My History of Theft (883 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.38 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Eric D. Rice (View user info) at 2004-10-22 09:50:48 EDT
I worked at Food Lion and got commended for kissing ass.
Little did management know that I, Eric Rice of Virginia, was ripping them off right under their nose.
After the store would close we would still be in there for hours stocking food items. At this time me and my friends would steal cigarettes, beer, groceries, what have you.
I put on this big front of the kiss ass employee but behind the scene it is a very different scenario. I am a thief.
That all changed one day when I was getting tore up in the dairy cooler with my co workers. We were smoking pot and drinking beers. It was a good time until we started climbing on top of the isles. I fell off and landed on my face breaking my jaw in 10 places.
Please don't make fun of me for my artificial jaw that replaced my shattered one? I've mentioned before in a previous post that I have a calcium deficiency.
Good things have come out with that fake jaw. At one moment in time I was considered for the part "Jaws Jr." on James Bond before the character was tossed out of the script. People notice me and never forget me.
I still steal when I get the chance. I ripped off Old Dominion University of several computers and stole laptops from students in the dorms and in the parking lot.
Wherever I work I will be sure to rip off people and my employer. We all know these people are too lazy to do the research to find out that I am a thief.
Eric D. Rice, thief
I hope any future employers don't check up on me on the internet. That would suck. In such case I refer to the above story as completely false even though it is 100% true.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-22 16:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-11-13 17:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:43:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yes. Also, I am quite honoured that you would say I would be able to go to Ubercon without a scratch. My biggest problem with Fetish wasn't his jaw. It's the fact that he's so full of himself. I mean, publicize his photo, that'll just make things worse, because he'll pick up "ideas", and post pictures of Quagmire just to "look good". I hate how every post he makes is about himself and his pathetic Ubersite stats.
For me, all my account is:
-password
-recent posts
Used to be MVA, but Bart's taken that away, oh well. Fetish is, unfortunately, close to the top. However, it'll topple around him when he realizes that you can't be narcissistic ALL the time, otherwise people will hate you to the point of violence. Also, his sick fucking love for that rape victim, lojope. I don't need to explain it...it's disturbing. He doesn't care about anything about her other than her looks and her giving him +2's. Like I always say, she should back away slowly before he gets her address.
---
Seems that you're gone...
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-22 20:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stabkill, you are the biggest pussy alive. Post under your real name.
Submitted by Poster_Boy_KoolMang (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yes. Also, I am quite honoured that you would say I would be able to go to Ubercon without a scratch. My biggest problem with Fetish wasn't his jaw. It's the fact that he's so full of himself. I mean, publicize his photo, that'll just make things worse, because he'll pick up "ideas", and post pictures of Quagmire just to "look good". I hate how every post he makes is about himself and his pathetic Ubersite stats.
For me, all my account is:
-password
-recent posts
Used to be MVA, but Bart's taken that away, oh well. Fetish is, unfortunately, close to the top. However, it'll topple around him when he realizes that you can't be narcissistic ALL the time, otherwise people will hate you to the point of violence. Also, his sick fucking love for that rape victim, lojope. I don't need to explain it...it's disturbing. He doesn't care about anything about her other than her looks and her giving him +2's. Like I always say, she should back away slowly before he gets her address.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans! Drinking with friends in the grocery store my arse, it's blatantly obvious that Fetish doesn't have any friends.
+2 for this:
It isn't "you rape what you stalk", Eric. It's "you reap what you sow".
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comments alone.
I'm curious to know who "Quagmire" is.
Submitted by Quagmire (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49295
Submitted by great_angst (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-10-22 11:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Loren, what about thieving from big arsehole companies?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Triple Optics- Not you, dipshit. I wanna push Fetish's teeth down his throat. get with the program, son.
I love the UK.
Anarchy for the UK.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-22 10:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
His enormous jaw must be made out of glass.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell, I even invited Eric Rice of Virginia, rapist, murderer, child molestor, and theif, to the ubercon on the Chesapeake for a friendly boxing match but he refused for some reason. I don't understand why...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-22 10:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These last two posts are blatant in their goal. I hope it accomplishes what you want.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BRAVO! It's about time you exposed yourself for the fraud you are Eric D. Rice of Virginia! We all knew you were worthless, but we didn't know you were a criminal too.
Eric D. Rice Virginia: Rapist, Child Molester, theif, and dipshit! Oh, hello google, I didn't see you there!
Submitted by Thereisnogod (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You started out in the middle of nowhere and ended up next to Buttfuck, Nowheresville. What is the point of this? What prompted you to write this crap?
And if this is your "history" of theft, dude, you deserve the -2's all the more.
Fuck off.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the comments.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know who is behind Quagmire but we should elect him commander of the Anti-IHAKF Legions. Yes, legions of men hate you mr. Rice. I know you've left me alone for a while, but I still think you should be severly punished by an angry mob.
It isn't "you rape what you stalk", Eric. It's "you reap what you sow".
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have nothing but the deepest level of contempt for thieves.
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You are all just prejudiced against people with a calcium deficiency!
Submitted by Quagmire (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What I say below is probably true, it isn't in cement. Eric could remove himself from the threat of having people putting him in the hospital.
How? He has to do it on his own.
Quite honestly, most the people who support him are misguided. They fail to see why Mr. Rice has several enemies and his enemies are not even "supporting friends" in their insulting him. They do it as individuals. Sure, they can +2 any anti-IHAKF post but they do so as supporting the effort against him not as allies. When people have a common enemy they will begin to ally though, and this is happening.
I don't think Eric is an unintelligent person. He actually has a couple posts that are shockingly decent. But he is one of those kind of people who brings out the worst in others. And you can keep on blaming the others when the source of the problem is obvious. Remove IHAKF from the situation and the problem disappears.
There are all personality types on here. Some will not accept his egocentric attitude and others will. For Eric, it is all about himself. This is why I believe in real life he would act the same way and wind up laying in the bushes along the strip beside the Mexicans who hand out prostitute flyers.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would hope Eric Rice would go to Vegas. I would intensify my physical training just to maximize the damage on his retarded face. And that's just me.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Quagmire, you should of put that in a post, it made for good reading!
oh, schlongy. Lets face it, you live in USA i live in the UK, not going to happen. Would love to, but not going to happen.
Submitted by Quagmire (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe Eric Rice cannot attend Ubercon Las Vegas 2005. Why? Because people hate him.
Oh there are many people on here people "hate", but not in the kind of way they hate this guy. Someone mentioned in the Ubercon Vegas thread that people who don't get along can come and there won't be a problem. This is probably true of everyone here from Koolmang and Cigar down to Schlongy, TuesdayDelay, etc. But there is one person this would not apply to: Eric Rice.
There are people who stick up and defend him. These people are well known and respected and deal with Rice without having any issues. How would I describe these people?
The ones that see the people coming in and out of the dilapidated house across the street and respect them as a member of the neighborhood instead of the crack selling drug dealers they are.
Eric Rice would most certainly have his face caved in by someone during the course of 2 days. He wouldn't even consider going because even he knows this is true.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sue me
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-22 10:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I would like to make arrangements to kick your ass. What's a good time and date for you?
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-10-22 09:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is fetish going to you're ubercon vegas thing?
because i hope he gets raped, beaten, arrested or molested.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-10-22 09:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STOP IT!
Submitted by titmouse (user info) at 2004-10-22 09:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i like theft, just out of interest do you look the same as you did before you broke your jaw or can you chew through metal objects now?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-10-22 09:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must admire your courage. Full disclosure is always the best policy.