Dark Side Of The Moon (1571 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.51 on 108 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-10-21 16:01:01 EDT
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Entry 1
"Look up there, Joey." Joey shifted his position so he could look up at the fully illuminated orb in the sky that lit up the grassy field they sat on."When the moon is lit up like that it's called a full moon. For thousands of years humans have created vicious stories and fantasies about the full moon. Werewolves are mythical creatures that are humans for most of the month, but when the moon is full, they turn into horrible monsters that stalk the night. Did you know the word "lunatic" comes from an archaic belief that people went insane toward the end of lunar cycles? Humans have spent much of their entire existence developing an evil association with the moon that is fully lit. I always thought this had to do with their inability to understand the wonderful symbolism of the moon's phases."
Joey stared up at his father who, although he was sitting in the same position as Joey, towered over his nine year-old son as he continued to study the moon with misty eyes.
======================================================
Joey sat in his 11th grade trigonometry class, but his mind wasn't focused on the angles and lines drawn all over the blackboard, it was focused on the smooth curves of Amanda Jacobson. Joey had been infatuated with Amanda since he first met her during their freshman year. She had always been very nice to Joey, and she was also very beautiful.
When the bell rang to signal the end of class, Joey asked Amanda if he could have a word with her. Once the rest of the class left, Joey spoke up and said what he had finally built up the courage to ask.
"Amanda, do you want to go see a movie Friday night or something?" Joey could feel his heart racing as it sat snugly in his throat.
"Umm...sure!" said Amanda. "I'll meet you at the theater at 7."
The days leading up to Joey's date with Amanda were some of the most exciting of his life. When Friday finally came, he spent the afternoon proclaiming excitedly to his father that he finally got a date with Amanda Jacobson. That night, as Joey sat next to Amanda in the movie theater, he leaned over and gave her the first kiss of many to follow.
Months went by during which Joey grew closer and closer to Amanda. They talked on the phone every night and confided in each other their deepest secrets. One day, Joey was sitting at the kitchen table with his father eating dinner when he suddenly made a profound statement.
"Dad, I think I love Amanda." Joey's father just smiled and continued eating.
Three weeks later, Joey went out to eat with his friends in the center of town. When they entered their favorite restaurant, Joey spotted Amanda in the back sitting at a table. He was going to call out to her until he realized that she was there with someone else. He recognized the person as a senior who played on the varsity hockey team. Just as Joey began to wonder if they were just on a friendly date, the senior hockey player leaned across the table and kissed Amanda.
Joey's heart was broken. He walked out of the restaurant without a word to any of his friends. He ran all the way home and sat down at the kitchen table where his father was preparing dinner for himself. After some coaxing from his father, Joey told him what had happened.
"...and she just kissed him, Dad. I thought we loved each other."
"Joey, do you remember what I told you a long time ago?"
======================================================
Joey's father smiled knowingly. Joey was confused and his elbows started to hurt from leaning back on them to stare up at the sky.
"Joey, you could spend all of eternity believing the moon's got just the one side. We only ever see the one facing us, you see?" He put his hands into fists to represent the Earth and the moon and spaced them a foot apart in front of Joey's face. "The moon and the Earth are huge. The moon rotates around the earth like this, but what's amazing is that it spins around like a basketball on its own axis at exactly the speed in the same direction as it's rotating around the Earth. Because of that, the same side always faces the Earth and the other side is never seen by us."
"Is it dark back there?" asked Joey.
"No," said his father. "Of course not. When the side of the moon that faces us is completely dark, the far side is experiencing full daylight, but still we never see it from Earth.
"It takes a significant amount of understanding to realize there are two sides to all things, Joey. You may spend years looking at the moon and think you know all there is to know about it, but one day you might travel up there and realize, much to your dismay, that there is a whole other side that you may or may not like compared to the side you've spent all that time studying.
"There are always going to be things about the people in your life that you don't know about. One day you may find out one of these things and it may hurt you, but it takes a lot of maturity to accept a person's faults if they are minor, or to take a stand and say that what they have done is unacceptable."
Joey looked back up at the moon and let his father's words sink in.
Joey's father looked up and said, "Maturity, Joey. Maturity breeds forgiveness, understanding, and in the last case, abandonment, but only in the last case after all other things have failed. With the proper mindset, you can explore a person's far side and learn that although you are moving further away from what you knew, you are moving closer and closer to fully understanding the person you wish to know."
======================================================
"Amanda!" cried Joey from across the quadrangle. She rushed across the grassy area and hugged Joey.
Two years before, when Amanda betrayed Joey's trust, Joey issued her an ultimatum. He said that he would forgive her if she promised, with all her heart, that she would never betray his trust again. He made it very clear to her that he was going out on a limb in trusting her again, but he believed in giving people second chances.
"Joey," said Amanda, "you know you shouldn't make me run like that. I'll pull a muscle!"
The years had passed by without many problems, and they believed their relationship was strong. However, Joey had always had a difficult time fully forgiving Amanda for betraying his trust. He knew that she had done all she could to gain it back after her mistake, but he couldn't help feeling unsure whenever she went out to party with her friends without him. This feeling of unease only increased when they both left for college after their senior year, although it wasn't all that bad since they went to the same college.
"What are you doing tonight?" asked Joey.
"I'm going to a party," said Amanda. "There's going to be lots of free beer! Are you coming with me?"
"Sorry I can't, Amanda. You know I'd love to, but I have to study for this midterm."
"Aw, you're no fun," said Amanda with a smile. "I'll call you after I get back then. I have to get to class. I'll talk you later!" Amanda walked off and Joey watched her go for a few seconds before turning and heading toward his dormitory.
Joey knew that Amanda would never do anything to hurt him again, so he wondered what made him fully trust her. When he got back to his room, he sat on his bed and tried to understand what was going through his mind. After a few hours of no new developments, he decided to do what he always did when he needed a good answer: he called his father.
"Hey, Joey," said his father. "How's college? How's Amanda?"
Joey told his father everything that had been happening and then he explained to him his quandary. After Joey had finished, his father was quiet for a few moments before he spoke.
"Joey, do you remember what I told you a long time ago?"
======================================================
A gust of wind rustled the grass on the wide plain where they sat. Joey was still trying to understand what his father meant by everything he said. After a few moments, Joey's father spoke up again.
"Long ago, an ancient Indian tribe, that used to live on this land before they were forced out by our ancestors, had many symbolic superstitions about the moon. They didn't understand that it was another celestial body orbiting the Earth in our solar system, so they invented myths to understand its significance.
"They said that the moon was a god that was brightest when the people had the most faith in it. When the people began to lose faith, the moon began to wane. When the moon became new, the people needed to reaffirm their faith in the god. It was said that if all the people in the tribe did not fully trust that the god would return, he would not and the moon would disappear forever. When the moon began to light up again, they rejoiced, for their faith was shown to be true.
"It is important to understand the significance behind this story, Joey. While the moon was dark and hidden from view, the tribe made themselves trust the God that he would return because that is exactly what they had to do. Many times in your life, you will encounter many reasons not to trust someone you love, but in paying attention to those reasons, you will miss the one most important reason you should trust them: you love them. You may not want to trust someone, but in order for love to work, you need trust. If you do not have it, you need to force yourself to have it."
Joey knew that he trusted his father, whom he loved, so he knew that one would be easy. He lay back on the grass and stared at the moon some more. His father was right about the moon, it was more interesting when you thought about it with two sides. There was so much mystery in the far side that he might never get to see.
======================================================
Joey stood at the altar waiting for Amanda. They had successfully made it through high school, college, and a working life. One day when they were both 26, Joey proposed to Amanda and she gleefully accepted.
Amanda appeared at the end of the aisle and began her long walk. When she reached the altar, Joey could see that she was crying tears of joy. The priest began the ceremony and, as instructed, asked Joey and Amanda if they had anything to say to each other.
Joey said, "Amanda, I love you, and after everything we've been through, I have learned how to trust, forgive, and understand. However, the one thing that is most important through all of this is the fact that we have consistently loved each other. Commitment is the last great quest that any sensible man must see through until death." Joey looked over at his father who was sitting in the first row. He had a big smile on his face that proved how proud he was of his son.
"My father has spent my entire life giving me nothing but good advice. I remember one thing in particular he told me a long time ago."
======================================================
"Joey, although the moon can teach us many things, there is one that rises above all. For millions of years, the moon has been in the sky. Every 28 days, it goes through a cycle that has hardly been changed since it first showed up. You may not be able to see it all the time, but the moon is always there no matter what happens. You should always strive to be as committed to whomever you love as much as the moon is committed to being in the sky.
"Just like with love, whenever you feel in doubt about whether it's there or not, just remember that there is no dark side of the moon, there is just a side on which we currently cannot see the light."
- VS -
Entry 2
"Write what you know"A crescendo of keystrokes.
"Show, don't tell"
Tapa-tap...tap.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this assignment?"
My pinky probed the Backspace key.
Tap and hold...
Time for the sacred closing dance of the internet junkie: Start, Shut Down. Yes, I'm sure. Hit the power button on the monitor and let the fans die down. Big sigh, stretch left and right. Rise slowly, hands on knees.
I dumped out what was left of my now cold beverage. "I'm going to be late for being early."
Morning dew and fingers of sunshine met me in the driveway. "Hello, Mr. I-Roc Camaro"
"Howdy"
The air was crisp and wet; a gaseous Red Delicious of morning vigor. I let it comb my hair and brush my teeth on the way 'home'.
Barnes and Noble.
Kill the engine, wait at the doors. Tapping my feet and playing my apple drumset, I gave an empty parking lot my favorite solo- heavy on the crash cymbal.
"Kaaaaaahh-wisten" I tipped an imaginary hat.
"Q..." She let her voice linger and fade into breath as her key spun, sending its brothers into melody.
Her personality was a bit sterile, but then so was the bookstore; marble entry, wood floors, ridiculous lanterns, pine shelves, and Caribou Coffee.
"Nothing new, so don't ask."
I put my finger down and closed my jaw.
Assignment: "Dark Side of the Moon"
I scoffed. "What do you want, Pink Floyd?"
"Well, it's a start." whispered the faded orange muscle car from the lot.
"Whatever floats your boat."
It was thirty-six skips, ten and a half hops, and zero jumps (I hate jumps) to Kristen's AudioHelp register. After extending my daily harassments to my maiden fair, it was a mere twelve skips to the rack labeled "P".
clickclickclick! "Dark Side of the Moon..." I threw it into my armpit and hopped to the AudioCenter, carefully putting on the headphones with my free hand before inserting Dorothy's Companion Disc for Stoners.
"Puh-lay"
Running feet, heart beats, wailing guitars, drugged-up Brits.
How very cliché.
Even so, it was soothing. The tension in my neck and shoulders melted like Country Crock on warm toast. I flipped the cd case and dragged my fingers over the prism. The visuals were as enchanting as the audio. Pink Floyd and mild psychosis need only drugs to complete an unholy trifecta of chaos, but Kristen wasn't selling... something about "Fucks up your life", or "I won't touch you there for a dollar."
I wasn't going to ask her again. She was too busy laughing at me because I got the AudioCenter's countertop all wet.
I hate this fucking mouthguard.
But it's orange like I-Roc (who actually only rocks seldomly) over there in front of Toys R Us, so I made it my second best friend.
"Right, MG?"
"Damn straight"
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, no drugs...
As I bathed in the aural fellatio of Pink Floyd and cleaned the drool with my right sock, the devil began to tinker between my ears. His handiwork produced a large smile and the theme song of its previous owner: "You're a sly one, Mr. Grinch..." Of course there was more than a facial gesture and thoughts of Whoville. There was a stroke of one-socked genius: perhaps there is a drug-substitute that could double as a feat of strength, ridding me of my sobriety and making Kristen want to touch my genitals in a single stroke, so to speak.
Well, I can't back out now.
Note to self and MG (but not I-Roc, he can't throw):
In "Tamagachi Pet vs. Glass Display Case", there are no winners. Tamagachi Pet cracks its purple casing, glass gets webbed, and Q has to go home or Kristen will call the fucking cops.
I didn't even get to finish the album.
"Rocky, MG... 'Home' doesn't like us anymore. Retreat back to 'house'." I hopped the door (one hop) and threw on my seatbelt.
MG saluted and drooled on my Led Zeppelin shirt.
"Just take your key and stick it in my ig-ah-nition." Rocky has been listening to R. Kelly.
The three of us invited Wind to rock out to the remix of the afore-alluded-to "Ignition". He danced a lot and combed my hair again. Wind is my third best friend behind MG and I-Roc. He's cool with that, though.
I'm pretty popular.
=====
"Dark Side of the Moon" I scoffed for the billionth time. "You actually thought I was going to write about Pink Floyd, didn't you? " I turned and gave Rocky and chuckle from my cushy chair. "Fuck that, I'm doing something creative."
Tapa-tap-tap.
"Q, you are writing about Pink Floyd."
I snapped out of it. The silence lasted only long enough for me to turn around and throw myself against the window.
"NO!!"
I knew Rocky was right, he never blanks out. I, on the other hand, was putting the finishing touches on a six page essay that I didn't even remember starting. I hated losing time more than anything, even jumping. As dusk prepared to lay its fuzzy blanket on our surroundings, I was throwing my eyes in every direction, trying to recall even a single breath that I had taken that afternoon.
Nothing.
My memory didn't even take me up to my daily lunch with Bob Barker, Mac and Cheese, and my skid-marked BVD's; late morning was gone too. What had happened since Wind left? My mind searched itself in desperation.
The faucets opened up and my arm hair stood on end.
It appeared that the only things that I did know were my intentions for the assignment, and I waved them like a wounded soldier.
"That's bullshit! I don't believe you!" I paused momentarily, seeking some form of restraint. Another fruitless search caused the air around me to freckle and burn. "I did research! I was gonna write about how there IS no 'Dark Side of the Moon' only a FAR side!" The words left like tears, falling from my mouth before I had the breath to speak them.
"How, while the Earth always faces the same side of the moon, the sun hits ALL SIDES, hence NO DARK SIDE! The two bodies have different perspectives!"
MG leapt into my hand and screamed until he was thrown into the wall. The carpet cushioned his fall.
"Dark Side of the Moon?!" My hands involuntarily repaired Wind's stylings. "Buzzwords!!" The trembling in my voice now matched the pace of my twitching limbs. "'...money back guarantee', 'keeping it real', country music! You can't make me write about Pink Floyd. You can't! 'Cause... 'cause I fucking refuse!"
Tilt-A-Whirl.
"Some people think I'm crazy, but that's not true. It's just different perspectives. Just
Different.
Fucking.
Perspec..."
I hadn't slept in nearly a week and "Big Red" (my Folger's tin) lay without contents or cover in the dying lawn. I barely had the strength to stay conscious.
Sparkle and Fade.
My face slid down the window and I opened my aching fist. Rocky waited for me to hit my knees before he responded from across the driveway. His patience and tone helped to collect my shattered dignity.
"Take a gander."
I picked up MG and apologized profusely on the crawl to the computer. After taking my position in my chair, I scrolled up.
'"Time" is the best song on the album...'
'"Money" is another classic...'
Scroll-scroll-scroll
'Greatest band ever...'
'Smoking weed in my parent's basement...'
Oh my god, 'The Wizard of Oz'? Look how low I've sunk...
Well at least I didn't-
scroll-a-roll
Oh shit.
Astronauts colonizing a place that doesn't even exist?! NO!
THEY COULDN´T USE SOLAR POWER?!?!?!
Start. Shut Down. Yes, I'm sure. I put my palms on my cheeks and stared at the wall as the fans came to a halt.
"Sorry, Rocky. I haven't been that angry with you since you stopped moving and demanded 'gas'." I chuckled after stumbling upon such a table-turning revelation.
Now who's crazy?
"You know I spent $20 on you that day?" His silence made me uneasy- almost guilty. I let go of my advantage. "Anyway, thanks for waking me up. I gotta pack up the Presario."
"Why?" I was already under the desk pulling at wires.
"I give up. No more assignments, Rock. I've sunk to a new low." Within five minutes, my mom's computer was boxed up and placed in the corner.
"Where are you going now?"
"I need an apple...and some other stuff." I grabbed MG and put him in my pocket before heading to the fridge.
"Does Wind still have those Red Deliciouses?" My car is pretty good at speaking through walls.
"No, only in the morning." I sighed, wiping the tears from my eyes. " That's okay, I'm gonna eat a Granny Smith"
"Granny Smiths? Aren't those the green ones? Red Deliciouses taste better."
"I know, but I just wrote a six page essay about Pink Floyd and astronauts. I think it's obvious that "great taste" doesn't apply to me today."
I took one from the fridge and began peeling the color from the moisture.
"Relief is on the way." I thought. "Let's just make sure we have the essentials before checking out."
After placing a damp orb on the counter, I wiped a fresh batch from my eyes and grabbed the phone book. "Chan's Chinese is open until midnight" I lipped as my fingers punched digits into the phone. "...and they deliver".
Kung Pao will arrive in thirty to forty-five minutes.
"Why Granny Smiths? What are they good for?" asked my best friend as the fingers of sunshine around him grew short and withered.
I grabbed a two-liter of Dew and took a pull, making sure to swallow with my chin in the air in the hopes that gravity would help absorb the shame that continued to spill from my eyes.
Satisfied with my preparations, I gave a final pout of protest and bit into my browning fruit, my eyes still spinning with the blades of the fan overhead. I answered matter-of-factly, trying (and failing) to weave my speech around the large chunks of apple that occupied my mouth.
"Baking"
Entry 1:
Allyson
Ancius
Anjie
bigbabylons
Bigmike
Bizdorph
bob
Circe
comicbookguy
Coyote
DCWoody
Delaz
DietMoxie06
Durae
electrictoothsyndrome
engine13
ess-arr
Falconer
Gnome
GodChicken
godking
Heimdallsman
Huber_the_Nose
Ingsoc
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
JonnyX
Jungle_Jimanee
knucklesnelson
LadyPlural
loki
Loren1
maiorano84
MikeyP3184
NerfHerder
omnifica
ParlorTrick
Phallic_Cymbals
polyamorousaj
Prodigy
professorfuckface
ralphmacchio
razmataz73
redraven
runninginplace
Scott_James
ScoutCJustice
Seralena
sexy_biatch
shadow
Sideburns
SilvrWolf
sketch9
Stabkill
stevie_says
strider
Teephphah
thaumaturge
tidalfae
TigerLilly
tlozoot
VirtuosoDilettante
wazzawazzayo
WillZone
xenon
YELLOW-MAN
youarsoghey
zakalwe
zombieZero
53 eligible votes (70 total) *
Entry 2:
cexshun
Dirtbird
Disektor
drfeggphd
espo
Herpes
humor_me
hyprspacd
icarus9mm
iddqd
Ignore_the_Small_Print
Impassive-Digressive
jimbo
katydid
kaysee
matt27032
munkeypants
russizm
Sade
salmonofdoubt
shitfuck
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Spuds002
Thereisnogod
Timberwolves_At_New_York
tinactin
Tokerson
WiKi
William_Q_Percy
Worm
20 eligible votes (31 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-10-27 17:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-10-27 17:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-10-26 17:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2004-10-26 13:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by redraven (user info) at 2004-10-26 09:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by razmataz73 (user info) at 2004-10-26 09:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wasn't a fan. No dice either way. Very glad that at this time, my vote doesn't count. I wouldn't want to be the deciding factor in keeping one of these bad boys in the contest.
Best line, though: "The tension in my neck and shoulders melted like Country Crock on warm toast."
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-24 19:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-10-24 19:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-10-24 16:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-10-24 10:14:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-10-23 13:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I am an artEEst... and I am sens-e-tive about my shit. "
Was author 2 quoting Erykah Badu? Or am I just insane.
"... so y'all be nice about it."
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-10-23 13:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2004-10-23 13:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ugh. i've allready forgotten what number one was about, but number two sucked.
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2004-10-23 10:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-23 00:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-10-22 23:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could not make sense of 2. Maybe I'm just slow.
Submitted by ralphmacchio (user info) at 2004-10-22 22:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-10-22 21:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I couldnt follow Entry 2 with a bloodhound
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-10-22 21:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-22 17:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-10-22 16:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-10-22 15:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2004-10-22 15:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-10-22 14:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
floated my boat
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-10-22 14:01:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Timberwolves_At_New_York (user info) at 2004-10-22 13:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It made me feel high......er
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-10-22 13:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If everything's ready from the dark side of the moon, play the five tones."
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-10-22 13:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-10-22 12:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-10-22 12:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a good thing #1 was well done, because I automatically vote against any entry that mentions this contest. Also, #2 was just bad.
Submitted by Prodigy (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by prodigy <DT691.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-22 11:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The second story was just a little confusing
Submitted by omnifica (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh
Submitted by Dirtbird (user info) at 2004-10-22 08:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-10-22 07:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(sigh). I'm going with #1. The language in it almost killed me it was so heavy-handed and clumsy at times, but there WAS content there. And it looks like the two authors did very similar research (although Author #1 chose to use it and Author #2 chose only to mention it in passing).
I was disturbed by the presence of Uber names in #2. I don't know whether this was intentional or not, but given the repeated mention of the title as an "assignment" I'm guessing it wasn't an accident. I'm still confused as to whether the narrator in #2 was stoned, retarded or crazy, but I don't really care. None of the three options really appeal to me. In short, #2 seemed masterbatory to me. #1 actually tried to use the title given.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-10-22 07:21:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for #1, -2 for #2.
What the fuck was that?
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2004-10-22 06:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow that was a fun ride
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2004-10-22 06:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2004-10-22 06:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-10-22 05:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ancius (user info) at 2004-10-22 05:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2004-10-22 03:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by icarus9mm (user info) at 2004-10-22 02:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you get +2 for actually bringing Floyd into it.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-10-22 02:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually wasn't in the mood for any feely stuff but this still beat the other one...
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2004-10-22 00:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry 1 would have won if anything actually happened.... but Entry 2 wins because of it's refrences to Pink Floyd.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2004-10-21 22:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeebus. Both very good.
But a Dark Side of Ozzie or EST what? ever Q post toastee kicking around
wow that made way too much sense maybe pie in my eyes melting space face
Submitted by DietMoxie06 (user info) at 2004-10-21 21:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-21 21:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MikeyP3184 (user info) at 2004-10-21 20:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
~ Bows to the majesty that is the kick-assery of this story~
Good stuff. Good read, great subject. I prostrate myself before the glory that is this story.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-10-21 20:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I enjoyed entry one, it was well written and a pretty nice and meaningful story, if a little cliched.
Entry two was disjointed as hell, but the imagery and the whole-bunch-of-stuff-thrown-together-ness struck a chord with me that I just couldn't bear not to vote for.
Submitted by kaysee (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it. But "Whatever floats your boat" and "take a gander" stole the +2. Where are you from author? I've been laughed at for saying such things.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A vote for the positivity of number 1.
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by VirtuosoDilettante (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Entry 1
-------
no comment
Entry 2
-------
This is just confusing, and it's already been done...this round (Scream For Me Entry 2).
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sexy_biatch (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-10-21 19:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 felt too much like Sunday School without the religion.
Entry 2 it is.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Being that I suggested the title, it pains me that I don't understand a fucking THING that's going on in post 2, and shamefully, I am too tired to reread it. It was intriguing, but extremely esoteric, and overflowing with inside slang. If it were in the context of a larger piece where some of these things were clearer to me, they might make sense, but not as it stands now. Who knows, I might reread it in a couple days and realize I made a mistake...
Post1: A lot of what the dad said to him son seemed overstated, but the exploration of the trust factor involved in every human relationship, and how it was tied into the title made yours difficult to beat in my opinion. The ending was a step toward the cheese, but you stopped before you sank your galley.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm... I wonder who wrote entry 2..
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-10-21 18:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kaaaaaah-wisten! that was unbearably cute.
but, alas, post two just didn't make much sense. I did dig the talking I-Roc.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well fuck my ass and call me your sister.....
Submitted by Author2 at 2004-10-21 17:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wowza.
Author 1 did exactly what I had planned on doing, but I everything I tried came out hollow, so I tried something new and it's recieving... uh... "mixed" reviews. But you know what, I tried something new and I did my best; no excuses, no "Work sucks, I'm travelling, or I just broke up with my girlfriend". I'm proud of it and I got this far, which is better than all but 63 of you can say. If you didn't get it, shampoo my crotch, take some drugs, and try reading again. If you still don't get it, don't worry; it really wasn't suppossed to be taken to seriously.
I am an artEEst... and I am sens-e-tive about my shit.
On a more serious note, Author 1 pulled a rabbit out of his hat. If I wasn't a selfish bastad, my vote would go to him.
Even if I had used the analogy for a girl, it would be pretty tough to top what he did. I tip my metaphorical hat.
Bravo.
Submitted by Sade (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm surprised at the negative reaction 2 is getting. Of course it's more of a prose poem than a linear story, but it's quite good if you're in the right frame of mind for it.
Submitted by Sade (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If my vote counted, #2 would have it for:
"The tension in my neck and shoulders melted like Country Crock on warm toast."
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Delaz (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Author #1 at 2004-10-21 17:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really like what my opponent did with this title. Thanks for all the feedback and votes so far. For everyone who is saying anything bad about either entry, you've got to realize how difficult it is to write a story with a title that is not only specific, but also factually non-existent. I know how you're feeling, though, because when I first got the title, I was excited that I got such a good title. Then I realized how impossible it was and I created a story using the moon as a symbolic object. It was difficult. Very, very difficult.
Submitted by matt27032 (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't care for either of these. However, #1 had an overused plot and was no more then "boy meets girl, boy gets hurt, they make up, boy gets married". Nothing new at all. #2 had some interesting elements, and although I didn't enjoy it, I can appreciate it.
Submitted by godking (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sappy #1 was far better than that mess that was #2.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by katydid (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1.
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by zombieZero (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-10-21 17:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't really get Entry 2 at all.
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh.
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked both. Had it been late at night or if I was in a funnier mood then my vote probably would have went too entry two, but entry one really hit home, the issues of trust in a relationship is something that I'm dealing with right now.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my guess this is matchup is yourarsoghey and worm. thats my guess on who wrote these. i might be wrong.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Number 1 was great and touched the cockles of my heart.
Number 2 appealed to my stoner side.
My stoner side is much larger than my cockles.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I predict a blowout with #1 winning.
#1 was a little preachy at times, but it was still excellent. one of the better "serious" entries i've read thus far.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Worm (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not a tough choice
1
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man. Number one was just great. It managed to pull off a sappy story without sounding sappy.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"I think it's obvious that "great taste" doesn't apply to me today" Yeah, that sums it all up, #2.
I didn't wanna vote for #1, since it was written like an 'After-School Special' featuring Scott Baio and Kristy MacNichol...but it's better than the stoner crapfest of #2.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll be honest, I was leaning against #2 from the moment I read
"a gaseous Red Delicious of morning vigor"
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Thereisnogod (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pink Floyd + Pot = ssssssaaaaaaawwwwweeeeeeeeeetttttt
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the hell do I keep voting even though I never read these posts?
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-10-21 16:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment