Adult ADD + The Cajun Mafia (785 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.5 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SlowlyRotting <therickva.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-10-17 15:07:05 EDT
Did you know that you can't write a check at Wegmans unless you have one of their STUPID FUCKING DISCOUNT BONUS BUY HAPPY CRAPPY CLUB cards??? What the fuck is this? Sam's? I just want to buy a gallon of milk so I can pour it into my neighbor's car through the crack he always leaves in his window. I figured it's the LEAST I can do since he wakes me up every morning at 5am when he apparently rearranges his dining room by dragging all of the chairs around without lifting them up from the hardwood floor.
GTA SA comes out soon. Man oh fucking man will I call in sick for a week when it does. I don't know how I feel about having to play as a BLACK or HISPANIC character, as I am one racist motherfucker. Shit, I slashed my own tires because they was black. I think it's because I was raped by a three toothed crackhead prostitute when I was 11, she was blacker than the tar between Hillary Clinton's pussy lips. And she kept scraping those 3 fucking teeth on my dick head. Fucking whore.
I have a damn headache. My asshole is burning from the 3 days of Chipolte burritos I've eaten. (or maybe from that wild gay sex I had with the bum that sleeps on my back porch) (yeah okay) Anyway, those stupid fucking shielded robots on the CIS side in Star Wars Battlefront keep kicking my ass. (kinda reminds me of the little black armored turtles from Super Mario Bros on NES, me and my other 8 year old friends called them the 'Protected Niggers') I have tried everything I can do to win, but those fucking bastards piss me off. I'm alright as long as I stick to the galactic civil war era.
I had something funny to say, which is why I originally logged onto Uber, but since then I have forgotten what it was, so I'll just keep rambling on.
Oh yeah, 'Walking Tall' kicked ass. I never really liked The Rock before since he is obviously capitalizing on the nickname I've had since college (The Rick), but oh well, fuck it, whatever. I have to pick my wife back up tonight so I called my boss' voicemail and told him she was coming in tomorrow morning, just so I can sleep late again tomorrow. Fuck it, Monday sucks anyway.
What else? Oh yeah, I tried to buy something on eBay from this bitch 'rev.heilanewman' who claims to be some sort of Reverand and got ripped off. I'm gonna drive to Oklahoma and kill her fucking ass. I figure now is a good time to incrimate myself by placing her contact info onto the internet.
Heila Newman
807 Chestnut
Muskogee, OK 74402
heilanewman.at.sbcglobal.net
website listed as:
www.heilashouse.com
918-348-0427 (phone)
918-682-0602 (fax)
(Also uses the name Tracy Redford, but this may be her lesbian roomate)
OK enough of that. You all know I used to be a cop and I know exactly what the fuck I've just done so don't give me your bullshit about "oh man you are sooo gonna get busted now". Fuck that, I'll just take the body and leave it in a chair in the nearest Chevy Chase bank, the customer service there won't notice it for AT LEAST another 3 years, and by then it will have sufficiently decomposed as not to be identifiable.
And by the way, my father just got another promotion at the agency he works for, which if any of you pay attentional will note that The Agency he works for can make people disappear pretty easily.. hell, they did it with the WMDs just to aggravate Bush.
Son of a bitch! My wife just left me a voicemail that she missed her plane, because she arrived 5 minutes before instead of 30 minutes before. What the fuck? How come this shit never happens to me? I'd have put the fucking smackdown on thoise motherfuckers. So I may not get to sleep late tomorrow after all.
And there is such a thing as The Cajun Mafia. My mom's family is proof.
User Reviews
Submitted by touch_faith (user info) at 2004-10-18 16:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-10-17 17:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Guidos on parade
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-10-17 17:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you put the title up AFTER you wrote this post.
Because it is really accurate.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-10-17 15:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GTA SA comes out soon. Man oh fucking man will I call in sick for a week when it does.
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Werd.
P.S. The guy all the way to the right looks like the father from The Wonder Years.