Why you shouldn't piss in the shower. (NSFYM) (1085 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: -1 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by glufen <pronounced gluphen> (View user info) at 2004-10-18 18:33:58 EDT
Mainly because you'll get covered in it and smell like piss all day.
So we flushed George down the toilet. He was caught floating at the top of the tank, and that usually means death for goldfish. I didn't like him anyway, he always stared, and never would do anything but swim around. I also could tell that if he could, he was jump out and kill us all. I also could never add a different kind of fish to the damn tank because apparently, goldfish produce ammonia which will kill the others. Basicaly goldfish fill the tank with piss and kill the other fish, and then continue to grow. Homicidal maniacs if you ask me.
So George was finally gone and there was much rejoicing. There were fireworks, endless food buffets, and music. Lots of music.. Ok none of that really happened. But, the fucker was dead so we could finally get some more better fishesses. Fishs. Fish? You spell it. I'm stupid. Or so we thought...
The next day, George was back. This time with legs. He was bigger too and was walking around and was eating that cat's food. This made the cat mad, and it tried to eat George. The only problem was that George was twice its size and he ate the cat instead. The cat wasn't very friendly, so it didn't bother us at all. The thing that was bothering us was he kept chewing on the carpet and putting holes in it. So we set out to kill him for good. We tried shooting at him with rifles, but he was too fast. Setting him on fire didn't work because he was a fish and they live underwater. Ok so this fish wasn't underwater, but for some reason this didn't work either. We eventually got him to eat some cat food laced with rat poison, and he died. He dried out and we set him on fire, but by doing this we accidentally set the whole apartment building on fire.
Two years later, we still can't get an apartment because of the whole fire incident. Oh well apartments suck. George actually survived and joined the circus and is a millionaire now. Just my luck. You try to kill someone and they pay you back by leaving you and becoming rich. Bastard.
The lesson in this story is don't piss down the drain in your shower because that goldfish you flushed will come back and be big and join the circus. Either that or you'll turn gay.
User Reviews
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-11-07 21:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
BLASPHEMY
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-07 21:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Still awful.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-18 21:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Going with a +2 because while I didn't laugh, I most definitely smiled throughout the idiocy above. And not necessarily due to the idiocy, but because it was well written idiocy.
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-10-18 20:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-10-18 20:34:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
does NSFYM mean 'Not Safe for your Mom'
------------------------------------------------------------
Sure does...
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-10-18 20:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does NSFYM mean 'Not Safe for your Mom'?
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-10-18 20:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you mean not too good? This really happened!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-18 20:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not too good.
Submitted by Untitled_User (user info) at 2004-10-18 19:21:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE EVER SEEN
I'M TAKING YOU TO GET A PIZZA!!!
fuck you haters... this is a well written post
Submitted by Mitchell (user info) at 2004-10-18 18:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because it envolved fireproof, cat eating, super fish
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-10-18 18:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently it can cure Athlete's Foot, though. Haven't tried myself, mind...
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-18 18:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Keepin the streak alive...
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-10-18 18:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-18 18:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stupidest post ever!