I met her in a bar (1298 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.64 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by toddska <> (View user info) at 2004-10-21 13:41:19 EDT
I met her in a bar.
She gave off a very strange aura. It was a mixture of "schoolgirl slutty anal penetrative possibility" mixed with a cool yet faux "never gonna make it DJ but I need to be fucked hard" persona.
I was immediately hooked.
Anyway we were getting on famously. I laughed at the right times mainly because she was funny. She laughed at things that I suspected were not funny at all. She basically found me funny. Well this was good. If you make a chick laugh then you are halfway to the Valley of the Damp Panties I have found.
We were getting drunk. And then we were getting thrown out as last orders were all over. What to do. We had been talking so much that we had forgotten to lay the groundwork for the next move. This was a good sign.
So being Mr Super-Confident I tapped her up for further frolics on the way out.
"Why don't you come over to mine and we can smoke a bit, listen to some music and carry on?"
She eagerly agreed seeing my place was 5 mins away and in the city centre. This was becoming too easy. So here I am at 2am in the morning and I'm wondering if she's up for my predilection or not. I suspected she was.
After rolling over some good smoke and setting the mood nicely things started to get physical. She was warming up as I was giving her a neck massage seated in front of me on the floor. She then leaned her head back and discovered my hard-one pressing into the back of her head.
She didn't move her head.
That's when I started to make my hands do some wandering and the heat was on. Serious heavy petting ensued and we were effectively naked on the couch when I popped the question
"Will you marry me" I asked
"What?"
"No just kidding.....will you do something for me"? Laughter at my shit joke but she loved it.
"Will you role-play for me?" I asked
"What you mean?"
"Well.....(in a faux shy voice)....would you wear something for me and do a little role-playing for me?"
"Ummm....okay.....its nothing dangerous is it?"
I mumbled quietly to myself at this point yet shook my head from side to side with my eyes indicating a categorical no.
With this I retrieved the clothing from my room and handed it to her.
"It's a Burka" ...I stated bluntly...."I want you to put it on and be naked underneath".
For those of you who don't know, a Burka is a full body veil employed by many Muslim women worldwide. Its their way of staying slim yet fashionable.
She looked like I had just farted while receiving a blowjob.
"Really". In her deadpan no-shit way
"Yup".....replied I....."and you must obey my commands fully.....and crucially....do not speak at all......unless of course I ask you to".
I was pushing it but it needed the full treatment for success.
Now at this stage I was counting on two things. The first was that she actually liked me, which I was guessing was true. The second was she was by now so turned on that there was only one thing on her mind and that was cock. The closest cock in her vicinity was attached to me and it was far too late to find a replacement cock. I could almost see this mental calculation being carried out.
She then laughed and said
"Why the fuck not?" and then disappeared into the toilet to put it on and typically look in the mirror.
I called after her that it was a role-play and she would probably really enjoy herself once she got the hang of it...."Okay whatever" came the response on the way out.
Game on.
As she re-appeared I was standing by the doorway with my trousers back on. I saw the minutest of head-cocking sideways in her effort to convey questioning. She was adaptable I admitted to myself. Then I reached round the corner and handed her the vacuum cleaner.
"Vacuum the bloody floor you bloody lazy infidel like woman" said I.
She sniggered. My look however was pure malevolence and the sniggers died quickly.
I could almost hear her heart beat.
Slowly she started doing the vacuuming around the room while periodically looking at me on the couch reading the newspaper. Then I shouted that she should dust the shelf, do the bloody dishes and then cook me some fucking food. This was getting good. Then I said
"Wait!"....."Come here!" This was what she was waiting for I could tell. Action time.
"Kneel on the floor in front of me woman....HURRY UP!"
She then did what I demanded. I kneeled behind, with her assuming the classic doggie position, then lifted her Burka to just over her arse. Her arsehole did indeed have that oft penetrated look about it. Slightly open even before being spread for entry. I greased her with my spit and entered my cock roughly into her arse. She cried out which prompted me to yell
"SHUT UP WOMAN....How do you think you will ever get married if you are not a virgin?" ......and I pushed on.
She then started to move away as I guess the pain was getting too much. Then she talked back to me
"That bloody hurt....it wasn't lubricated eno......."
SMACK
That's when I started to beat her. Ahh the good old days I said to myself as I dragged and beat her variously around the house.
Well its been over three years now since the fall of Afghanistan and its tough being a Mullah on the run. I have to go to great lengths now to re-visit the glory days of the Taleban regime. My beard has gone and I just don't seem to get the same respect these days. Still though I can still pull the bitches and bend them to my will and that of Allah
Peace to all
(except those Infidel Yankees....and yeah that bloke Blair...he's a cunt too)
Mullah Mohammed Omar
User Reviews
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-10-22 09:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me hard.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-10-22 00:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go the crusaders this weekend! hahaha
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-21 23:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't bother reading it... i just dont care.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-21 23:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny as shit.
Submitted by ornerybastard (user info) at 2004-10-21 23:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fan-fucking-tastic
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-21 13:55:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
wow - that went from OK to hilarious
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-21 15:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
really good but...
what is the preoccupation with butt-sex on uber? vaginas are much tastier and there is no chance you'll pull out and find a corn-nugget on your shaft
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job! and you got your place cleaned
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus H.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
eh.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aren't you that one-eyed bastard?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This just got better and better.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had me in fits of giggles.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-10-21 14:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-10-21 13:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-10-21 13:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow - that went from OK to hilarious
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-21 13:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nasty! Dressing up girls with Burkas is what me and my buddies do every Tuesday.
Submitted by scrumdown (user info) at 2004-10-21 13:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making fun of a Hadj
-2 for miging a Hadj funny
+2 for "...far to late to find a replacement cock."
-2 for "Valley of the Damp Panties."
Man this was funny, but my utter scorn for Burkas and Hadjs leaves me with a 0.
Well, I did crack up. +2
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-10-21 13:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WHOA there matey...
That's some fucked up repugnant shit.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-21 13:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha...This was funny! Crazy bastard.