Saving money on groceries = instant stress (622 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OrneryBastard (View user info) at 2004-10-20 16:36:02 EDT
Tell me, are poor people rude, inconsiderate, ignorant, uncivilized fucks because they're poor? Or are they poor because they're rude, inconsiderate, ignorant, uncivilized fucks? I don't mean to generalize the poverty-stricken. Surely there are many who are cultured and well-mannered. It's just that none of them shop at Food Basics.
Food Basics, for you non-Ontarians, is kinda like a discount grocery store. The produce is not what you'd call Grade-A. It's just as fresh and tastes just as good, but it's not as aesthetically appealing. The oranges might be half-green, for instance, and as a result the prices are considerably lower.
Now, I'm not wealthy by any means. In fact, I'm about as close to dirt-poor as you can get while still being able to live indoors. As such, value tends to be my top priority when grocery shopping. Value, in this case, means the purchasing less expensive food, as opposed to the value of an enjoyable shopping experience that doesn't raise my stress level and blood pressure and thereby reduce both the quality and the length of my life. That said, I will never, ever, ever, EVER shop at Food Basics again. I'm willing to pay double for my food rather than go through another 30 minutes of shopping hell.
Every time I go there, EVERY time, at least one of the following happens:
- Improper Shopping Cart Etiquette - Usually consists of three buggies side-by-side in an aisle with nary an owner to be found, although once I had the pleasure of being tailgated and heel-bashed not once, but twice by the same lady. I let her off with a glare the first time, but the second time I spun around and screamed, "What the hell are you doing? Do you not see me right in front of you?"
- Bastard Children Gone Wild - I use bastard in its formal definition as these kids are almost always accompanied by a single mother. These little fuckers can be seen running at top speed, screaming, and looking in any direction other than the one in which they are travelling, which is usually right at you. Raising your knee in an exaggerated walking fashion puts an end to their fun quickly, at least in theory. I haven't had the balls to test this one out yet, but I suspect that it will soon come to fruition.
- Parking Lot Hijinks - Probably the most infuriating of all. Consists of someone scooping a spot that you were clearly waiting for or someone taking up more than one parking spot. This is what happened to me today, the final straw. The parking lot was almost completely full, and the woman in front of me parked squarely in between two spots. I remained composed and drove to the other end of the lot, parked, and got out my pen. I wrote a note on a scrap piece of paper and nonchalantly slipped it under her wiper blade on my way into the store. It read, "Asshole, learn how to park or stay the fuck off the road. Thanks. Signed, A concerned bystander." Now I'm just waiting for someone to steal a spot from me so I can let the air out of his tires.
The funny thing is that I'm usually an even-tempered guy. I rarely suffer from road rage, or any other sort of rage for that matter, unless I'm going shopping. I fear it's only a matter of time until I completely snap and bludgeon someone to death with a bag of potatoes.
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User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-21 12:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All so true...I usually need to hit the gym and go twenty minutes with the speed bag immediately AFTER leaving the grocery store.
Submitted by monkey at 2004-10-20 21:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's annoying (those things, not your article).
Submitted by ornerybastard (user info) at 2004-10-20 18:01:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know you what you mean, Gnome. I'm not a real stickler when it comes to parking spots. If someone is reasonably close to it, he can have it. I'm talking about the spots that are obviously yours. The ones where you're waiting for a car to back out with your ticker on, then some cunt comes flying out of nowhere to usurp you. Those fuckers need to bleed.
P.S. I wouldn't normally +2 my own post, I just wanted to keep the fun going.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-10-20 17:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha. when i was much younger i almost got shitkicked by some guy who whought i was stealing his spot. he wasn't anywhere close to the spot and all the cars were on a 45 degree angle and he came barreling down the wrong way (so he wouldn't be able to pull into the spot anyway). CLEARLY the spot was his.
stupid people......arrrrrrrrRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by great_angst (user info) at 2004-10-20 16:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't been in years, but it reminds me of the last time I went into a Wal-Mart. What a nightmare.