Confession of a Child Molester (1279 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.16 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Eric D. Rice (View user info) at 2004-10-22 02:03:59 EDT
My name is Eric Rice and I have a confession to make. I love your children.
When I mean love, I don't mean in a cute "Look at the baby" kind of way.
I was at the mall the other day with a friend when I realized I am not the same as the rest of you. We saw a young family walking through the mall with what appeared to be a 4 and a 6 year old child. My friend made note of the cute girls they had as they were both wearing matching Powerpuff Girl T-Shirts and jeans.
"Oh, look at those two. They are adorable." He said pointing to the family.
I looked over and responded. "You are right. I like the butt on the one on the left. (The 4 year old)."
I am sick. I am a child molester.
My name is Eric D. Rice. I go to Old Dominion University and I am a sex offender waiting in the shadows. I stalk children waiting to strike. Please keep hold of the ones you love or someone like me will take them away from you forever.
I tried to get help, but nobody wants to help me. If I have not committed any crime, these people do not care. There is no such thing as prevention, only punishment when it comes to child molesting. It is all on me, and I cannot escape these urges.
I see it everyday on the Nickelodeon cable TV channel. Most children watch the shows and laugh. I wait for the commercials to pull out my penis and pleasure myself. I hope I did not offend you, I have problems.
Everytime you walk with your children a couple steps behind I notice while looking for the opportune moment to swipe them up in my arms with one hand held over their mouth as I dash for the exit and the van waiting outside.
How much do you understand that you don't want to see me with your child? I volunteer with the boy scouts and watch my young friends with eager anticipation of the time I will be alone in the woods, with your children in my care.
I am dead serious as I write this plea for help on the internet. My future employers should consider hiring someone else unless they want to expose their children to me.
Are you going away to visit the friends you have met online? Does your babysitter know who I am? Because it doesn't help that only you know. Everyone must know I am out there...waiting...watching...salivating over your children, whom I love so dearly.
I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish AKA: Eric D. Rice future criminal
User Reviews
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-06 14:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahaha
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-11-12 16:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-07 09:06:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do you call it slander when you just confessed? You are one confused man, Eric D. Rice.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-11-07 08:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Normally, i'm all for childish squabbling. But this leaves me somehow empty...
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-11-07 08:36:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHA. This post is kick ass.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
truth
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-22 09:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please stop wasting everybody's time with this crap.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-10-22 08:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is it me....... ???? or was this post just fucking stupid?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-10-22 08:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sick and twisted revenge. I love it!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-10-22 07:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-22 07:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-10-22 07:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the online equivalent of pushing over the girl in the sand pit when you're 6 years old. Just come out.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-22 07:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stabkill, you need to try harder. Your obsession is producing shitty posts.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-10-22 06:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This could've been better.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-22 03:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. It's certainly no 'Eric Rice's Obsession', but it is still pretty good. And good detective skills Random Joe.
Submitted by Sade (user info) at 2004-10-22 02:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is this, a jab at Fetish? Whatever. I don't care enough to rate it. But there was an interesting moot point nestled in there amid the nonsense:
There is no such thing as prevention, only punishment when it comes to child molesting.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-22 02:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.lions.odu.edu/~rljones/315/Labs/ARCHIVE_SP03_Lab1_Jan18.pdf
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-22 02:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Found 1 entry for "ERIC RICE"
Name Email Address
ERIC D RICE erice004.at.odu.edu
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-10-22 02:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamnit. Stop this stupid bullshit. It's gone beyond stupid, right past retarded, failed to even slow down at overdone, taken a left at pathetic, and landed right smack-dab in the middle of fucking worthless drivel.
Submitted by Quagmire (user info) at 2004-10-22 02:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For good measure:
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