The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year (1861 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.3 on 135 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-10-07 03:10:38 EDT
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Entry 1
March, 1967Jenny Morrison was eighteen and in love. It was the kind of love that gave her butterflies in her stomach a half an hour before a date. It was the kind of love that made her look at herself in the mirror about twenty times before she went out, checking to see if her eyeliner was just right. It was the kind of love that kept her awake at night, a song running through her mind and electricity flowing through her heart.
It was unconditional and complete.
She met Roger Stafford at a singles Christmas party down at the old church on the corner of Bradford and Butternut three months ago. Roger was everything that she ever wanted in a man. He was smart, had a good job, and was very good looking. The way he looked at her made her melt right where she was standing. Her knees got weak and her girlfriend Charlotte asked her what was wrong.
"Nothing" she replied, "But I think I had better go sit down for a few minutes."
She walked over to the table where the finger foods were and took a seat on one of the folding chairs that were there. She was fanning herself with one of the paper napkins that were on the table when she heard a man's voice behind her.
"Excuse me?"
She turned around and her heart leapt into her throat.
"Hi" he said. "My name is Roger. Roger Stafford. I can't recall ever seeing you at one of these get togethers before. Are you new?"
She didn't know what to do. Here was this man, the very one who had literally brought her to her knees not two minutes ago, standing over her trying to strike up a conversation.
"Umm, hi." Was all she could manage, still fanning herself frantically with the paper napkin.
"Are you ok?" he asked. You look a little pale.
"I'm all right I think. Just a little light headed". She replied, hoping he couldn't hear the thumping of the big bass drum that was her heart. Evidently he could.
"It's awfully smoky in here, would you like to get some fresh air?"
She considered the invitation very carefully. There was nothing that she would like more than to go for a long walk with him, enjoying the cool evening air, but would she seem too easy to him? It took her about ten seconds to reach her decision.
"Sure, why not. It might do me some good" she said.
He took her by the hand and helped her to her feet. All she could think about was how strong his grip was and how feeble she felt. She allowed him to help her up, and in a minute they were outside walking down the street. She was cold so he had offered to put his arm around her as they walked. She let him and by the end of the night she was thinking Andy Williams was right. It was the last song she had heard before she left the party with Roger and Christmas was indeed the most wonderful time of the year.
The rest, as they say, is history.
It was a whirlwind romance with both Jenny and Roger finding out that they truly were meant for each other. She was an only child, so was he. She was eighteen, he was nineteen. She loved the same kind of music that he did and they spent hours listening to the Beatles in her mother's basement room. His favorite color was green, as was hers. They both shared a love of the same author, and when he read to her, the words of Walt Whitman had never sounded so good, so raw and so sensual. The only thing that they didn't have in common was family. She had an extended family that included grandparents and great grandparents on both sides. Also included were many Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. He had no family. They had all perished when he was young and he was raised by a foster family. As soon as he was old enough, he had moved out and gotten a job at a construction firm. The work was hard, but the pay was better than average if you were willing to break your back a little. He was never one to shy away from hard work.
For the better part of a year everything was going great. Then, one day Roger received a letter in the mail. It seemed the U.S. military couldn't live without him and through the machinations of the selective service, he was called upon to serve his country. Not being one to ever shirk responsibility, Roger answered the call and enrolled in the United States Marine Corps.
Jenny was devastated. She had read all sorts of negative things about the war in Vietnam, but she had never really thought it would affect her. Now, right here in the middle of her life, the war was chipping away at the foundation of her love. She was worried and scared for Roger and for their relationship. Roger, ever the optimist, reassured her that he would do the best that he could to become a great soldier, and that he would return to her as soon as his tour was over. The night before he left for Parris Island they made love for the very first time. It was an adventure for both of them and it was an experience which left them even more in love than before, and wanting more.
As he left the following morning, Jenny had all she could do to keep the tears from totally blurring her vision. She watched as he boarded the bus. She ran alongside it as it pulled out of the station. She waved as it disappeared down the street, taking Roger away from her and towards uncertainty. She cried sporadically for three day after that. Even when he called her to tell her about everything, she was still distraught at the distance between them. She regretted not asking him to marry her. Now, she would have to wait.
After a few months, Jenny had become somewhat used to Roger being a Marine. He seemed to be very good at soldiering and had shown such an aptitude that they had decided to train him to work on helicopters. She learned all this in a letter that Roger had sent her. He had become fond of writing letters to her because he said that he could be more "intimate" with his imagination while putting words to paper. It was also very much cheaper for him and he could do it every day. She wrote back religiously and they seemed to be falling deeper and deeper in love.
One day she received a letter from Roger informing her of a new assignment.
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Fifteen November, 1968
Dearest Jenny,
My CO has informed me that I'm being sent to Vietnam to work with the helicopter pilots. Imagine that, maybe I'll even be able to fly a few missions! They say that I'll be working to keep the aircraft operable and also doing some transport missions. I have been trained to operate the fifty caliber machine guns on board the CH-53 so have confidence that I won't be hurt or killed. I am so excited that I am about to burst. My superiors say that I really have what it takes to be an excellent Marine and that I am ready for "The big time". I have confidence in my ability so don't you worry a bit. I will go there and do what I have to do so that I can come back alive and well.
I love you Jenny, more than you can imagine. I know you can feel it through the letters that I write you every day. I will continue to try and write as often as I can, but I don't know how I will be able to send letters from Vietnam. I will find out when I get there.
Please take care and pray for me when you can. I love you and will see you when I get back.
Love,
Roger
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It was the last letter that she received. She must have written him thirty or forty letters, but received not a single one in return. She received a letter two months after his disappearance informing her that Roger had been shot down somewhere over Vietnam and was listed as missing in action. Her life shattered and lay in pieces around her ankles.
After a year of waiting for news of Roger, she had started to lose faith that she would ever see him again. After five years she had started the healing process, but not forgotten. After twenty years of living in her mother's house, she still could not forget about Roger. She would never give up hope. She would wait for him. She needed closure.
December, 1991
Charlotte had baked a Christmas cake. It was a marble cake and she had gone to great pains to decorate it with Christmas cheer. She was driving over to Jenny's like she did every Christmas, and she wanted to make sure that she brought something to cheer her up. Ever since that period in Jenny's life she refers to as "The Roger Years", everything had seemed to go downhill for her, especially around the holidays. For twenty three years Jenny had waited for Roger to be found. She had waited for him to walk back into her life again.
It had gotten better over the last five years or so but, no matter how hard Charlotte tried, she couldn't get Jenny to go out, meet new guys, or have any kind of fun. Charlotte had been a good friend over the years and had understood Jenny's pain. She had remained a true friend through thick and thin. When Jenny's mother passed away, she was there. When Jenny had fought a bad case of pneumonia, she was there. When Jenny had anxiety and stress over Roger every single Christmas, she was there. They had numerous conversations about whether Roger would ever be found. She didn't try to discourage Jenny's thoughts and always provided a strong shoulder when Jenny needed it. Charlotte was going to make sure that this holiday season, Jenny was going to have a good time. She was bound and determined not to let anything happen this year that would remind Jenny of her lost lover; her dashed hopes of marrying the only man she ever truly loved.
As she pulled into Jenny's driveway she was full of Christmas cheer. She sprung up out of the car, ran around the other side, opened the door and pulled out the cake, and bounded up to the front door. The snow was piled high around the sidewalk and she could see the sunlight shimmering off the crystals of snow as she knocked on the door.
No answer.
Charlotte knew Jenny was expecting her but she knocked again. It wasn't like Jenny to not come to the door.
No answer.
Charlotte figured that maybe Jenny was taking a walk or had gone to the store so she tried the doorknob. It was open, so she let herself in. She heard the music and the sweet sound of Andy Williams' voice immediately.
"It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids jingle-belling
And everyone telling you
Be of good cheer
It's the most wonderful time of the year "
Jenny was sitting in the middle of the living room floor. She had papers scattered all around her in heaps, and she was crying. "Uh-oh" Charlotte thought as she put the cake down on the table next to the door and rushed in to see what was going on. When she got to where Jenny was, she immediately knew what was happening. All around Jenny, thrown helter-skelter, were old letters. Charlotte knew in an instant that they were Roger's letters. Charlotte was confused. She thought Jenny was making progress with those old feelings. Evidently, she was wrong. Jenny was having and episode.
"It's the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings
And great happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap-happiest season of all"
"What's going on Jenny?" Charlotte whispered.
Jenny just looked up at her, tears still freely flowing from her bloodshot eyes. She reached up and showed Charlotte a letter. It had been opened, and was a little worse for wear, but it looked relatively new. Charlotte looked down at it and then reached out to take it from Jenny. She held it up and looked very carefully at the front of the envelope.
On the front, in an untidy but readable script was Jenny's address:
Jenny Morrison
1289 Comstock Avenue
Madison Wisconsin, 53562
The return address just had two words:
Roger Stafford.
"There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for roasting
And caroling out in the snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories
Of Christmases long, long ago"
"Did you find an unopened one Jenny? Is that what this is all about?"
Jenny was shaking her head furiously. Through her tears, she was trying to talk.
"LLLOOOK AT TH...TH...THE POSTMARK!" she screamed at Charlotte.
Charlotte's eyes immediately went to the postmark of the letter. December 28, 1971 was what she saw.
"Wait, didn't Roger stop sending you letters in 1968? Where did you get this?"
Jenny reached up with her other hand to show Charlotte another piece of paper.
"It came today" was all Jenny could say as she collapsed into tears. "It came today".
"Today? How the hell......?" Charlotte said as she grabbed the piece of paper from Jenny and began to read.
"We apologize for the delivery delay of this piece of mail. Here at the U.S. postal service we make every attempt to deliver mail on time. Occasionally, a letter gets misplaced and when we find the delayed mail, we deliver it as timely as possible. Please accept my sincerest regrets. I hope the delay of this letter is in no way an inconvenience to you. Have a happy holiday.
Sincerely,
Richard White, Postmaster.
U.S. Post Office
215 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd, Madison Wisconsin 53562"
"Bastards" Charlotte said under her breath. She turned her attention to the letter. She opened it and began to read.
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Twenty Four December, 1971
My Dearest Jenny,
I hope this letter reaches you. I have no idea if the guy that told me he could smuggle it out was telling me the truth. I have been thinking about you constantly since my capture. It is the only thing that keeps me going some days. They are treating us badly, but that is to be expected. I may never see you again, so there are a few things that I want to say.
I love you Jenny, with all my heart and soul. I have never met anyone like you and I know now that I never will. You have brightened my life and given me a will to live that I thought I would never have. Even though each day seems like misery here, it is thoughts of you that keep my spirits bright and my pain to a minimum.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you Jenny Morrison. The minute that I get rescued or can escape from this living hell, I am going to rush home to you and ask you to marry me. Please consider your answer because the minute I walk through your front door I am going to ask you. Don't give up on me Jenny. I am going to make it.
I promise.
It is Christmas Eve now and I am all alone. I am remembering the first time we met at the old church. Do you remember that? I can still see the look of surprise on your face when I asked you to take a walk with me. I can still hear Andy Williams' voice as we left that church arm in arm. Please play that song for me Jenny. Always remember me as you listen to it. For me, it will always be the most wonderful time of the year as long as I have you in my thoughts.
I have to go now so please take care. When you get this letter, please hold it next to your heart for me so I can feel it beating. I miss that feeling Jenny. I miss it a lot. Pray that I make it out of here alive. Merry Christmas.
Love Always,
Roger
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Charlotte checked the postmark again just to be sure. She knelt down and took Jenny into her arms, putting the letter in Jenny's hands and pressing them next to her heart. Jenny leaned into Charlotte and buried her head into her chest, clutching the letter to her breast as tightly as she could. They were both crying now and nothing in the world could make them stop.
Andy Williams continued,
"It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be much mistletoe-ing
And hearts will be glowing
When loved ones are near
It's the most wonderful time of the year"
Jenny Morrison started dating soon after that Christmas. Strangely enough, the letter she received gave her the closure she needed to go on with her life. She never married, but she was content.
Every Christmas from that year forward, Jenny Morrison spent Christmas Eve with Charlotte, Andy Williams, and a few nice bottles of merlot. She did this in remembrance of Roger Stafford, her one and only true love.
- VS -
Entry 2
What is the most wonderful time of the year? Well, I guess that'd be the holiday season, now wouldn't it? The holidays. Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Christmas, New Year's day, etc. There are even songs proclaiming how awesome it is. I love the holidays, too. But, because it's always brought me relief. Relief more than joy and love. This year will be better than ever! Shhhh. Be quiet, now. They'll know I'm talking to you.Ok, they're gone. Routine door lock check. See, I'm criminally insane. Unlike most "crazies" I'm fully aware of what I am. I know perfectly well why I'm here, when I do bad stuff, and other goings on. For example, my friend Amy. She's been my friend since I was admitted here seven years ago. No one else can see her. She's solely mine. By this fact I know she's imaginary. She's just not imaginary to me. I was eleven when I came to St. Hector Hope House. Eleven when I became a threat to society. Three years later is when Amy and I shared our first kiss. I never thought I was a lesbian. I just liked to kiss her. The deep kind with tongue and slurping. A year after that, she went down on me. My first non violent sexual experience was with a phantom lesbian. And it rocked. We still do it all the time.
Shit! They're coming.
"Billie! Who are you talking to in there!"
"Shut the fuck up Ivan. What's it to ya?"
"Oh, it must be Amy. I'll leave you alone if you promise to be quiet! It's quiet time."
Thank the fucking Lord it was only Ivan. He's a night nurse who's on duty three times a week. The other night nurses take advantage of St. Hector's night time policy:
KEEP THEM QUIET BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
Some of them, like Mr. James, use straps or brute force. I think he gets off on it. In fact I know he does. If I'm in trouble with Mr. James, sometimes I'll exchange restraint or a beating for a detailed story about Amy and my last sexual encounter. One time I even let him watch. He said since he couldn't see her it was extra hot.
The younger cum wads don't expend the energy to hit me. They like to use drugs. If they're really bored they'll inject me with different kinds of shit so that I get all trippy. Then they watch me and laugh. Fuckers. But not Ivan. He's good to us. We joke with him and he jokes with us. With Ivan, we feel like real people.
What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. The holidays. They're coming soon! Well Amy just came in, so it's time for you to leave. I'll tell you in the morning.
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly!!! Fa la la-"
"Billie, what did I tell you, girl?!"
"Good night Ivan!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is our cafeteria. This is my spoon. We eat mostly with spoons. Dull, bendy, plastic spoons. They tell us that regular silverware is dangerous. What they mean is that we're dangerous. I guess that's a safe assumtion since most of us have injured people with kitchen aids. Like the time I stabbed my step-father in the dick. I used a spoon.
Last week was our Thanksgiving dinner. We had cookies shaped like pumpkins and turkeys and they were sprinkled with orange sugar. A few more weeks and we'll get the Christmas trees with green sprinkles. They turn our tongues green.
I love this time of the year for three reasons. Number one, these rockin' cookies. Number two, my step-father never beat me or raped me during the holidays. Between Thanksgiving and New Year's day, he never laid a finger on me. He said it was because he was a good Christian man. Number three, my birthday is December 22nd. This year I'm turning eighteen, and I'll be set free. They say I'm rehabilitated. As much as I can be anyway, and I'm not a threat to society anymore. They have me set up to stay in a half-way house or group home or something.
"Roll call, everybody, then off to play time."
Great. Roll call takes forever because there are ten crazies in here that don't even talk. You can imagine how all the nurses have to go around and check bracelets and blah, blah, blah...
I'll get back to you in like, an hour.
"Billie Jean Sweet!"
"She's not here. She jumped out the window!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Play time was good this time. I got to watch a movie. I love movies. My favorites are Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, and Kill Bill Vol.1. Volume 2 isn't out on video yet. Of course we're not allowed to watch these, dumbass! But we have our own 'Red.' A man who can get things. I'm in an elite cirlce in this place. Some of us, and you'll learn who, have it just a little better than the rest of the crazies. Having boobs can win you incredible things.
Sometimes, I wish I was a badass. I mean killing people alone doesn't make you a badass. I love the part in Kill Bill where O-Ren is walking down the hallway of that hotel with her pack of assassin minions following her, including that hot little Jap body guard, Gogo. It's all in slow motion and there's some fuckin' ass kicking musical accompaniment.
I killed a man last year. No, don't worry! I won't kill you. Not yet anyway. Just remember to play nice.
Eddie, the one I killed, used to think he owned me. He was the worst night nurse ever to come through St. Hector. It wasn't just me that he raped, either. It was about six of the other girls, too. So, one night I waited for him to come in and I just stabbed him in the heart with a knife. Yep a knife. Earlier that evening the nurses were short staffed and there were only two on duty for dinner. I asked one of the nurses if she could cut my chicken with a knife. Of course, she did. In the middle of her first slice, Shelly started to choke. Shelly was also one of Eddie's victims. Both nurses dropped everything and rushed to her aid. They dropped everything. Even the knife. It couldn't have been more perfect. Exactly as we planned it. Shelly was really quite the actress. I think she really made herself choke on her food!
So, then I had this dead body. I stayed up all that night and cut him into the smallest bits that I could. That damned knife was no good after a while. I stashed his remains in my closet, in my personal box and in my dresser drawers. I only had three days until our next room inspection. For the next three days, I was "sick" and took frequent bathroom trips. Piece by piece, he entered the sewer. I vomited in the wastebasket to cover the dead body smell that began to develop after the middle of the second day. I broke the bones that I could and stuffed my bra and underwear strapped them to my shins. I chucked them over the fence and into the woods behind our yard. Bones are sharp! Oh, the blood. You should've seen it! It was everywhere. No one found most of it. I did the cutting inside trashbags. It's a good thing I knew a man who could get things. The blood they did find I blamed on my period. Since it was primarily on sheets I told them I refused to wear a tampon or a pad anymore!
I didn't mean to be all morbid, but he had it coming to him. So, did my step-father. I killed him, too. I only stabbed him, though. There was no time to hide him anywhere. I didn't really care to hide him anyway. Nothing would ever be wrong again now that he was dead. I stood there while my mother called 911. I was still there when they took him and his limp dick away. I was still there looking at the stain on the floor when they came for me.
But, I'm a changed woman! Don't look at me like that. The experts said so. I wonder if I'll see Amy in my new home. I wonder if I'll need her. I wonder if I'll see you.
This year's holiday magic will bring my freedom. I'll be able to spend Christmas and my birthday with my mother. I can visit her anytime I want! Her and her new boyfriend.
Entry 1:
Ainkara
AlwaysAnEagle
Ancius
AshyLarry
babydoll
Badlands
Bigmike
BLITZKREIG_BOB
BoxcarChild
Caulaincourt
cexshun
comicbookguy
corn_nugget
Coyote
Dirtbird
Disektor
domenad
Durae
engine13
espo
gamma
Genko
girlreporter
GodChicken
godking
HadToBeDone
hummer_please
humor_me
hyprspacd
I.G
Impassive-Digressive
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
Julia
Katja
knucklesnelson
korthrun
logancho
loki
Maestro
MaximusPadus
MouRNIngLoRY
munkeypants
MyNameIsTim
NerfHerder
omnifica
Orla
potatomanjack
ralphmacchio
razmataz73
redraven
ruin_dc
runninginplace
salmonofdoubt
Sassmasterr
Scott_James
sebcharrot
Seralena
shadow
shark25
SilvrWolf
Slovin
Smurfs
someone
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Spiral_Abraxis
Stabkill
stevie_says
strider
TaK
Teephphah
Therighteouswicked
TigerLilly
WiKi
WillZone
xenon
youarsoghey
YouLookLikeINeedADrink
55 eligible votes (80 total) *
Entry 2:
Allyson
apollo88
BillsSBChamps
bitemetillibleed
bob
Brdn_Nkd
Circe
cshape
darko
evolydal
FilthyAssistant
Ignore_the_Small_Print
JonnyX
LadyPlural
lojope
mcannon7
Natalia_Everitt
polyamorousaj
professorfuckface
QueenAshlee
rurumon
Salmon
satchel
shitfuck
Shlongy
Siren
Slypher
Spuds002
thaumaturge
tinactin
tlozoot
William_Q_Percy
Zeccs
Zoidberg
30 eligible votes (34 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-14 22:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice job, Siren. I enjoyed your post.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-10-14 03:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck are you, raz?
Submitted by razmataz73 (user info) at 2004-10-12 21:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't like either of these stories. Entry 1 was predictable, lame, and sappy. And this snippet from Entry 2:
"See, I'm criminally insane. Unlike most "crazies" I'm fully aware of what I am. I know perfectly well why I'm here, when I do bad stuff, and other goings on."
It really took me out of the story. It was inappropriate and weakened the story in a big way. It was written in such a way that I was completely bored.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-10-12 20:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bitemetillibleed (user info) at 2004-10-12 20:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These were both great, it was hard to choose...
Entry 1 made me cry, but Entry 2 got it cause it was just awesome, and reminds me of someone I know. How scary.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-10-12 03:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-10-12 02:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by babydoll (user info) at 2004-10-11 23:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-10-11 17:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-10-11 16:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sneak at 2004-10-10 23:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BoxcarChild (user info) at 2004-10-10 23:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-10 22:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-10-10 21:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-10-10 21:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Natalia_Everitt (user info) at 2004-10-10 18:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2: Fucking crazy. Just how I like them
#1: Cliche, but sweet.
I guess I'll go with #2. It was something new.
Submitted by YouLookLikeINeedADrink (user info) at 2004-10-10 14:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-10-10 14:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, if I was a chick, Entry 1 would have got me crying.
hehehe, good job, really.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-10-10 03:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by evolydal (user info) at 2004-10-10 02:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2004-10-10 02:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that really made me feel good, but sad, but hopeful, and reminicent. i want to make out with it, i loved it that much.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-10-10 01:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-10-09 15:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Both excellent. Number 1 was written better though, even if it was a bit long.
Body count: 488
http://tbd.yi.org/umbc.php
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-10-09 15:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Author 1, I was being sarcastic. I really thought your story was well written and everything, I just didn't like it. That's all.
Submitted by omnifica (user info) at 2004-10-09 14:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-10-09 11:39:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both were excellent.
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2004-10-09 08:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Author of entry one <HowcouldIwritesuchapieceofshit> at 2004-10-09 07:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2004-10-09 02:12:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Come ON, people! This is so fucking stupid. One was a cliched, "well-written" piece of shit. UberMadness isn't about if you can fucking put sentences together in the best way. It;s about engaging people with cool stories. Entry one was not a cool fucking story. It was a sappy chick flick movie plot. Author one, for SHAAAAAAAAME!
Wow, you must have really hated this.
I thought it was a cool story. I thought it was engaging and interesting, that's why I wrote it. I'm sorry you were so disappointed.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-10-09 04:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 kept my attention. 1 didn't.
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2004-10-09 02:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come ON, people! This is so fucking stupid. One was a cliched, "well-written" piece of shit. UberMadness isn't about if you can fucking put sentences together in the best way. It;s about engaging people with cool stories. Entry one was not a cool fucking story. It was a sappy chick flick movie plot. Author one, for SHAAAAAAAAME!
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2004-10-09 02:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One was just too fucking cliched.
Submitted by Therighteouswicked (user info) at 2004-10-08 23:55:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-10-08 23:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ELYSIA at 2004-10-08 19:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what a cute story! i relaly liked it.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-10-08 16:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-10-08 15:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 2 might not have been great, but it was no entry 1.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-08 14:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1 was sappy.
2 just sucked.
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-10-08 14:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by logancho (user info) at 2004-10-08 13:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-10-08 13:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
never mind, i found it.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-10-08 13:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This, not for any similarity it bears, but for some reason reminds me of a post I read awhile back about a guy who's brother was a codewriter, got captured, and sent his brother a coded letter using the secret code from a cereal box when they boys were younger. The first person who remembers the post and links me to it gets a prize.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-10-08 12:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought both of these were really good. It was a hard choice.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-10-08 11:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 was good, 1 made me cry.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-10-08 10:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-10-08 08:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was very well written, but didn't really "pop." Engaging, but still didn't hook me all that hard. I found myself skimming in places.
#2 was actually okay. It wasn't near as well composed as #1, but there were more original(-ish) story elements.
I went with #1 based on the quality of writing.
Submitted by Salmon (user info) at 2004-10-08 05:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Author #2 at 2004-10-08 01:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ho hum.
:'(
Submitted by Author of entry one <findingmyfeminineside.com> at 2004-10-08 00:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-10-07 17:32:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
These were both well written but I didn't like eithe at all.
And if a guy wrote Entry 1, consider this an assault on his masculinity.
Best reply ever. Guys can't write about stuff like this unless they are gay?
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2004-10-07 21:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-07 21:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The first one was a little unconvinceing. If you gonna crap on about soul mates don't use love at first sight. There's no such thing. Only lust
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-10-07 20:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2's a little too morbid...
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-10-07 20:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-10-07 18:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-10-07 18:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-07 18:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry two wasn't great, but entry one was horriblyy cliched.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-10-07 18:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by girlreporter (user info) at 2004-10-07 18:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HARD choice, really hard. No. 1 nearly made me cry.
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-10-07 17:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These were both well written but I didn't like eithe at all.
And if a guy wrote Entry 1, consider this an assault on his masculinity.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-10-07 17:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:49:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
I would have loved a title like this. Meanwhile, whoever wrote entry one: it isn't a competition to see who can write the longest post. If someone writes a big turd like that against me and people vote for it because of the 'effort' put into it, I will rage.
Submitted by Author of number one <rplyingtocriticism.com> at 2004-10-07 13:56:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and rage on, like anybody will care.
--
ZING!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-10-07 17:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry #1 had real heart.
I can see what #2 was going for, but it didn't get there.
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-10-07 16:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-10-07 16:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-07 16:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-10-07 15:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-10-07 15:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Author of entry one <Maybe therewastoomuchplot.com> at 2004-10-07 14:50:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, let me explain this for those of you who are having a hard time with it.
In 1991, Jenny receives a letter that has been lost in the mail for twenty years. It is the last letter that her true love Roger has ever written her. Yes, he was alive in 1971, and in a POW camp when the letter was written. She has had stress and anxiety for over twenty years, knowing that he was captured but never wanting to come to terms with the fact that he might be dead. Charlotte was helping her deal with it and Jenny was making progress until that letter came.
Roger is obviously never coming back. It was the letter that finally brought that home to her.
Knowing from the letter that if he ever did return, he was going to come right home and ask her to marry him, Jenny has to realize that he died because he never did return, proposal on his lips. She never got her marriage to him and she realizes that she never will. She moves on. Charlotte helps her.
He was alive in 1971, not 1991.
Submitted by Katja (user info) at 2004-10-07 14:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ralphmacchio (user info) at 2004-10-07 14:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-10-07 14:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-10-07 14:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both of these were really good.
Wooo! Round 2
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-10-07 14:06:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rurumon (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im not exactly sure why the woman in entry 1 decided not to find roger after opening the letter. I mean, she finally found out her true love was alive and that somehow ellicits the closure she needs to forget about him? I would think that knowing he was dead would be far more of a catharsis then knowing he was still out there.
Submitted by Author of number one <rplyingtocriticism.com> at 2004-10-07 13:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:49:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
I would have loved a title like this. Meanwhile, whoever wrote entry one: it isn't a competition to see who can write the longest post. If someone writes a big turd like that against me and people vote for it because of the 'effort' put into it, I will rage.
I can respect that you thought it was a "turd" however, some stories just come in this manner. This one came out a little longer than I would have liked it to, but there were a few points I needed to cover.
I started writing and I didn't stop until it was completed. Then I went back and edited some content, changed the flow a little, and came up with a finished product. It is more a short story than a regular post. It developed that way and I let it.
I find it hard to believe that most people are voting for this because it is long. I don't think Uber has really ever been like that. If most people thought that it sucked, I think they would gladly tell me, such as you did.
Oh, and rage on, like anybody will care.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would have loved a title like this. Meanwhile, whoever wrote entry one: it isn't a competition to see who can write the longest post. If someone writes a big turd like that against me and people vote for it because of the 'effort' put into it, I will rage.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by I.G (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Author of entry one <Ourtitlewasnteasy.at.ubersite.com> at 2004-10-07 12:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by godking (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:34:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
So let me get this straight. He's shot down and MIA so she waits for decades for him without knowing anything. Then she gets a letter that shows he survived being shot down and he asks her to wait so THEN she decides to move on? Odd, but I voted for #1 anyway.
GK
Check the dates GK. You missed something there.
To author number two, your post is grand and I enjoyed it very much. You have real talent.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by mcannon7 (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by godking (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So let me get this straight. He's shot down and MIA so she waits for decades for him without knowing anything. Then she gets a letter that shows he survived being shot down and he asks her to wait so THEN she decides to move on? Odd, but I voted for #1 anyway.
GK
Submitted by Matty <mcannon7.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-07 12:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Dirtbird (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tough choice. I thought both authors did a tremndous job.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:42:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wackos and nutcases rule.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Truly a tearjerker. Maybe I'm just a sad sap.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish there were higher ratings than 2. That story was in-fucking-credible. I literally almost cried,...and I'm a guy!
Submitted by redraven (user info) at 2004-10-07 10:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-07 10:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was generic, but well written.
#2 was fairly interesting, but you could tell the author was trying too hard. A crazy lesbian killer who is just about to turn 18? c'mon.
#1 wins by half a horse.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-10-07 10:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Number 2 was just that much better. Crazies are goldie. Good job to you both.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-07 10:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2004-10-07 10:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2004-10-07 10:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sappy bullshit, sob story or just bullshit story?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Maestro (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
both great
Submitted by hummer_please (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The last two paragraphs of entry 1 were pointless but it still wins.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a SHITTY fucking title...
I am not even reading this crap. I might later. Now that fucking song is in my head, and I hate Christmas...for that matter, I hate Christ, but he is more tolerable than this title.
I might read/rate this later after I've taken my lithium.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-10-07 09:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-10-07 08:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-07 08:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-07 07:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-07 07:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-10-07 07:49:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-10-07 07:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Number one was excellent. A little too narration-heavy, and it could've been edited down a bit, but it told a sad story very well.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-10-07 07:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-10-07 06:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Orla (user info) at 2004-10-07 05:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ruin_dc (user info) at 2004-10-07 05:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shite.
Submitted by Ancius (user info) at 2004-10-07 05:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2004-10-07 04:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
both were good, but 2 was intresting in a tweeked out kinda way.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-07 04:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2004-10-07 04:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking brilliant, wish i had thought of this for my entry! "Number two, my step-father never beat me or raped me during the holidays. Between Thanksgiving and New Year's day, he never laid a finger on me. He said it was because he was a good Christian man." Yup thats religious people for ya. Oh and it reminded me of my time in the looney bin.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-10-07 04:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Really tough choice.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
number two started slowly but turned out great.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Both of these were just too fucking morbid. What the hell?
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry #1 i'll probably regret my vote once I get some sleep and am not up all night doing homework (that said I got a pretty good idea who #1 is :) ) so I just wont rate anymore late at night
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My former piano teacher is named Roger. And he is a super hottie.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-10-07 03:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
getting kinda tired of these "song lyrics interspersed throughout" type stories