Is It Just Me? (513 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sublime this.is.ross.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2004-10-10 21:58:44 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. How did I land myself into this one. The walls are closing in on me and no amount of alcohol would fix the kind of trouble I am in now.
I'm sitting in a comfy chair around a fireplace, my hands are shackled but my feet are free. Across from me is The Count, I could try and pronounce his name but it really wouldn't work. He is dressed in a smoking jacket, and is doing just that, puffing on a big one sipping brandy, he's a bastard.
The guy to his left has a on a uniform and spectacles, I think he is called Harvey. He has a dent on his forehead that could be mistaken for age, but I am fairly certain it was from the marble clock I bludgeoned him with. He's sitting in a chair too, but he doesn't have any brandy, but he's a bastard too.
The woman beside me is completely unknown to me, I wish she were attractive so I didn't have to gawk and Harvey's piercingly idiotic stare and focus my eyes on an illustrious figure. But she was ugly, she must have been rich. I'm pretty sure she is a bastard too.
The room was like a study, but everything was laden with gems and shiny metal. I couldn't care less about the shiny metal and gems. The only metal I was looking at was the box in the far corner of the room: the radio. The radio would decide my fate, soon enough, a voice of a man would come on, he would sound deep and serious, he would maybe say one or two sentances, but they would come down like lightning through the thunderous static.
The three of them sat around and gave general chit chat bullshit about recent happenings up and about the manor. It was all trivial talk to keep their minds off the matter at hand. Harvey was excited, the Count was nervous and the ugly lady was poised and without emotion. Harvey got up to give the radio a crank, to make sure it would keep going for the next little while, as the transmission was coming soon.
It gave me a little time to reflect on wether or not what I had done was worth what I was getting. The man who would come over the radio was none other than Lord Ernst Hanstagg himself and his wife used to be a prisoner here. Ethel was a fine dame, but her husband was quite the opposite, she was free within the manor, but a prisoner, never to leave it, under his orders. She explained it to me one day. Turns out in a drunken stupor He sent her away for passing an innocent comment towards a General, he couldn't do anything to the General because it was a General, but she was expendable. So there she is, a birdie with clipped wings, long story short, i nursed her back to health and opened the window. Bye Bye Birdie, people stopped hearing the bird sing and they eventually found out what I had done.
Maybe its just me, where the whole honor and duty, duty and honor system just doesn't apply. Glory wasn't coming my way being a sentry in dumpsville. Some wrongs had to be righted and I figured, make it hurt.
Then the voice came over the radio and quickly decided my fate. The ugly woman put on a pair of gloves and prepared the hypodermic needle. Harvey's grin grew ear to ear and I motioned with my eyebrows towards the marble clock on the mantle. He would have got up and shot me, but since I was about to get the injection, he had the benefit of enjoying the show. the Count rose and asked for a word with me in the corridor.
When we got there he undid my shackles and said, "Hit me in the chest" and winked. I gave him a crooked smile and clocked him one and bolted, not such a bastard afterall, I thought. As I made my way down the stone steps I could hear the count run in and yell, "He's escaping!, He's escaping!". I made my way through the main hall and past reception area, no one was tailing me yet. As I made it into the courtyard the gate was closing and guards were coming around from the left side. I hadn't looked right yet but it was the best way to go and I jumped among the hay bails and crawled into the barn. I scared the shit out of the horses and they led the guards to me, but I had made it to the upper level and onto the roof by then. I jumped and just cleared the manor walls, landing with a hard thump, i was scratched and bruised, but no breaks. As I started to run once again I turned my head to look back at what I had escaped, I could see Harvey in one of the towers, facing east with a sighted rifle. That fucker will never get me from here though, the sense of peace and fulfillment that came about me was something I haven't felt in a long time. I took one last look at the manor and thought about the Count, wondering how'd he get out of that shithole.
User Reviews
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-08 00:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope, you are not alone
***
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2005-08-08 00:39:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
i thought this was Uber-Madness and not, long drawn out pieces of turd.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 11:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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