Win a Date!, Or Kristen Begins A New Profession As A Pimpette (4224 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 108 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kristen (View user info) at 2004-10-11 03:45:34 EDT
What lady out there would not want a man like DonkeyOnTheEdge?
Hey, you in the back-Shut your twat.
-Ahem-
As I was saying, DonkeyOnTheEdge is a man amongst men. He stands at approximately 5' tall. No, he is not short. You're all freakishly tall. He is a complete chauvanistic pig and will oft times randomly IM you with such charming one-liners as:
FallingDonkey: Whats up, B cup?
And when PWNED with:
kristen: not much, 3-inch
He will bend over and spread his buttcheeks in defeat. He has homeorotic dreams of falling atop a bed of spiked peeners. He has an affinity for hookers and blows carabou with unbelievable enthusiasm. He will bed you after purchasing copius amounts of alcohol. He masturbates in the shower on a regular basis, so rest assured that he can last a mind-blowing eleven seconds in the sack. He wears pretty polka dotted panties without panties underneath and will coyly flash you when you least want or expect it.
Humina Humina.
For a piece of DonkeyOnTheEdge, PayPal me $11,000 pounds or approximately $2 USD.
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-15 10:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you quit hookin', Loren.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-10-14 14:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAH!!! I love a woman who fights back... and PWNS.
I'm seriously considering getting a license plate that reads "PWNED" - how ridiculous would that be?
It may not be a good idea though... with my history, it's best to stay as undetectable as possible when it comes to law enforcement...
OK. I'm done.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-10-14 01:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 For screwing up currency. It happens to the best of us.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2004-10-13 19:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm down with D.O.T.E, yeh you know me.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-10-13 13:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-10-12 18:57:12 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you 3USD
...but it won't be a date, he has to do my laundry and dust my house for me.
----------------------
Looks like he needs to do his own laundry first, aaaaaaannnnd, by the look of the picture, he's already been dusted.
Submitted by Thereisnogod (user info) at 2004-10-13 11:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ladies and Gentlemen, AXLE ROSE JR...
"Dodge Different"
Submitted by dudette (user info) at 2004-10-13 04:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bid a bucket of maltesers.
Yes, I have a bucket of maltesers.
I hope you all know what maltesers are.
Submitted by Fish3000 (user info) at 2004-10-12 19:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"And when PWNED with:...."
This is my only complaint.
Submitted by SwissCamel (user info) at 2004-10-12 19:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-10-12 18:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you 3USD
...but it won't be a date, he has to do my laundry and dust my house for me.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-10-12 18:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kr-Kristen?? As in *THE* Kristen? As in my KWISSY? Is...is that YOU? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? (I mean, aside from having a baby.) :: sniffle :: I've MISSED you.
Phoenix
Submitted by Ancius (user info) at 2004-10-12 10:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Buy one get one free?
WEIRRRRRRRRD.
Submitted by Boces - Licious <Jesus.at.ohmyGod.com> at 2004-10-12 09:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeren soa jh opa and u tell me do things i don't run in them i want some chocalte you fork is good yah
m
mmmm
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
i love boces
boces loves me
svoi nwd wgierg hwerioqwp bneironber
BOCES POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Sekeeth (user info) at 2004-10-12 02:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-12 02:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TYPOS!!!
Mike, this was certainly not a hate post directed at Lee. He's great. Yes, I was bored. Yes, I was drunk.
But in any event, who *wouldn't* want DonkeyOnTheEdge? Yum.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-10-12 02:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-10-12 01:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spread em.
For Murphy.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2004-10-11 23:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 06:16:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
She wasn't lying when she said three inch. I'm Irish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 06:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sooooooooooo.............. Where are the offers? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!
*****************************************************
I would give $5,000 for that hot piece of meat!
And he is much larger than 3 inches, for those of you interested.
:)
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-10-11 21:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's my dedication post, bitch?
Submitted by ValakasDemon at 2004-10-11 21:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You spelled "homoerotic" wrong.
This is one Most Heated now, #5 with 74 heat.
What's the price on Kristen? How about a +2 to all of her posts?
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2004-10-11 21:14:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Everything you noted about Donkey describes me down to the panties--that's only on special occasions. As Machiavelli says, "A man who wishes to make a profession of goodness in all things must necessiarly come to ruin amongst so many who are not good; therefore, it is neccessary to learn how to not be good, and use this knowledge, and not use it, according to the neccisity of the case."
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-11 18:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Humina, humina indeed. I bid approximately thirtyseven cents, some pocket lint, and a used piece of chewing gum. Beat THAT, bitches.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-10-11 18:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
$11,000 pounds
===============
What are dollar pounds? They sound pretty weak to me.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-10-11 18:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was going to be about Mark. Now Ashlee sad. :(
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-11 17:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too bad Shitfuck's post isn't heated anymore.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2004-10-11 17:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet they call him Mister Toad. Does that.. thing around your head say 'Different'? That's pretty gay.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-10-11 15:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bid 159 pounds...of solid man.
Giggidy!
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-10-11 14:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you were intoxicated when this was written.
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-10-11 14:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Actually some studies have shown that masterbating on a regular basis can actually have a positive effect on lenght of intercourse...
You misspelled "caribou".
The title was very trixie! Very Trixie! You tried to trixie us!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:46:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
i bet three quarters, two rusty papers clips, and the condoms i used on spedmonkey's mom that he stole out of the trash can.
-------------------------
Dammit, how'd you know?
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
>>>He wears pretty polka dotted panties without panties underneath
what?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i bet three quarters, two rusty papers clips, and the condoms i used on spedmonkey's mom that he stole out of the trash can.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bid two quarters, a rusty paperclip, and two used condoms.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You spelled "caribou" wrong.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-11 13:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
thats like, a reverse mullet
Submitted by Martyn_Steiner (user info) at 2004-10-11 12:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I really, really dont care.
Oh, and the pound is stronger than the US dollar, so you'd actually get more dollars for your pound. You twat.
Submitted by FallenZer0 (user info) at 2004-10-11 12:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd tap that =D
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-11 10:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kristen looks good in that picture... Don't you think?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-10-11 10:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"What's up, B cup?"
Why the hell didn't I think of that?!??
Well, see you queers later... I'm off to get laid!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-11 10:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is THAT a picture of?
She is not cute.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-11 09:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-11 07:14:03 (#)
Ranking: -1
Kristin honey, are you drunk or something? Is this supposed to be a hate post? WTF?
Oh, and you must be really, really bored. 2 posts yesterday, 2 posts today.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-11 09:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh please...more like 2 and a half minutes.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 07:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Feeling the heat now baby!!!
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-11 07:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever seen someone you just wanted to head butt. When I look at your picture I just wanna slam my forehead against the screen.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-10-11 07:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if we want most heat
ed, then we need reviews more
here is my hitwhore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/47827
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-11 07:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Kristin honey, are you drunk or something? Is this supposed to be a hate post? WTF?
Oh, and you must be really, really bored. 2 posts yesterday, 2 posts today.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-11 06:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shlongy and Triple Optics will go in together for a dollar a piece.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-10-11 06:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you take $1?
How 'bout a dolla fifty?
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 06:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She wasn't lying when she said three inch. I'm Irish.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 06:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sooooooooooo.............. Where are the offers? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-10-11 06:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that donkey, he's so hot right now
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31030
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:53:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEAT!!!!!
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
feel
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEAT
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YEEEEEHAAAAAWWWWW
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOHOOOOO
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I'll help with your goal of most heated.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have to break 52
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
would
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I can get this on most heated.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonder
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A more flattering picture of myself here.... http://www.ubersite.com/m/45809
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Geez, he's the love child of Judd Nelson and Corey Feldman.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If he dress's up like an old lady, and calls himself betty...then...
with you watching, giving words of encouragement. Maybe a few high fives...
Actually...
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-10-11 05:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I took Kristen out to dinner one time. I was even nice enough to pick her up afterward.
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking idiots the lot of you
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
he looks like this kid that grew up bye me and raped old ladies
but he's in jail now
i hope
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you think he has a third eye under that bandana? Or a hideous mole?
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*Wants a chance to 'learn him proper' and cut that mop*
..okay, I wanna steal the bandana while he's asleep. stfu. 12,001 pounds.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
POON!!!
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, oh! I bid.. 12,000 Pounds sterling!
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you win a date with Donkey.. so.. take yourself somewhere nice for dinner. McDonalds is always a good choice!
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its spelled, "caribou". Found the error. What do I win?
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well
cacophony
not
calophony
bye
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mockidol, mockidol, he was shit scraped from the sole,
Of my shoe, he was smelly poo, so I laied him out to dry.
Thank God I can't hear Tigre my foot up your ass mr. Proefficiency expert. :3
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nevermind tigre, it's retarded trying to talk through this shit.
no you didn't write rape as a title.
fuck it, uh yeah
fuck you neewbie
something like that, whatever...
poem you say?
tigre, tigre, tigre
i made him out of clay
tigre, tigre, tigre
and made sure he was gay
nice, whatever
what up kristen?
fuck it, thank god we don't have to actually hear tigre
Calophony for sure
dada, dada, dada...
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wrote rape as a head thing? Whaaat? D:
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whore! Trying to sell donkey for money just weeks after the death of his cousin, DOTS.
Have you no shame? Or bras.. you know.. ones you don't want anymore. Cause uh.. I know someone who needs some.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no i just mean writing "rape" as your title won't work everyday like it did today.
by real i mean intelligent thought out stuff.
check this name's info, all bad hits and ratings, all bad posts
except for one.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Krisstteeeenn? Can you give me a pet name? Pleeeeease? :3
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
..real? So people WANNA read about the pimple on my ass thats been driving me crazy?! WOW! KICKASS!
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that's not hard tigre
just write something real anytime and people will actually look at it
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man. I just thought I'd take a second to let you know I kicked all of your asses. Within like 3 hours, and 2 posts, I racked in:
# Hits: 390
PWNADGE. SUCKEM. SUCK MY BALLS.
Love you guys.
<3
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just realised.. IM ON TOP OF KRISTEN NOW! WHOOOOO!
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
blah, blah, blah
how much for kristen?
maybe by one get one?
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bring forth the champagne, unchain Maestro Bocelli!
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OMFG she talked to me omg <3
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do..also..* *shakes his head to himself..*
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Silly Donkey.
Tigre, you're an odd lil newbie, ain'tcha?
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd him..
after I did you. ;-o ooooh
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just because you aren't on IM anymore doesn't mean I can't stalk you...
Rape.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, apollo, I tried to steal this from you: PayPal me $11,000 pounds or approximately $2 USD.
and I screwed it all up. :o(
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll give him a sympathy wank if he washes his hair.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAT
MMMMMMMATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That pic was befor the Con, Matt. And I've washed it since. Twice.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pfft. You know you like younger meat, Kristen.
Like me.
Pedophile.
Oh, and Donkey, remember when I put that wig down my pants?
Yeah, me too.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He wears pretty polka dotted panties without panties underneath and will coyly flash you when you least want or expect it.
PayPal me $11, 000 pounds
Ok, I found two typos...who can find another one!?!
Fuck you Assh0ly, you soggy bowl of cornflakes.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"PayPal me $11, 000 pounds"
Dollar pounds, eh? Damn this centralised World currency.
Jackin' off in the shower is one of the three Great Pleasures of Gimon.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fucken.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot to mention my freakishly large ego.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this before or after you blocked me on instant messenger?
I never IM you anyway, so why would you block me?
Wait-- I never IM you.
Nevermind.
But seriously.. unblock me.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-10-11 03:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where be my scrambled eggs?