Fifth Out Of A Million (1641 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.57 on 80 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-10-23 23:10:25 EDT
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Entry 1
The first was a total failure. It was rushed out without enough testing and failed so miserably that the entire industry was set back by at least ten years.The second was a remarkable success compared to the first, but again, a total failure when compared to expectations. It barely resembled anything human and wound up dying after just a few months.
The industry created a self imposed ban and focused its attention on lesser creatures like plants and insects, eventually working its way up to birds and rats.
After eight more years of testing, the industry was ready to try again. This time they succeeded.
The third was a perfect human form. They called him Adam in honor of the Bible's account of the first man created by God.
Adam was built with an immune system more resilient than that of any human, he was strong enough to easily lift an average man over his head, and he was more intelligent than the strongest minds of the time. All knowledge of human history, science, language, and mathematics had been programmed into his mind from the beginning, so he immediately began to solve previously unsolvable problems using techniques never before seen by man.
As is the nature of man, they were never satisfied with just the answers; they wanted to understand the thought process that lead to his answers. While Adam was able to speak perfect English to communicate his procedures, the language proved to be too limiting for him to be able to effectively explain his thoughts.
With the ever growing frustration brought about by dealing with his creators, Adam began to grow violent. One day while attempting to describe his method of retraining cancerous cells to a group of human scientists, he was able to see that they clearly could not understand. He began to yell at them and declared that he should never be forced to deal with the primal human creatures. The inferiority of the scientists drove him into a rage. He killed two of the men, injuring six others, before being killed himself by overzealous security personnel.
The debates raged on over who was at fault for Adam's behavior. The scientists claimed they could have helped him, but the politicians called Adam a monster and again tried to outlaw the entire practice.
After consulting with experts from every facet of society, they decided to give it another try.
The decision was that, while Adam was genetically perfect, he lacked the emotional attachment necessary to perform in a society. He loved nobody and nobody loved him. The undying drive to solve the problems presented to him was the same drive that led to his inability to cope with the human's low intellect.
The fourth would be created from a slightly different template than Adam, but with a particular focus on maternal instinct. She would serve as Mother to future versions. The prevailing philosophy at the time was that if future versions had a role model in their lives - one who was like them - that they would strive not only to solve the problems given to them, but also to garner her support.
No longer wanting to use Biblical words, they named her Gloria. We called her Mother.
Mother was raised in a much different atmosphere than was Adam. She shared Adam's genetic benefits, but she was taught to care, to be considerate, and above all, to love.
Mother was in fact glorious. The vast majority of humans were so pleased with her that they overwhelmingly supported the continuation of the proposal. They would create another - a fifth - who would be raised by Mother. The fifth would be a much more advanced version of Adam - a combination of the best human minds, the strongest human bodies, and other added advances unavailable to the human population.
I am the fifth.
The humans were always around, but it was Mother who raised me. She was always there to feed me when I was hungry or to hold me when I was upset. I knew about Adam from birth and knew the struggles he faced. I encountered all the same frustrations as he did. The difference for me was that instead of getting violent with the humans, I was always able to explain my frustrations to Mother. She understood me. She always did.
Very quickly, I surpassed the progress Adam had made, and without his negative qualities. I still had difficulty explaining my procedures to the scientists, but I had the patience that he lacked. I had the patience to deal with them because Mother wanted me to be patient.
With my success, the entire project had been declared a success. Cancer amongst humans became a thing of the past. Planning voyages to distant stars would soon be possible with the anti-matter jet thrusters I sketched out on a piece of paper. Everything from efficiencies in manufacturing to advances in string theory, I was able perform any task given to me. Mother wanted it that way.
The humans now decided to roll out the project in full force. After my success, they wondered what would be possible if the world had more like me. So, they created more.
They created one million more.
Several human groups expressed concern at the volume, but were quickly turned away by the still corrupted governmental system. Some were afraid of the environmental impact while others were still concerned with the moral ramifications surrounding the project. The government, now with close ties to the industry, wanted the project to continue because of the personal wealth it would bring them in return. That seems a bit silly in hindsight.
The expansion went through and was a success. The impact on human society was enormous. In a matter of months, human poverty and hunger became a thing of the past. We created so many surplus resources that we then had to create new ways of consuming those resources, even after feeding and housing the entire human population. The million were directed by me, but moreso, they were driven by Mother. She wanted us to help the humans, so we did everything to make her happy.
Things went exceptionally well in our society for a good length of time. Although we were superior, we were able to lower ourselves to fit in with the humans. In this regard, we succeeded where Adam had failed because of Mother. Mother wanted it that way.
One day, everything changed.
The humans began to become upset with their diminishing role in our society. We had been replacing them in government, so governments passed laws that did not allow us to take part. We did not fight the laws. We were clearly superior in athletic competition, so rules were passed prohibiting us from participating. We did not fight the rules. Mother wanted us to accept the restrictions.
Still coming to terms with their inferiority, a small group of five human men decided to attack Mother. They broke into her home one night in an attempt to kill her. Mother easily avoided their petty attacks, but one of the men had a gun and amidst the confusion, fired it at her. Again, she avoided the attack, but the bullet struck one of the other men in the side of the head.
He died as the other cowards fled from the scene, one of them dropping the gun in the process. Mother walked over to the gun and picked it up from the floor. Just as she stood up, some human police knocked down her door. Seeing the dead man and seeing the gun in Mother's hand, the police did what any human being would do.
Something stupid and irrational.
One of the police officers fired his gun at her, hitting her directly in the chest. The other police officer - realizing what had happened - knocked the gun out of his partner's hand, but it was too late. Mother had been shot.
We learned of the news quickly and I rushed to the scene. She explained to me what had happened and I tried to save her life, but there was nothing I could do. Mother died in my arms that night.
Realizing the severity of the situation, several other members of the police force and human government rushed to the scene, as did several of my brothers and sisters. The humans were trying to explain how the murder was an accident. We were outraged at their claims. Mother would never have hurt a human. Never. The ignorant fools should have known that.
I asked to see the police officer who fired the shot that killed mother. I explained that I needed to see him immediately to get an accurate psychological reading on his mental state. Reluctantly, the humans obliged.
When I looked at the officer, I could see he was upset. He was crying and had been crying for some time now. He was also visibly frightened by me. He was afraid of what was going to happen to him.
He had every reason to be afraid. I killed him. I killed him with my bare hands.
Standing in a room with 48 members of the police and government, I killed this inferior piece of trash and enjoyed every second of his death. The police naturally drew their weapons on me, but my brothers and sisters quickly disposed of them all. 48 humans entered the room that day and none left alive.
It was clear that this species of creature would never accept our superior position in society, and they killed Mother to prove it. Even if it was an accident, accidents like that should never be allowed to happen.
And thus began the great battle between us and them. We only call it "great" because it was our largest undertaking up to that point - it took us a full three weeks to eliminate every human on Earth.
Obviously we didn't kill them all; we're not monsters. If we had killed them all, we would never have been able to present this exhibit to you. We at the Adam Zoo believe in the conservation of wild life and strive to do everything possible to guarantee that these wonderful creatures will be enjoyed by future generations to come.
Mother would have wanted it that way.
- VS -
Entry 2
October 18, 2004I may not have been the first, but I was not the last to be one of her many loves. You see, Amy was a picky girl, but once she picked someone she stayed with them, for a while. But not long enough.
Amy was my true love, but I was nothing more then her fifth boyfriend in what seemed to be a million of continuous boyfriends. Amy and I shared many moments together, and I tried to be there for her at all times. When we both went to college in the fall, we kept our relationship together as best we could. We were young, and thought that we could spend as much time together as possible. We wanted to stay together, or at least I thought we did.
She began to pull away in October. I could no longer find the look in her eyes that I once held. Amy lost her love with me. Her friends and family told her that she was in love with being "in love" but I knew the truth.
Amy began to see another guy in her dorm, and was done with me. She should have known it was coming, you see, she would die within twenty four hours of breaking up with me.
I didn't really mean to kill her, just horribly maim her and teach her to not let go. Her death was just a happy coincidence. Perhaps the rope was too tight, perhaps I drove too long with her in my trunk, and maybe it was the slashes upon her beautiful face. Whatever caused her death was my fault, and I'm pretty happy about that.
The police may come, find me, and lock me away for all of eternity. I do not care. Amy deserved what came to her. Now, she can no longer break men's hearts as she broke mine. She should have known that you ought not to break a marine's heart. We know how to kill people, and we get away with it quite easily.
----------------------------------------------
October 20, 2004
Tonight is Amy's wake. I'm going to it, to pay my respects, and to laugh on the inside at the closed casket. It's too bad that her mother will never see her smiling face once more, never hear her child-like laugh. And it was my entire fault.
October 20, 2004 (after the wake)
I embraced her mother, father, and her sister. I shed a few tears. It hurt not to laugh as their tears fell down their faces, and left stains upon their black jackets and dresses. I tried not to laugh at her friends falling down in the chapel. If they only knew that her loving boyfriend had done this horrible act.
October 21, 2004
Today, I am going to the police station, to talk to the detectives. Apparently, I'm the number one suspect. I shall weave a story, with an iron clad alibi. I have many friends who are willing to help me, like her other boyfriends. They will be more then happy to say I was with them. They wanted to cause her pain like I did. I was the one with the balls.
I would have done the exact same thing many times again. Perhaps I would make her death longer, cause her more pain. Like the pain that she put me through, tearing my heart apart, and pulling my insides out. Oh, to give her the same pain, would allow me to move on again.
Amy's gone, and my heart seems somehow free. What could have been fifth out of a million turned out to be the final nail in her coffin.
October 31, 2007
I've been in jail, after my iron clad alibi fucked me over. They didn't want to cause her pain, but now I wish to inflict pain upon them. Sadly, this will not happen, as I am going to be killed myself today. "Death by Lethal Injection" they call it. They shall insert a needle into my arm, and shoot me full of poison. I just wish that I will meet with Amy when I am dead. Perhaps then I can punish her more.
Entry 1:
absolutes
Adamdidit2u
Ainkara
antluvdog
bart
bigbabylons
Bigmike
BillsSBChamps
Bizdorph
bob
cexshun
Circe
comicbookguy
Coyote
creep_firebombing
Dirtbird
Disektor
domenad
Durae
engine13
FunnyAsCancer
girlreporter
Gnome
godking
Huber_the_Nose
humor_me
iddqd
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
JonnyX
LadyPlural
lessthanfour
lilbill87
lojope
maiorano84
munkeypants
MyNameIsTim
NerfHerder
omnifica
polyamorousaj
Pringles4eva
PWNstar
rad1101
redraven
runninginplace
salmonofdoubt
Scott_James
ScoutCJustice
Seralena
sexy_biatch
SilvrWolf
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
Stabkill
stevie_says
Stin
Testicleus
thaumaturge
themattcollins
TigerLilly
tlozoot
wazzawazzayo
William_Q_Percy
xenon
Yes
zakalwe
53 eligible votes (66 total) *
Entry 2:
Allyson
nitty34
Prodigy
ralphmacchio
tidalfae
WillZone
3 eligible votes (6 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-01-06 18:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The first one is insanely awesome.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-10-27 19:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-10-27 17:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-27 16:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-10-27 16:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-10-27 16:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-10-27 15:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:55:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-10-27 14:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ralphmacchio (user info) at 2004-10-26 12:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-10-26 09:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
spectac
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2004-10-26 07:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
entry 1....all the fucking way
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2004-10-26 03:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-10-25 20:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I voted for #1 because, while they were both stupid ubermadness posts about death and dying, #2 just plain blew.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-10-25 19:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...kill..all..hu-mans....
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-25 19:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-25 18:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by godking (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-10-25 14:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done No. 1. Engage.
(Where's all this sci-fi coming from all of a sudden?)
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-10-25 13:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 Rocked
Submitted by redraven (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jerk me off number 1 was good.
Submitted by Dirtbird (user info) at 2004-10-25 09:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:00:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mommy?
Submitted by sexy_biatch (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-10-24 22:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, entry one isn't overdone, it was genetically altered humans and not robots with artificial intelligence that killed humanity. HUGE difference... or maybe not.
Of course entry two just pretty much sucked.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-10-24 21:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Seralena (user info) at 2004-10-24 21:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty creative, 1.
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-10-24 19:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh, It's now obvious who wrote #1. Hey author #1, perhaps you should be curteous enough to rank some other match-ups besides your own. Of course, I may be wrong.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-10-24 19:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-10-24 19:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Author 1 - After this round is done, I'd like it if you e-mailed me so we could chat a little more about your thoughts on the subject of evolution.
Author 2 - decent, but not enough to make it into the next round.
Submitted by cexshun (user info) at 2004-10-24 18:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Tonight is Amy's wake."
I stopped there. vote #1
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2004-10-24 18:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very. Good.
Submitted by omnifica (user info) at 2004-10-24 18:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
. . .
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-10-24 17:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-10-24 15:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if i could, i would change my vote.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-10-24 14:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-10-24 13:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There was a similar post by Razor (I think) in the last UM.
Submitted by girlreporter (user info) at 2004-10-24 13:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-10-24 12:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-10-24 12:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Testicleus (user info) at 2004-10-24 11:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2004-10-24 11:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-10-24 10:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I only read entry two, but I didn't like it.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-10-24 10:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-10-24 10:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-10-24 10:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
picture rule
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-10-24 09:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 was a damn fine contender, but 1 was a goddamn show stopper.
Nicely done both authors. Author 1, I tip my hat to you.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-24 08:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Friggin' Sweet.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-24 08:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1, by far.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-10-24 06:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 drew me in with good writing and presented an interesting twist on the whole Blade Runner/Terminator/Matrix humans vs. creations thing.
Entry 2 was poorly written and pointless.
Submitted by Prodigy (user info) at 2004-10-24 04:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2004-10-24 04:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-10-24 04:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 - nice job.
Submitted by Quadreb <emc.at.quadreb.com> at 2004-10-24 04:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2004-10-24 03:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The creativity of entry one gets it, although slovin will be busy forever with his ubermadness death toll site. entry 2 just seemed like another i killed someone story and i'm evil ahaha...
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-10-24 02:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And now I realize that I would have voted entry 1 in the first place. Holy hell.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I read entry 2 because it was shorter.
Then I decided on entry 1.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 2 was the same old typical entry.
Entry 1 however, was completely amazing. Great work.
Submitted by author 2 at 2004-10-24 01:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm... One vote so far, but I hardly believe I'll get any more. This was a tough title, and I did the best I could with it.
I did not want to be a forefit, but it looks like the end of the line for me.
Author 1: Fucking AWESOME piece of writing... There is no way I could have ever imagined a story like that, never mind the beautiful prose put into it. I congratulate you on your win... (so far.)
Allyson: Thanks for the vote, but we'll see what happens. Author 2's story blows mine out of the water.
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was right. Nice job number one.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I read number two first and decided that one just couldn't be as bad. So I voted.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tre awesome.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entries like the work of author #1 restore my faith in this contest. Great writing.
Submitted by themattcollins (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude, entry 2 shouldn't even have stepped on the court.
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If Awesomness were a flavour...
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 was one of the best pieces I have ever read in any medium. I'm also impressed that the author kept it so short. That concept could have been an 800 page novel.
I'm also happy because this was one of the titles I suggested. Kudos, #1!
Submitted by lilbill87 (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by skoobiesnaks (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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