Submitted by The_T_Man (user info) at 2004-10-06 23:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post made me hungry.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-10-06 23:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vermin you fucking rock.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-06 22:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you were a woman I'd want you to have my babies.
And then we could turn them into condoms, thus making a smart business choice, as well as pleasuring ourselves.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-10-06 22:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are not enough +2's for this post.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-10-06 22:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck PETA. Fuck them in their hippie asses.
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-10-06 22:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:08:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant. Kudos on your first round UM post as well. It was one of my favourites.
--------------
Thanks! I probably won't do so well this time though as my current title sucks balls.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-06 22:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by Banned_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-06 22:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish wants those babies alive for himself.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-06 22:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know where Fetish lives now! :)
And shouldn't this be PETB? Just wondering... We still need your help. http://www.ubersite.com/m/47160
Oh, for Christ's sake, just click the fucking link, and stop being such bitches!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If my kid keeps me up one more night I'll donate her to you.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish, you fucking DICK. You did that on purpose. This is comedy gold and you know it.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sekeeth (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those PETA bastards. I now understand that your company is a valuable and important role model for other businessess.
Oh, and another +2 for IHAKF's lack of understanding.
DETROIT ROCKS
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant. Kudos on your first round UM post as well. It was one of my favourites.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll second that nomination.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reading this again...I must say, this is 77.8 karat GOLD! SOLID! Great stuff...I laughed my happy ass off...and now I am off to chase it down.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-06 21:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And this shall be your B@W post. So let it be nominated by me, DonkeyOnTheEdge, on this, the sixth day of the tenth month of the year twenty oh four.
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAa
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tee-hee.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/47160
They also want to disrupt the Plankton population! You MUST READ THIS, before it's too late!!!
Submitted by boredgurl210 (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent sequel!!!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post made my ass cum!
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As hilarious as it is disgusting. And it's mega both.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Genius if I ever saw it.
Submitted by icarus9mm (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my god. i read it.
that's the single greatest thing i've ever seen.
EVER.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But do they have a third leg to stand on?
Oh, I am so clever.
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus9mm (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:23:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't read this yet.
but that title is hilarious enough for me.
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-10-06 20:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The original post is here http://www.ubersite.com/m/45747