Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. (2832 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.78 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PAS (View user info) at 2004-10-13 15:58:01 EDT
So I've been off the radar for a while and while this site is not a blog or even a bog (which would be quite handy for the Shreks amongst us) I'd like to take this opportunity to update you guys with what I've been up to recently.
* I've been on two radio shows and really enjoyed the experience. Half a mind to make it a more regular experience or even get my own weekly show (which could possibly be arranged).
* Learning to play golf. Not to be a corporate suck-up as I have no intention of playing with the boss.
* Attending a creative writing course - am actually being forced to write short stories and not forever procrastinate on places like Uber. Can only be a good thing :o)
* Studying financial planning - so that when I'm a wealthy socialite/ win the lottery / find 5p in the street I can handle my own affairs and not have to ask advice from some guttersnipe who'll cream off my rewards. Glurk.
* Joined a monthly book-club. That may help me get through the 40 or so books I own and have never read. But they make me look good, sitting on the shelves so purdy and uncreased.
* Gym - bah and humbug, but I've been going 4-5 times a week for the last few months. Now if I can only find someone to play badminton with.
* Increasing my 'cultural' pleasures. Saw the play 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' in the West End. Christian Slater plays RP McMurphy the role so famously brought to life by Jack Nicholson. Slater strips to his undies in the second half so it's worth going just for that :¬) Saw the Shawshank Redemption in the cinema (one-off showing to coincide with the DVD release), fantastic experience. Will be checking out the London Film Festival for the latest worldwide flicks this autumn.
* And finally, most importantly - I'm getting hitched next summer. In a Scottish castle! You might recognise the castle as it was in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.
Love and hugs to all who know me - and remember - there is more to life than Ubersite!
PAS
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-21 04:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-05-21 04:14:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just try to avoid any talk about swallows. In fact if anyone mentions any type of birf or coconuts follow these simple instructions:
1. Ignore this rule it's only 28% effective, look at step 2
2. RUN AWAY!
3. Rinse and repeat, always rinse and repeat
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-21 03:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great Bobs think alike.
Anyway, that is without question the greatest place anybody could do anything, especially get married.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-26 05:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PAS rules.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-10-14 13:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for all the messages of congratulations. Will show you some photos of the wedding next year when it's all said and done. And I like the suggestion of refering to the Monty Python film - we're having a civil ceremony so can include any shit we like - poetry, readings, our own vows, just imagine:
Mrs PAS <turning to Mr PAS> - ...I promise to love, honour and obey you. Hold on a minute, I'm not agreeing to that. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction.
God : What are you doing now?
Mr and Mrs PAS : Averting our eyes, oh Lord.
God : Well, don't. It's just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing.
------
Registrar : You only killed the bride's father, you know.
Best Man : Well, I didn't mean to.
Registrar : Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.
Best Man : Oh dear... is he all right?
etc
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-14 00:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd play badminton with you.
Congratulations on your engagement!
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-10-14 00:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't know you, but +2 for Monty Python.
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-14 00:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've got enough culture to last a lifetime.
Submitted by The_T_Man (user info) at 2004-10-14 00:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been to that castle. It's pretty badass.
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2004-10-13 21:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-10-13 21:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-13 18:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You made me have to scroll. Bad PAS.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-10-13 18:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by tlovess (user info) at 2004-10-13 18:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot think of a cooler place to get married.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2004-10-13 17:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, that's the coolest place I've ever heard of someone getting married.
Congratulations!
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-10-13 17:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats! You seriously have to include a line from the film in it at some point.
Submitted by project_nessa (user info) at 2004-10-13 17:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2004-10-13 17:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a +2.
It's very nice.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-10-13 15:59:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, Wendy!
Oh, and it's only a model
__________________________
it's only a model.
shhhhh!
haha
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now run away before we taunt you a second time-ah!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet location for a wedding.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cuz I don't wanna stray from the herd.
"and remember - there is more to life than Ubersite!"
that ruined my day :)
I don't know you, but congrats on your engagement!
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never knew that place really existed. Best place to get married. EVAR.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sekeeth (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll bring the bovine and the catapult...
Submitted by boredgurl210 (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:01:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I come to the wedding and pretend to be the French guy?
_____
my fucking god i was thinking the same thing.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I come to the wedding and pretend to be the French guy?
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-10-13 16:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Run aawwwwwaaaaay!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-10-13 15:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, Wendy!
Oh, and it's only a model.