Dickcheese. (1534 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 44. Spiral (View user info) at 2004-10-07 11:40:06 EDT
I woke up on the floor in my bedroom staring at the soiled carpet in that hellhole of a house I spent the night in. I was on the floor because two of the bed's supports had broken out after last night's......escapades. Now, I've been to parties before, don't get me wrong. But what happened last night was a PARTY. It was a good sized house, but when you cram 200 people and enough alcohol to get a family of blue whales hammered into it the place will get trashed.
I pushed the semen and beer stained sheets off of me and looked around the room in my seemed to be still drunken stupor. This had apparently been a little girls room considering the Hello Kitty posters that were now ripped up and on the floor. When I usually get drunk with friends we'll fuck around and act like dicks, but we went insane. We tore the damn place up. Spray painted pictures of the drunken minds of high schoolers gave the wall a new decor. The room stank of piss, alcohol, semen, and God knows what else. I wondered about what kinds of sexual happenings went on in this room, considering about 10 people were sprawled out about the floor, most of them naked.
I ruffled my hair, picking out a soggy Cheeto and a condom. I put on my pants that were hanging from the Christmas lights someone had decided to put up last night...at least I think they're my pants. I stumble over to the bathroom and look into the mirror. God damn, I was a mess. I saw in the reflection of a mirror two guys sleeping in the half filled bathtub. I wonder what they'll think when they wake up. I stared back into the mirror at my disheveled appearance. Damn, my earring was bothering me.
I pull the gromit off one side of the earring and take it out of my ear. I look at the 6 gauge earring in my hand and I do what I always do.
I smell it.
I sniffed the earring and the displeasing odor of what I like to call "dickcheese" enters my nostrils. If you've ever gauged your ears or have gotten your piercings infected I think you'll know what I'm talking about. Dickcheese smells like this: Picture a fat man in a sweatsuit who's been jogging for 3 hours. He's drenched in sweat. He stops in front of you and pulls down his pants and boxers and places his finger at his asshole and rubs in between the folds of his fat, sweaty gooch. He pulls his defiled finger out and places it under your nostrils and you smell it. That is about what dickcheese smells like.
This story really had no point, but I just wanted to talk about....dickcheese.
User Reviews
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-09 21:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-10-07 17:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always funny.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blah
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But spread on crackers it's STILL better than Vegamite
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Humanity has hit another low.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-07 12:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give a plus because, and I don't know if this is mere coincidence or not...but I've been calling some Uberites "dickcheese" since around October 1.
Dipshit was getting a bit stale and overworked.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
being a fat man who exercises 3 hours a day, i know what it smells like.
i laughed
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's fucking nasty. I think
I am going to blow my lunch.
Submitted by great_angst (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm ready for lunch now. Thanks.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-07 11:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I feel defiled by this post.