UberCon Vegas: Could This Happen? (621 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.43 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Quagmire (View user info) at 2004-10-23 00:16:34 EDT
Today we follow the story of Caulaincourt, ubersite user #5604 as his plane lands at McCarran International Airport........
"Hey man." A fellow speaks out to Caulaincourt. It is polyamorousaj, a fellow ubersite user.
"Thanks for picking me up." Caulaincourt said while adjusting the straps on a pack slung over his shoulder. It was at that moment he could smell AJ reeking of beer and whiskey.
Now, a wise person might wonder why he would get into a car with a drunk. But an even MORE wise person would know the right thing to say.
"Got any beer?" Caulaincourt asked, although he knew the answer.
"In the car. Let's go." AJ responded as they left.
The rental car was a Ford Crown Victoria.
"Why the large car?" Caulaincourt questioned as he put his bag into the trunk.
AJ pointed into the trunk and pointed his index finger at the Canadian. "I heard a rumor and thought this might come in handy."
The two drove down Tropicana over to the strip where they finally made their way into the hotel they'd be staying at. It was the Monte Carlo.
"I drank half a vat of beer from the brewery here." AJ proudly stated. His cell phone rang.
"Hello?" It was Loren on the other end telling the men where to meet up with the rest of the crowd. They were going to the Rio buffet for lunch.
"Give us 20 minutes." AJ hung up the phone and helped Caulaincourt check in. They then left to hit the Rio, which is located off the strip.
AJ and Caulaincourt were to meet Loren and the crew of UberCon friends inside the Rio casino where they had a Mardi Gras type show. Beads were being tossed around, singing and music playing loudly, as a float display full of interesting items rode along rails over the casino floor.
"Hello man." A giant head with televisions for eyes said as it peered at AJ. "You look happy."
"I'm fucking drunk, asshole. Why the fuck not?" AJ responded arrogantly. He flipped the bird so the whole audience around could see.
"I knew it was you there." Loren laughed. "Everyone is seated in the buffet area."
"Let's go. I'm starved." Caulaincourt butted in.
Upon arriving at the restaurant, there was the surprise of their life waiting for them seated beside Jared and Bart. Christmas had come early.
"Hi guys." A familiar face spoke to them with a shit-eating grin going from ear to ear. His jaw was huge, his blackened eyes were that of a criminal. His body was lanky and thin, he wore an old T-Shirt with a Linux penguin on it.
"What the fuck is this?" AJ asked Bart who just shrugged while he smiled back.
Caulaincourt shook his head while taking a seat. He was stunned and did not even introduce himself to the rest of the group.
Nicole, Kristen, Bart, Jared, Jeremy, Shark, Method, and Apollo were all there at the table beside Eric Rice. Eric was the infamous asshole of the website everyone loved to hate. His showing up in Las Vegas was a surprise to everyone.
"Lojo lojo lojo!" Eric hollered while Lojope returned from the buffet with a stack of mashed potatoes, a large piece of beef along with a generous helping of green beans.
"Obviously you aren't on a low-carb diet." Caulaincourt blurted. He thought it was under his breath, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Who the fuck are you?" A woman's voice shouted from behind. It was PeopleAreStrange (PAS).
"I am..... Outta here." Caulaincourt said while leaving the table with a middle finger flipped from both hands into her face.
"That's uncalled for." Bart scolded. "It doesn't need to be like this."
This is when AJ took the opportunity to bury his fist into Eric's face.
He swung his arm and connected with a shot that broke his hand and shattered Eric's massive jaw in one loud popping noise that could be heard from one side of the restaurant to the other.
"Oh shit!" Jared cried out and covered his plate when Eric slumped forward onto the table knocking his glass full of soda over.
"Fuck man." Method stood to his feet and wrapped up AJ's arms from delivering another blow to the semi-conscious Eric Rice.
"People! Stop!" Kristen blurted. "This is childish!"
"Bloody hell, not while I'm eating!" Apollo shook his head while continuing to scarf down a plate full of American food.
Shark was laying back passed out drink and had missed the whole incident.
Security now surrounded the table and was about to detain them and file charges again the unruly crew when a mysterious person appeared and approached the head security officer. He spoke a couple words, the security officer nodded and left. He returned later with a sheet of paper in his hand and he looked at Eric's face.
The security personnel were told to leave and the head of security helped AJ get his hand wrapped up. He patted him on the shoulder for helping them capture a child molester who was on the run and had attempted to nab a child outside of the Circus Circus Adventuredome earlier that day.
Everyone made up and everyone finished their meal in peace.
Nine months later, a child would be born that would become the world's next Hitler but that is a different story.
User Reviews
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-11-01 12:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so mean, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud a few times.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-10-23 00:42:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
alain would punch the fuck out of AJ because he could, then he would kick thge fuck out of fetish and win 20 million dollars at the roullette whieeel, hire johnny cochran, win all counts on the bias that it was started by an ethnic slur, then he will come back and move to senneville and join the country club withPMJ and all the other liberals. The end.
hahaha
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-23 19:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't see that one! haha! I'm in no way that good when I speak english.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-23 15:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is a good story except for one, major plot problem.
Fetish could never get enough money from his mommy to pay for a Vegas trip.
That dipshit hasn't left his computer keyboard in going on 5 years.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-10-23 14:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for using actual places in vegas that do kick ass. the brewpub inside the MOnte carlo = whoopass and the Rio buffet = a huge can of whoopass. nice call.
-BongZilla
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-10-23 08:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:44:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicole, Kristen, Bart, Jared, Jeremy, Shark, Method, and Apollo
AHA!
YOU SAID JEREMY. THIS IS SOSMEONE FROM UBERCON NH.
oops.
yeah, if youw didn't know jeremy you'd call him Rzor. Razor even.
sheneneneneneneneannaenannenaenanenanenanenaeighans.
A lot of people on this site call Razor Jeremy. You called him Jeremy before you met him. I, even after meeting him, still frequently call him Razor. Your logic is flawed babe.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-10-23 06:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Atleast make a good hate post next time. Why is that only the same handful rate these anyways?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-23 05:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicole, Kristen, Bart, Jared, Jeremy, Shark, Method, and Apollo
AHA!
YOU SAID JEREMY. THIS IS SOSMEONE FROM UBERCON NH.
oops.
yeah, if youw didn't know jeremy you'd call him Rzor. Razor even.
sheneneneneneneneannaenannenaenanenanenanenaeighans.
Submitted by DataForge22 (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Greatest Ubercon Fiction yet.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, I cried.
I doubt the jaw is really that big. I bet it's just stored cum from all the verbal cock sucking he's given to people in his life.
But Christ, this was funny.
I hope Alain decides to come, it would be fun as hell. I'd bail him out of jail. Maybe he can get diplomatic imunity or something.
I've had a few mnay tonight, but from the vegas post picture, yes, I do look halppy while drunk.
I forgeot what i was going to say nex.t I'm sure it was funny.
Ohy eah. I was going to do a post like this, but colser to march.
I shoulda stopped at the lasts entence. it was funier that way.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where was I?
I'm bringin' my wife, so you fuckers better behave....
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:02:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
sublime's drunk +2
-------------------------------------------------
No................................................................... peenier.
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-23 01:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sublime's drunk +2
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-10-23 00:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alain would punch the fuck out of AJ because he could, then he would kick thge fuck out of fetish and win 20 million dollars at the roullette whieeel, hire johnny cochran, win all counts on the bias that it was started by an ethnic slur, then he will come back and move to senneville and join the country club withPMJ and all the other liberals. The end.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-23 00:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where am I? I order you to work me into the story. I am a twenty foot tall Teutonic god with a knack for getting into trouble with the police, and an insatiable taste for the kind of hookers that you kill when you're done with them.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-23 00:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm fucking drunk, asshole. Why the fuck not?" AJ responded arrogantly. He flipped the bird so the whole audience around could see.
I have to +2 this because AJ said nearly the EXACT same thing to me in Ubercon NH.