Nameless (part 1) (529 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by icarus9mm<adinfinidum.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-10-22 22:47:25 EDT
[shit. all out]
Shake the shells free. Breath in: smoke. Gunmetal grey.
Attention shift: horizon.
[they're coming. jesus, they're coming]
Boots: black leather. Shake the mud free. Crimson beads fall away.
Attention shift: lower thigh.
[all i've got. it'll have to do]
Serrated edge: bloodstained. Not enough handle left to notch.
thinking: [Cold enough out here to hang meat. Hands are numb. Feet hurt. Keep moving, just keep moving.]
The sky hung heavy over Verdun: filled with grief, overflowing. The sun shone red - strained to make its way to the western horizon. The earth's muscles must've stung almost as bad as mine; I could hear it twist and groan beneath my feet. My feet. Jesus, my feet - covered in the blood and bile of a hundred dying men. I fear I will never see heaven, for surely this must be Hell.
Attention shift: Napalm breeze
[My god. They're here]
Grab the catchel. Snagged on barbed-wire. Pull. Snagged. Pull. Forget it.
Run.
Attention shift: ankle
[must be sprained. pain is almost unbearable]
Keep moving. Mustn't be caught. Not like this.
Rain fell across the fields - a shroud over the decay. Cold and dark, it adorned the sons of kings and of peasants in jewel-glitter stillness. Here there is no distinction: in death they are equally worthless. Where the rain did not reach - beneath the dead and spotty in the overlooking wood - a dim silence crept; the silence that's keeps children from sleep at night; the silence that drags fate along by its wrists. Fate, as it happens, was not pleased.
[focus. have to focus]
Head for cover. Forest: must be three hundred yards away. Metal and blood and fire overhead; shit. May as well be three miles.
Breath in. Focus.
Just run...
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-11-10 21:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
[Thoughs: pleasure composed.]
Impression: sketchy. Fleeting. Desperate.
should comment. express impressions left. inform that some parts broke a bit too much from the sketchy flow, but overall...
+2 given.
Submitted by heretic (user info) at 2004-10-24 12:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it. Edgy. Let's see more.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-23 14:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it. Interesting writing style. Please continue.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-23 03:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All this artsy stuff is over my head.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-10-22 22:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Burp. Didn't get it.