I Never Said It Would Be Easy. (433 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Natalia Everitt <natalia_everitt920.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-10-10 17:31:28 EDT
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There are few things more precious than life. Few more precious than love, few more precious than need. My life, in short detail, lacking all of these things, has cheated me slightly. I'll never be able to run to daddy when I scrape my knee, or beg my mom to sing me a lullaby. I never have been able to, and never will be. Suffice it to say, I don't give a jolly good fuck, and have everything I want right in front of me. My one big mistake however, the only thing I can truly say I regret, is believing that others were just as fucking jaded as I am, and that, like myself, none of them cared. I've always been selfish and I suppose it is my 'take what I want and if it doesn't bother you fine' attitude that scares everyone off. It must have been what scared him off. It couldn't have been me. He wasn't man enough. It must have been.
And as always, there come the excuses. Is there any real excuse for what happened? Yes, that I'm the biggest fucking bastard to ever walk this earth. That he was too weak to stop himself from falling. That I'm too weak to stop myself from falling. Yes, I suppose that's it.
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"Jeni," he whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Leave me the fuck alone, Alex. I don't feel like indulging in your pity right now." I replied, pushing him away from me. He looked a bit confused, and a little angry. This was going to be very good.
"Have you always been this way? So fucking bitter?" I brushed a stray hair from his eye. I smiled in a very, sadistic, suggestive manner, as if to say, 'yes, want to fuck now?'
"Hmm... Have you always been this way? So fucking pathetic?" Alex sat back like a wounded dog and appeared very distraught by my offhand and intentionally nasty comment. I continued to smile, not caring one fucking way or another if he felt bad about what I had said.
"I know you Jeni. You like to take advantage of people, and make them feel inadequate. I don't know if you get off, on the fact that you're all I ever think about, or, or the fact that when I'm around you, I feel the most complete that I probably ever will. Or could it be that you just want me to suffer the same fucking way you do, every time you see your father, or should I say, every time you don't see him. Where is he now Jeni? Off with some fucking twenty year old hooker? Fuck this. I might as well fucking die. Do you hear me?" I listened carefully to his soft voice, with the slight edge of a Scottish accent and an audible angry tone. His hands shook with energy and fervor that he had no use for, and his eyes screamed at me. I couldn't hear what they were telling me.
Of course, I consider myself above petty arguments, and told Alex this in a calm, collected manner.
"Petty? Our relationship is on the line."
"Exactly what relationship is it that you refer to? Because I am well aware, Lex luv, that we fuck every day. And I am very fucking aware that I sucked your cock in the church bathroom. Is that's what is on the line, Alex? Do you, well," I laughed, "do you really want that on the line?" I asked, moving closer to him. My voice was just a ghost across his cheek, my hands firm around his waist. I knew I was so close to breaking his composure.
"Do you love me?" Alex asked. "After a year of this, a year of us together constantly, a year of me doing everything I can for you, do you love me yet?" I'm a very strong girl, not physically, fuck no, but mentally it takes a lot to break me. It certainly takes more than him shaking and on the verge of a mental breakdown to clear away my self-control.
"Do I love you?" I repeated, choosing my words carefully.
"Yeah. Because I can promise you if you say yes you'll never regret it as long as you live. I will do anything. Jesus fucking Christ Jeni don't leave me like this..." he whispered, his eyes shut tight as though if I were to utter that one final word of farewell, the word everyone hates to hear, it would ease the pain a little to not have to see it. I closed my eyes as well, imagining what it would be like if that word were to roll off the tip of my tongue. If I were to taste the bitter-sweetness of 'no,' and Alex were to suffer from it as long as his pathetic life was allowed to continue. Could I really destroy his life with one simple word? The power was overwhelming.
"Maybe," I ventured, stepping up to him and licking his soft cheek.
"What the fuck does that mean?" he asked, jerking away from me.
"Now, now, don't act like that," I said sweetly, walking up to him and sliding my arms around his slender waist. I pushed my hand boldly into his pants and teased his sweet cock, slowly. Alex threw his head back a bit, and his eyes rolled back in his head.
"That means luv," I began, stroking his soft chestnut hair with my free hand, "no." And with that last lovely word, I broke it off and broke his heart. He was left standing foolishly in the kitchen. I walked away, straining my ears so that I could hear his pathetic whimpers. It was that feeling that never failed to get me high, that feeling of power over someone's life. I never said it would be easy, to do what I did, but it was worth it.
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 11:59:00 EST (#)
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