Crazy Bitch - Part 4 (1474 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zandy1123 (View user info) at 2004-10-20 19:33:51 EDT
Sorry for the delay...there's a part 5 coming too.
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/42994
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/43116
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/43551
Psycho - Part 4
----------------------
The next day, I wandered into work late, comatose and overwhelmingly confused and freaked out from the previous night's events. I tried not to think about Sarah and the freakshow to which I was privy only a few hours earlier...but I couldn't help it. I mulled and dwelled and analyzed and contemplated and played some internet backgammon...after all, what else was I supposed to do? Work?
I replayed the whole evening's events in my head at least a dozen times when I came to a very startling realization: when Sarah had first called about getting weed and when I first declined her, I mentioned that I was planning on getting some the next day. I said this BEFORE I found out she was crazy.
Shit. If she called me out on that offer, what was I to do?
By the time the work day was wrapping up, I hadn't figured out what to do about the situation, other than just pretend it didn't happen. Maybe she would realize how crazy she acted, feel dumb and not call me back. Maybe she would just disappear if I didn't think about her. Denial rules.
Then the phone rang. I froze. Shit shit shit!! I looked at my caller ID...
"Sarah"
My heart sank...so much for the denial thing.
"Hello?"
"Hi Andrew. How are you?"
"Uhhh...good. Just finishing up at work."
"Hey, listen...last night, you mentioned you were getting the hookup...can you get some for me too?"
---sidebar---
I'm bad at saying no.
---end sidebar---
So, I told her I'd help her out, not even mentioning anything about the night before. To keep the situation as clean as possible, I told her I would stop at her place to pick up her cash and then I would return later with the goods.
When I hung up the phone, my state of terror drifted more toward curious excitement. I was going to her apartment! I was getting weed for a total stranger. Well, not a TOTAL stranger...I did rub her feet afterall. The whole situation offered me a chance to confirm Sarah's level of crazy...or perhaps she would prove not to be so crazy! Riiiiight...
The plan was set, so I headed over to Sarah's apartment. She lived in this RIDICULOUS place in one of the most wealthy areas in Connecticut...she must have been paying at least $1600 a month for rent. I made my way up the dimly-lit, spiral staircase at the rear of the building. As I neared the door, the foul stench of crazy grew ever stronger...and I could see Sarah inside. I knocked.
She opened the door,
"Andrewwwww!!! How are you?!?" Sarah said, hugging me.
She ushered me into her kitchen and invited me to have a seat. I sat down at her kitchen table. Instantly, I started noticing things about the room that were slightly out of the ordinary, like what appeared to be crayon-scribble on the kitchen walls. Strange, poetic verbiage strewn about the white plaster with no rhyme or reason or complete sentences. Just random short phrases. There was a crudely drawn picture of Albert Einstein on her pantry door. Sarah must have seen me staring in wonder at the crayon mathfro, because immediately started telling me about her tendancy to do weird and impulsive things like draw on the walls of her new apartment. The Einstein portrait was her most recent work, inspired by nothing other than her very own insanity.
Sarah offered me a glass of wine. I declined, but she insisted...there was no saying no to this one.
I finished my glass quickly so I could get her cash and split. It was obvious, though, that Sarah was in no rush for me to leave. She showed me around her apartment, which was small, but very nicely appointed. In the corner of her bedroom, I noticed several uniformly-shaped cardboard boxes.
"What are these for?" I asked.
"Oh, I don't know...those showed up yesterday. It's a bunch of computer printers. I didn't order them, but they're addressed to me." Sarah responded,
"Isn't that weird? Strange things like this always happen to me!"
Weird indeed. I didn't really know what to think or say. I did know, however, that I wanted to get out of that apartment and get the show on the road. Sarah offered more wine, but I declined more vehemently. I finally got out by insisting that I would be back in an hour, greenery in hand...Sarah was keen on getting her nuggets.
Fast forward one hour. It was an incredibly productive hour. I managed to get the hookup, stop at my apartment, change out of my work clothes, eat a quick dinner, balance my checkbook AND enjoy a quick round of Battletoads. Yes, this is my life people.
I made it back to Sarah's place and once again proceeded up the spiral staircase of doom. The stairs were even more dimly than they were earlier. When I reached the top of the stairs, I noticed that Sarah's kitchen lights were off and she had turned off her outside light. Weird.
Sarah was nowhere in sight, but I knocked on the door and peered into the window. A single candle was burning on the kitchen table and a light was on in the next room, Sarah's bedroom.
She appeared from her bedroom with the phone up to her ear. She opened the door, gestured an apology for being on the phone and again invited me to sit.
The candle cast wavering, uneven light as I sat at her kitchen table and started divying up the goodies. Sarah returned to her bedroom and continued her phone conversation. She sat at the edge of her bed, which was no more than 15 feet from my position at her table. I could hear every word of her conversation, loud and clear. It was almost as though she wanted me to hear her what she was saying...so I obliged and listened to every word.
And the more I listened, the more concerned I grew...
"I don't know why this always happens. Everytime I meet a guy I like...I do something to mess it up!" she said,
"I don't know what gets into me...it's like I can't control myself. It's like I meet a hot guy and everything's going fine, then I just do something crazy!"
Short pause...
"I mean, I know I would make such a great mother...I just need to find the right guy to give me a chance," continued Sarah,
"I just want to prove it. I want to prove it to a nice guy."
This same pattern of crazy talk continued for, I shit you not, at least 10 minutes. I sat listening in sheer bewilderment. It was plainly obvious after the first couple minutes that Sarah wasn't really talking to anyone on the other end of that phone. She sat at the edge of her bed, pretending to be on the phone, speaking so loudly that I could hear every word...so that she could have a forum for telling me how great and crazy she is.
And she didn't stop! She just kept on talking...and I just kept on listening.
Eventually, I got up from the table, walked into her room and gestured that I was leaving. Sarah responded with a finger, as if to say "Can't you just wait one crazy minute!?!?"
I wasn't having any of it, so I headed for the door. Sarah "hung up" the phone can came running after me.
"You're not leaving yet!"
"Yeah, I haveta get going - I need to catch up on sleep after such a late night last night."
Sarah's lower lip crept out...I opened the door and slid through.
"Are you going to call me?"
"Yeah...sure...I just need to get going..."
"Are we going to be friends?"
"Sure..."
"Promise?!?"
"Yeah...of course. I'll talk to ya..."
At that, I turned and bolted down the spiral staircase. When I got to my car, I peeked over my shoulder...no Sarah in sight. I was free!!!
I started my car. I HAD to call someone. I had to tell someone right away about the freakiness I just experienced. But who?! Who would understand? Who would care?
Ryan! Ryan would care. And Ryan's on voice dial...pretty convenient as I peeled out of Sarah's crazy driveway.
"RYAN!!!"
"Hey...what's up, nizzle?"
"Holy shit, dude. Did a girl named Sarah ever call you?"
"Whoa, dude...I meant to ask you about that. She called me last week...she said that she had met you at a bar and that you gave her my number. She called me asking for your number because she lost it..."
My jaw dropped. She pulled the same fucking scheme on me...I'd been had!!!
.
.
.
Sarah's crazy level topped out way higher than I had anticipated. In fact, I don't have much experience with crazies, so I would have to say she's the craziest bitch I've ever met.
For the next week or so, Sarah called me about 20-30 times per day. She even called me from unlisted numbers so that my caller ID wouldn't pick her up. But after numerous ignored calls and out-right hang-ups, I think she got the point because she just stopped calling.
Luckily, just days after this whole fiasco played out, I moved to a new apartment about 20 minutes away. There was no way for Sarah to know where I was moving or how to find me. I felt safe knowing that. I rested assured that I would never see Sarah again.
Perhaps I shouldn't have let my guard down...
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-11-15 13:33:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The true stories are always the best.
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait, nevermind...but it ALMOST did...
Submitted by Jabba_the_Shit (user info) at 2004-10-28 09:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AUTO Zandy -2.
See? It's easy!
Oh, man--this one looks like it busted up a chain, too....heehee
Submitted by unforgiven <boner909090.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-23 14:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey zanzabar, that was the funniest story ive read in awhile. We've had people crazier than that at the 4123.... im rollin my face off dude.... hahahaha
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-10-22 16:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by packofqtips (user info) at 2004-10-22 15:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is some good reading
Submitted by Millie_Grace (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i tried to give her the benefit of the doubt untill the fake
phone call, that is absolutly insane.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-21 15:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Moral of story. JUST SAY NO!!
Ha, actually this was good and
I enjoyed reading it.
Change your phone number Zandy!!
Ha!
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-21 10:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
toddska -
You speak the truth...I've been finding more and more people who say the same thing. I guess there are a lot of crazy Sarahs out there.
Now that I think about it, I had another run-in with a slightly-less-crazy Sarah in college. weird...
Submitted by toddska (user info) at 2004-10-21 10:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All chicks I know called Sarah are fucking mental.
Great Sarah post.
Submitted by Vanilla (user info) at 2004-10-21 05:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
more!!!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-10-21 04:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-10-21 00:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing I could say would make this better. nice work, dude.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-20 23:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus man how about a heads up post before you actually post? +2's for life bitch, I'm crazy like that.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-20 22:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
..more...MORE!!
Well written.
But seriously.
More.
..or cigar will eat you.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-20 21:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude i'm digging this, hurry up with more
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-20 20:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Part 5 is a shorty...
just a short addendum to the story...an exclamation point, if you will
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-20 19:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!!!!!!
XOXOXO
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-10-20 19:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Waiting in anticipation of part 5
-Davros
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-20 19:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-20 19:43:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just glad I only have to go against Ainkara and not you.
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haha...thanks, Degreeless.
you helped yourself by voting for Ainkara's entry and not mine :)
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-10-20 19:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-20 19:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just glad I only have to go against Ainkara and not you.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-10-20 19:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit...