Sticks and Stones (688 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.7 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lutes <absolutes18.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-10-18 20:46:31 EDT
Part of being in high school is having one of those long-term relationships that eat you up inside when it ends.
The bright side? Just like high school itself, teenage heartbreak doesn't last forever.
Throughout my third year, people often referred to Graham and me as "the perfect couple." We hit it off in grade nine when we met at a school dance and became fast friends. Our grade difference made it difficult to hang out, so instead we talked to each other online everyday. All the signs of me liking him were there: I was excited when his name came online, I stayed up late to talk to him, and I frequently rehashed details of our conversations with my girlfriends. Finally, in March of the following year, Graham and I became an official couple. Although we had hooked up via the traditional grade school route of "will you be my girlfriend?" our relationship was anything but elementary.
Graham and I fell in love, as best as sixteen-year-olds can. We were inseparable during that first year of infatuation. We had classes together, ate lunch together, and made plans with each other most days of the week. My male companions gradually became his new best friends while I formed close relationships with his mother and sister. Everything seemed picture perfect; Graham and I never argued, our families approved, and we loved every minute we spent together.
Nonetheless, as all couples do at some point in their relationship, we soon fell into a rut. Graham was increasingly possessive and jealous of the time I spent with other males he hadn't met. He wanted to be with me every time I was free, and I found myself wanting to spend more time with my girlfriends and all the new people we had become acquainted with during the summer. I began to feel suffocated in our repetitive routine and pulled away as a result. Soon I was even lying to Graham in order to hang out with some of my older guy friends that he hated and had previously forbidden me to see. These lies, as lies often do, caught up to me and broke his trust. In addition to our arguments, I began to doubt our declarations of being together forever. We had been dating for a year and a half, but Graham was my first real boyfriend. How could I possibly know that this was the one for me without having experienced anything else?
My girlfriends saw we were having trouble and urged me to dump him, as they were not particularly fond of how often I was with him instead of them. They felt that I needed to be single at this point in my life, and a large part of me missed the freedom being single entailed. Confused and naturally influenced by their opinions, I decided to break up with Graham using the explanation of needing time apart to figure out what I really wanted.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done.
The next month was an overwhelming wave of tears, hurt, resentment and loneliness. Graham became very depressed; one minute he would plead his love for me, then bitterly denounce my character the next. Our mutual friends divided loyalties, his family showed antipathy towards me, and our own friendship seemed irreparable. School became an uncomfortable place as people I didn't even know started to make derogatory remarks about me. I had known beforehand that breaking up would be a difficult process, but once we actually experienced it, it seemed like the end of the world.
My story, however, has a fortunate ending. We had come to a standstill in our relationship, but as unhappy as I had felt before, it could not compare with how miserable I became without him. With each passing day I realized that I truly did want to be with him. I loved his humour, his kindness, and his patience. I missed when he would hold me for no reason other than he wanted to have me as close to him as possible. The time and distance apart helped me fully appreciate what I had in front of me all along; luckily Graham was willing to forgive the whole ordeal, and we have recently started on a fresh page.
Not every couple will get back together. Breakups can be extremely painful, but it is important to try and ignore any angry words that follow. Someone who breaks up with you might be insensitive to your feelings, or someone you break up with might try to make you feel bad because they are dealing with their own pain. There will also be other people who feel they need to have an opinion about everything, such as your ex's friends, in which case unfair rumours or biased opinions may form. My girl friends were not thrilled with my decision for Graham and me to become a couple again, but through all of this I have learned that I should do what makes myself happy, not what makes other people happy. Remind yourself that it will get better, no matter how much it hurts or what anyone else says.
After all, words are just words, regardless if they're used to pick you up or put you down.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-10-19 09:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good god, a new user who doesn't suck apes balls.
+fucking2
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-10-19 05:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lutes:
I dated a girl for a year and a half in high school. As you described. Best ever, etc; We broke up my senior year. It's been 8 years since we first started dating and about 7 since we first broke up. We're getting married next year (got back together tree years ago). So you never know. Just give yourself time to grow up.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-10-19 04:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking faggot high school schmucks.
Submitted by landyuk (user info) at 2004-10-19 04:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can totally relate to this...I think I'm in a similar rut with my girlfriend now after 10 months, but I know it would be too hard to be without her and I'm scared of seeing her with someone else if we broke up..that would finish me off, so for now I'm working through it and trying to distance ourselves abit as well.
God it's fucking hard being great!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-10-19 04:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in the lying stage right now...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-10-19 00:02:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ahahaha... all girls are such sluts. Thas why i luv em!
Submitted by Untitled_User (user info) at 2004-10-18 23:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this seriously sounds like part of my life, except i was "graham." we started in her freshman year, my sophomore year. went all the way through high school, and after 3 years and 11 months, and being engaged, this happens. trust breaks. I didn't want her to hang out with her friends. I wanted her to be with me. of course there were other reasons, but i'd say trust was the biggest issue.took a fucking month of depression... and it still carried on after that. but we got back together, and now it's been over 4 and a half years of love. the time apart, in my opinion, has made us stronger. We are getting married this next January. She is my first, and only true love.
Submitted by MrCoffee (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emo, yet good
well i'll be damned
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Unless one loses a precious thing he will never know its true value. A light scratches the darkness, and the exhausted one faces his shattered dream realizing his path cannot be walked. Is there anyway a man can live happily without embracing his wounded heart?"
I remember my break up with the one i loved at one time. It was hell needless to say and being horribly sick and locked up in my room all alone didnt help much. There are some times i wish i could change some of the things that happened, but then i think i wouldnt be who i am today if things hadnt of happened the way they did.
Submitted by Testicleus (user info) at 2004-10-18 20:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwww