Wanderer (382 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ugaly <UG_A_LY.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-10-10 16:00:13 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
*** Just so you know this isn't edited. Been busy all week and haven't had the time. If you are going to vote against me because of a few grammatical and spelling errors then you can just screw off ***
"Rippens! GET IN HERE NOW!"
"What did you do this time Chuck?" questioned Darren, a fellow police officer.
"Nothing. Chief is just pissed off because I never do what he intends me to do."
"And you don't find anything wrong with that huh?"
Chuck ignored the retort as he slowly sauntered into Chief Rackley's office. He had been getting used to the walk across the station and was rather well acquainted with Jennifer, Chief's secretary.
"Morning Jen."
"Good luck Chuck.
He reached the door and stood patiently for a moment, making sure Chief could see him through the window before stepping into the office. He rather enjoyed annoying Chief at any and all possible moments. After walking in he took his seat and held firm to the arms of the chair for the incoming barrage.
He watched Chief stare him down with his piercing brown eyes. Chief intimidated most men on the force with his sheer size. It was rumored he was a retired weightlifting champion, but Chuck couldn't have cared less. He loved picking fights anywhere he could even if he would lose.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU COST ME? THIRTEEN CARS, A DIESEL AND HALF A MANUFACTURED HOME! HOW DO YOU DO IT?"
Chuck merely smiled at the Chief and said "I'm just that good I guess."
"That good huh? DON'T get cute with me boy. How'd you do it?"
"It's called a gas pedal Chief. They used theirs to get away, I used mine. High speed chases make stupid people on the freeway do stupid things. It's their own damn fault their shit got ruined."
"Their fault? THEIR FAULT? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON YOUR WAY TO THE SCHOOL TO GIVE A LECTURE ABOUT DRUGS!"
"And I was. Then the guy sped by me on the freeway. When I turned my lights on and he kept going I figured he had something to hide."
"YA HE HAD SOMETHING TO HIDE! HE HAD A STACK OF PORN IN HIS CAR! THATS IT. A STACK OF PORN. YOU DESTROYED ALL THAT STUFF FOR A STACK OF PORN! AND YOU MISSED THE LECTURE!"
Chuck smiled weakly and replied, "You didn't happen to confiscate any of that did you Chief?"
"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY OFFICE. YOU ARE DAMNED LUCKY YOU END UP IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME SO MUCH. OTHERWISE YOU'D BE ON THE STREET!"
"It's okay Chief. You just need a hug." Chuck stood up and walked around to the Chief with his arm spread wide open. He didn't quite make it to the Chief before he was shoved backwards. Laughing he walked out of the office.
"Yah...He loves me," he said to Jen as he walked out of the office. He had just barely gotten back to his desk when
"RIPPENS!"
"Hello again Jen!"
"Rippens. I need you to do a favor for me. Remember that drug lecture you missed. Well its been rescheduled and you are going to be doing it. THIS TIME don't screw it up."
"You never answered me about that porn Chief." With that he turned around and walked out of the room before the Chief could start yelling at him. He looked back at the door and saw Chief's face a brilliant shade of red.
"Later days everybody. And better lays!" He yelled. "Especially..." he started laughing and the rest of his speech was broken up. "Especially you Chief. I heard about that transvestite!"
A few of his friends in the department exploded with laughter as he walked out the door. He was laughing all the way to his car, and when he got there he stopped, realizing he was getting stuck with the crap jobs all the time now.
The school he was going to was only a mile away. He started thinking quietly on his way how he would make the speech interesting but couldn't think of anything. Drugs aren't a fun subject to talk about.
He was a mere three blocks away from the school when he looked down the alleyway and saw ten people huddled together, the tallest was holding a clear plastic bag filled with something white.
"Wooo Hooo. Another way to piss him off." Chuck took his next right and circled the block just to make sure what he saw was correct. Indeed it was.
He unholstered the gun at his hip and walked into the alley. "Tustin P.D. You are under arres----OH SHIT" He dove behind the nearest dumpster he could and covered his head with his hands. Bullets were flying everywhere around him. A car passing in the road exploded as a bullet lodged itself in the engine block.
"Officer requesting backup on Chicago Street. AlleyWAAAAHHHHHHH." A stray bullet ricocheted off a gas meter and lodged in his left arm.
He stuck his hand out around the dumpster and shot blindly. He heard a loud scream as he assumed he hit the woman in the group. He kept still, steadily returning fire when he could. When other units arrived they came from both sides of the alleyway and yards bordering it. In a matter of seconds it was all over.
He stood up and walked to the middle of the alleyway. Nine dead bodies all lay down in a jumbled heap, blood leaking from the edges on the dirt.
"Boy Chief's sure going to be pissed at this one Chuck."
"What for? At least its only a car this time."
"A car, repairs on houses, your bulletwound, another missed lecture, and some ladies dog."
"A dog? Who shot the dog?"
"You did. The woman over there said she started screaming when a bullet came and hit her chihuahua in the head."
"You said a dog died. Not a little rat with long legs."
"RIPPENS GOD DAMNIT."
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 11:59:28 EST (#)
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