I'm On To You! (453 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by russizm (View user info) at 2004-10-19 09:50:58 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
From an early age I could tell the difference between a sober father and a drunken one. Every day you would ignore your family and drink away your life in the garage. You hurt all of us for a very long time. I resented the way that you would treat my mother; I always expected this fight to be the "back breaker". Because of you I promised myself to never drink, to never treat my family the way that you treated yours.
It became a normal occurrence in my life to eat dinner with my mother and sister with you passed out on the couch. We had to tip-toe around the house so we wouldn't wake you and set off another tirade. All of us knew that you needed some serious rehabilitation, but you never acknowledged the problem.
When something was missing or broken, I was to blame. It was always my fault. "WHERE DID YOU PUT MY GOD DAMN KEYS, BOY?! I'M ON TO YOU!" or "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BREAK MY STEREO?!" I had to take it. Otherwise, you would have gone after my mom or younger sister.
The scariest moment in my young life was when you threatened it. You probably don't remember, but you were yelling at me for spilling a glass of milk and I tuned you out. I tried to think of something funny and I started laughing. You didn't understand why I was laughing. You pushed me against the wall with your hand around my neck, choking me.
"Yeah? You think THIS is funny?! Don't you DARE fucking laugh at me when I'm talking to you! LOOK AT ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT! Don't. Fucking. Laugh."
For the next few days I avoided all interaction with you but you didn't notice, or didn't care. Year after year there would be more incidents of the same result. My hatred for you continued to get stronger.
I had to teach myself how to shave, how to change oil, and cook on a grill. You missed so much of my life as a child that I couldn't wait for my mom to divorce you, but she never did. I don't know how she was so strong but she put up with twice as much shit as I did. She must have kept telling herself that things were going to get better. Luckily, they did.
In '99 you finally fucked up. You started driving after drinking again and got into an accident. After you were arrested it changed all of our lives forever. It finally got into your stubborn brain that you had a problem. The first few days afterwards made you feel like your life was over, but it was just beginning.
After months of driving you to AA meetings, you were able to conquer the evil and live life again. I saw you in the stands at my football games and you gave me bad advice on how to pick up chicks. You became my dad.
And when you caught me smoking weed you didn't flip out. You told me the stories of you hiding qp's under your pillow in the 70's. "Don't worry man, I won't tell your mom as long as you're working and keep your grades up." You became better at lying, too.
Life is so different now than it was just a few years ago. I was so scared of you hurting me. Now, you help me fix my car, watch sports with me, and cook a mean steak. I've always wanted to tell you that I appreciate what you've done, but both of us have never been good at dealing with emotions.
I know you will never read this. Even if you ever do happen to stumble upon this particular post on this particular site, you will never know that it was your son.
Thanks dad, I love you.
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-01-16 11:45:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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