Sick (818 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Julia (View user info) at 2004-10-18 17:10:43 EDT
While I was sleeping, the Disease Fairy replaced the inside of my throat with a cheese grater. My breath rasped and rattled, and occasionally I was gripped by a fit of coughing that left me lightheaded and white around the eyes. My sinuses were filled with neon sludge.
I was sick.
I changed into a long, cotton nightie and settled into bed to rest. I lay as I usually do, nearly on my stomach, with one knee slung high. The long slit in my nightie let the air from the open window cool my legs. I heard my husband come home from work. He knew I wasn't feeling well. Maybe he brought me some soup.
He came into the bedroom but didn't say anything. I heard rustling. He couldn't be . . . surely . . . yes, he was. Taking off his pants.
"I love that nightgown on you," he said.
I rolled onto my back. "Honey, I'm really sick." I coughed feebly.
"If you turn back over, you won't breathe on me," he answered.
He's sick too.
User Reviews
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, yeah...
It's all coming back to me now....
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2004-10-20 03:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here at my house we call that my "not to-Night Gown"
Michelle
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2004-10-20 02:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Awesome. If true, let him read your post.
Submitted by propertie_fenspost (user info) at 2004-10-20 02:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm, when I'm sick, I usually say I feel like I've swallowed a grater. I like your anaolgy better.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-10-18 23:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best chick post evar. Probably...
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-18 23:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy crap
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2004-10-18 23:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lucky bastard.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-18 19:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There should be a "Category: Hero" for stuff like this!
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-18 19:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-18 19:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God I love hearing about misfortune. Nice description with the cheese grater thing, yeah, that made my stomach burst.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-18 18:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-10-18 18:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*sigh*
Why do boys always think either 1. you dont mind being a sex slave or 2. they can 'help you get better' by trying to get you 'in the mood'
...........................
scientific fact: sex acts as an antihystamine(fuck spelling that) and actually WILL make you feel better.
SEE? we really do it all for you ladies
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:13:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
*sigh*
Why do boys always think either 1. you dont mind being a sex slave or 2. they can 'help you get better' by trying to get you 'in the mood'
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Nice stereotype, just like all women care about is shopping?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
Submitted by Julia (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tidal, I hurt my arm on our honeymoon by slipping in the shower, busting open my chin and doing something very wrong to my elbow. He made me lay on the bed to see if anything was broken and then we had sex. One-track mind, that boy. Glad I married him.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you just gave me pertussis.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What? Where's the rest of the story?
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2004-10-18 17:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*sigh*
Why do boys always think either 1. you dont mind being a sex slave or 2. they can 'help you get better' by trying to get you 'in the mood'