Saddam and Osama Adopt Shaved Ape Baby! (886 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.29 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by harmlessness (View user info) at 2004-10-23 23:45:53 EDT
UNKNOWN, Unknown (CNN) -- Two middle-eastern terrorists adopted a hairless ape baby through The Center For Abandoned Shaved Ape Babies (CASAB) no longer than two weeks ago, Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton told reporters Saturday.
The ape, named "Edna," was sexually assaulted and strangled on a daily basis since infancy.
The two men, believed to be terror-ring leaders Osama Bin Ladin and Saddam Hussein, were seen carrying a large suitcase out of the CASAB building on October 12th, 2004. Informants at CASAB notified authorities as soon as they realized who they'd just given a child.
A team of Sociologists suspect that the two men are actually gay lovers, and decided to adopt the ape to take the place of a lovechild. They also believe that the two men plan to perform sexual acts on the innocent ape.
"Hopefully we'll apprehend these terrible, terrible men," said Kalib Al Ah Abjar, the ape's trainer, 29, who has cared for the ape from birth. "They should be hanged for this act. They really should."
Edna was 18 months old when she was adopted.
According to Abjar, Edna was a nymphomaniac who had a severe cocaine addiction.
When the adoption papers were released to the investigators, the American CIA rushed in the room and confiscated them; one of the men mumbled something about "weapons of mass destruction."
In September 2001, Bin Ladin was connected to the attacks on the World Trade Centers.
"We're still not sure we've got all of the information needed to make a case," investigators said. "There could be more apes to be adopted soon."
Abjar said that any more applications for adoption will be handed over as they come.
If the two men adopt any more apes, it is said that they could be hatching a "Secret ape-led world domination plan."
"They could be planning to form a communist party," Abjar said," Edna always did have a thing for Hitler."
A proposal on the UN ballot, Proposition 33, seeks to greatly increase the amount of money spent tracking and arresting middle-eastern ape rapists.
Edna, also known as CabaretGirl, is pictured below:
User Reviews
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-10-24 14:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Harmless? I think not.....
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-24 07:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-24 02:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
GIMMIE TORO
GIMMIE SOME MORE
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-10-24 02:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't be hatin' on weekly world news.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm glad you got her good side.
Submitted by BlinkSparky (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hated in in the Weekly World News, hate it here.
Submitted by Banned_Spiral (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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