The FBI can go fuck themselves (44941 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.74 on 95 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by comicbookguy (View user info) at 2004-10-24 00:19:25 EDT
This weekend I flew down to the US for my cousin's funeral. I first flew to Houston to give my condolences to some older family who were too ill to make the funeral, and then planned on flying to Fort Lauderdale where it was taking place. As I was in line waiting for security clearance for the Florida flight, one of the airport security guys told everyone they were going to pick people out at random for some background checks or some shit.
I was one of the people picked. The other was some black guy (not P. Diddy black. More like Desmond Tutu black).
Routine check they said. You were picked randomly. I was a little pissed because I didn't want to miss my flight and have to take another one, or worst case scenario, miss my cousin's funeral. The guy assured me that it was standard protocol and if everything was clear I would be out in half an hour. I sighed in relief because I knew I had nothing to hide.
They took to me some room. He asked me a bunch of bullshit fucking questions and I gave him straight answers. He then said that "he would be right back."
I waited for one hour.
Do you know who those airport security fucks called?
Do you wanna know who the fuck called?
THE FUCKING FEDERAL BUREAU OF FUCKING INVESTIGATION that's who.
I guess I should have just swelled up with pride. To think, they needed to call in the FBI to deal with some skinny Indian fuck who reads comic books and enjoys writing funny stories.
The fucking FBI people. I was questioned for EIGHT FUCKING HOURS by two massive FBI fucks who could have broken me in half with their thumbs and forefingers, all because I'm a 20 year old brown kid traveling on his lonesome with a visit to Saudi Arabia and Pakistan on his passport.
They must have asked me a million fucking times why I visited the Middle East. Why did you go to Saudi Arabia? Why did you go to Pakistan?
How about because I like to travel you ignorant motherfuckers. How about because I have some family who lives there and it's nice to pay them a visit once in a fucking while.
But of course they didn't believe that. That wasn't good enough.
Fine you fuck, the real reason I went there was to meet up with the 5 million Saudi dickwad princes to discuss how we were going to bleed your motherfucking pockets dry by raising oil prices even higher. Then, on the way home, I stopped off in Pakistan where me and President Musharaf talked about how we were going to nuke the fuck out of India over a game of cricket.
8 fucking hours in that interrogation room. No fucking phone call, no fucking lawyers. Asking me every fucking possible question about my life that I answered fifty fucking times.
Then they just let me go, with no apology, just like nothing fucking happened.
I'm still in fucking Houston.
I missed my cousin's funeral because I'm apparently a fucking terrorist who may or may not fit some profile in a bullshit database.
Forget the fact that I've lived in Canada my entire fucking life, a country who poses absolutely no threat to you whatsoever, and whose navy is less threatening than the fucking Love Boat. Forget the fact that I've been to the States a million fucking times before. Forget the fact that I've never even seen a fucking gun in my life, let alone know how to operate a bomb. With my luck I would probably blow my dick off and still manage to live.
And the worse part is, one of the FBI guys was cross eyed. The bitch was fucking cross-eyed with a giant mole on his forehead. I was scared shitless and trying not to laugh all at the same time.
So in short, fuck the FBI
And for that matter, fuck a whole bunch of other people too.
Fuck ALL those liberty infringing motherfuckers.
All you motherfuckers can suck my dick while I'm pissing.
In other news, I dropped mustard on my new gray slacks. It's been a crappy week.
User Reviews
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-04-19 07:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-19 06:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They're probably reading this post as we "speak".. <eyes darting around the room, all shifty-like>
**************************************************
Remember, just 'cause you're paranoid doesn't mean They aren't out to get you...
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-04-19 07:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sucks.
Did you have to pay to take a different flight? If so you might have a lawsuit.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-19 06:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They're probably reading this post as we "speak".. <eyes darting around the room, all shifty-like>
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-19 06:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/FBI
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-03-29 22:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to hear that bro. I'm a brown guy, and I get fucked over in "random" security checks all the time. I feel your pain. Pardon my language, but we're the new niggers, it's ok to hate on us. What a bunch of shit. It's gonna be a while...
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-02-11 15:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would move to Canada, but I am afraid the FBI will stop me and ass-rape me and my cats on the way there.
Fuck this government right in it's fucking ass hole.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-02-11 14:57:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always get checked at airport security as well. One guy accused me of having a false passport. "Uhm, excuse me, I don't even HAVE a passport. I'm just trying to fly from georgia to Idaho." They then left to "check that out" for 3 hours. They confiscated my gameboy and cd player, because the electronics could contain bombs. Then, when they saw I was reading a Carl Hiassen book, they came and confiscated that. I ended up playing with a gum wrapper. Until the confiscated it it for making to much noise.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-11 12:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-11-05 17:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what you get for being black.
Blackie.
Submitted by TheSean (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cowboy hats kick ass.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the FBI? you mean those fucks who show up when i get 5 wanted stars in GTA3? they're nothing an AK-47 can't handle.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not bashing my American friends when I say this, but it has to be said:
What the fuck happened to the land of the free? The beacon of democracy? Where is it?
You guys can change it all tomorrow. Believe me--80% of the world has their fingers crossed that you do.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-10-31 20:23:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry.... that really sucks.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-10-28 14:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bought pants in Houston once.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-10-27 13:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We're all going to hell in a hand basket.
How to piss off the FBI:
Explosives
Allah
Embassy
Bin Laden
Suicide
Bomb
Plan
Bush
Infidels
Now that I have your attention:
You suck and your president's a moron!
Submitted by Commie_bastard (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It might be because your muslim. Are you muslim? because thats a death sentance in america.
Submitted by Dr_Teeth (user info) at 2004-10-26 19:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"In other news, I dropped mustard on my new gray slacks. It's been a crappy week."
I hate it when that happens. Try getting chili stains out of a wool dinner jacket...
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-10-26 13:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. That sucks.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-26 13:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Schwarzes_Glas:
I blame blind rage.
If you really want to know, they asked me questions regarding why I flew to Houston first before I flew to Florida, why I was only staying for one day, why I had visits to Pakistan and Saudi Arabia on my passport, my family background, what my father does, what my uncles do, how long they have lived in Canada, if I have any ties to any terrorist organizations, whether I knew who was responsible for various bombings etc, etc, etc.
Cheese dick:
I prefer King of Six Packistan.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-26 09:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It happened.
The rage he had in Houston was real. I could tell even through the magic of AIM.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-10-26 09:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-25 21:22:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-10-25 17:27:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Now get the fuck out.
-------------------------
never! My children shall run wild and free, because as the old saying goes, let your children run wild and free.
-------------------------
Yeah, that's cool. I was just kidding anyway. =D!
The -2 was because you made this up. There's no way you'd go through something like this, post it, and not even mention the slightest detail at all - ie: any of the questions asked of you.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2004-10-26 08:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"In other news, I dropped mustard on my new gray slacks. It's been a crappy week."
Woah.
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2004-10-26 07:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good story.
I have no faith in airport security. Especially the metal detectors. I had back surgery where I have 2 huge rods on both sides of my spine and 8 screws drilled into my vertabrae, and I still don't set off metal detectors. At all. Not in the 4 times I've traveled since my surgery in January. I don't know.
Sucks about your cousins funeral, the FBI are true fucks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
dumbass, it depends which kind of metal.
yours are probably titanium, which doesnt have as large a signature on xrays
good story though
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-10-26 04:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Paki
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-10-26 00:37:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
squattail
Skinner, John
1225 Westmeade Dr
Bowling Green, KY 42101-1954
(270) 393-8931
quagmire/stabkill
White, T
4465 Oakdale Dr
Green Bay, WI 54313-8611
(920) 434-7102
koolmang
Rocha, E R
190 Dudley
Thornhill, ON L3T 2G1
(905) 762-8909
degreeless
Stevens, A
8313 Peach Blossom Ln
Evansville, IN 47715-6289
(812) 471-2710
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2004-10-25 22:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont know about you guys, but in Canada thats called "unlawful detention". They can't make you stay anywhere unless your under arrest, you are legally allowed to tell a cop to go fuck themselves and walk away.....but I forgot, you live in nazi germ......I mean america.....
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-10-25 22:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Time to get a new passport huh? Everyone be careful, comicbookguy is about to blow up the internet. He's anti FBI!! He's anti government! Anarchy is what he wants! Ok not really. Thats just what I think personally. Ahhhh!
Submitted by Starlet (user info) at 2004-10-25 21:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story.
I have no faith in airport security. Especially the metal detectors. I had back surgery where I have 2 huge rods on both sides of my spine and 8 screws drilled into my vertabrae, and I still don't set off metal detectors. At all. Not in the 4 times I've traveled since my surgery in January. I don't know.
Sucks about your cousins funeral, the FBI are true fucks.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-25 21:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah...Bart vs. Australia. Is there anything that episode can't do?
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-25 21:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-10-25 17:27:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Now get the fuck out.
-------------------------
never! My children shall run wild and free, because as the old saying goes, let your children run wild and free.
Submitted by Schwarzes_Glas (user info) at 2004-10-25 17:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now get the fuck out.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-10-25 17:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAAAAA! MUSTARD! As in the ingredients for MUSTARD GAS! YOU FUCKING TOWEL WRAPPING TERRORIST SCUM! DIEDIEDIEDIDEIEIDIEIWADI:O!UI!@$
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-10-25 16:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry to hear it
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-10-25 16:56:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know that you're on some list of theirs now, just for writing this, right?
I vaguely feel your pain- I have yet to be on an airplane post-9-11 and not get selected for 'random' searches. Yes, they usually let me go, but... Ah fuck it- tiny white American females shouldn't get searched. That was what you were trying to say, I'm sure.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/38141
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-10-25 15:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sucks. But nothing bad happened except for the delay.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-10-25 12:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
winning the hearts and minds of skinny Indian fucks
Submitted by JenBee (user info) at 2004-10-25 11:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-10-25 10:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that sucks-a.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-10-25 09:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-24 09:03:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Houston. How long are you there for? """
Tell me ALL about Houston please!
apollo88.at.gmail.com
CBG - sucks to be a darkie nowadays.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-10-25 08:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pshh... they just linked a name to a website account and assumed you were a terrorist. It happens to every non-white Ubersite user that tries to travel.
Submitted by Kold (user info) at 2004-10-25 06:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
QUOTE "Funny... People of all races have the vote in the US, but there's still more blacks in penitentiaries and other forms of prison (such as shit jobs and poor neighbourhoods). "
Well arent the black people really the majority in the states? Even tho they call themselves a minority.
So wouldent it make sense that theres more black people in jail cause there is more black people in the US than whities?
Lots of Yankees I know say that theres more blacks in jail then whites cause they do more crime. But if that were true wouldent our Canadian jails be the same? Well its not. Cause we have allot less black people here.
Most of the people in Jail are crimminals. Black white brown or blue
Submitted by Kold (user info) at 2004-10-25 05:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the States. They are spossed to have better civil liberties than us Canadians (like actualy having freedom of speech).
I woulda just told them to fuck off and go back home. And if they wanted to lock me up have the Canadian Government make a big stink to the Yanks. Our Navy might be less threatening than the Love Boat. But we do control the very life of the US west Coast and most of the east Via Water, Oil and electicity. One day our Government might grow a pair and actualy cut them off just to see them squirm.
FUCK THE FBI and thier patriot act
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-10-24 23:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO LAWSUITS WOO!
Submitted by FuckTheArmy at 2004-10-24 22:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FuckTheArmy at 2004-10-24 22:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow the system fucked up... I just put in a +2 that came out as a -1. Here's a double for ya!
Submitted by F at 2004-10-24 22:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FuckTheArmy at 2004-10-24 22:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Funny... People of all races have the vote in the US, but there's still more blacks in penitentiaries and other forms of prison (such as shit jobs and poor neighbourhoods).
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2004-10-24 20:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, that's fucked up.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-10-24 19:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woah dude, that's bullshit! You should sue them for one of their cousins, and then kill him, and not let them go to the funeral.
Its only fair.
Submitted by KieferSutherland (user info) at 2004-10-24 19:08:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"They should really interview and question ALL Arab men or none at all, fuck the quota bullshit."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Timothy McVeigh perpetrated one of the most horrific terrorist attacks on a U.s. government building in history. So should all white caucasian men be questioned when renting a Ryder truck?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-10-24 18:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the only thing you can do is pork the FBI guys wives so you have non threatening white children who can carry your bombs for you.
But seriously, whats it coming to, first they take your land, now this? I'd write a letter.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-24 18:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That 2nd A is pointless. Just like that errant o in sophOmore. Nobody cares about it. Go home, letters. Nobody likes you.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-24 17:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey buddy, first of all, it's NIAGARA falls.
And second of all, you forgot the beaver emporium with the everything you want to know about beavers tour and the all beaver buffet.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-24 15:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, Canada's landmarks better watch out.
All 1 of them.
Woo! Niagra Falls!
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-24 15:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey comic book guy, where are you in toronto?
im around st clair.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-24 14:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, I'm back in Toronto with no problem. I find it weird that there was no trouble because this time I actually did have shoe bombs.
GO LACK OF SECURITY IN CANADA WOO
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-10-24 14:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow man. For real?
I would have demanded an apology.
On the one hand, it's reassuring that security is that tight because if it weren't
I believe there are still people out there ready and aching to cause some real
damage.... HOWEVER, at what cost? Harassing, degrading, and demoralizing(???)
innocent people/citizens goes too far.
Please please don't take this the wrong way. Please. I will never have to go through that because
I am a white woman from Boston who's never neen anywhere so I can't imagine what it's
like to be treated like that. The whole thing is just awful. You're guilty before
being proved innocent. And that's against everything we beleive in.
Okay. Now, Because of what is happening in the world.. because of what has been
going on we do have to be careful. Not that this is how I feel but just looking at
both sides of the coin...From what you said above... well... if they were to feed
profiles of the passengers into a machine yours would make the machine beep with
flashing lights.
Is this the proverbial catch-22?
At least they could have frikkin apologized for treating you like that and
offer to pay for your ticket.
Fuck man. I have to mull over this dilema.
If this is shenanigans I am kicking your ass. This took me 10 minutes to think
about and forever to write. And it's a buzzkill.
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2004-10-24 14:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thank my lucky stars every day that i'm a white canadian woman and therefore will not draw suspicion
i also think the US is a tad paranoid. it's like that cartoon in Bowling for Columbine, with all the shaky Americans and their guns, afraid of everyone
i liked that movie
and i'm sorry about your slacks
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-24 13:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And you were worried about posting on Saturday night?
hahahahaha
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-10-24 13:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Catscradle at 2004-10-24 12:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, if you're in Htown you should swing by. We'll drink cheap soda and watch TBS' syndicated comedy lineup. Except for Sex and the City.
Submitted by xtremecowboy (user info) at 2004-10-24 12:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry this simple rant is just not worth a perfect 2.
Submitted by Prez (user info) at 2004-10-24 12:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-10-24 11:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate mustard stains.
Oh, and the FBI, too.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-24 11:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-10-24 11:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you want me to I can smite them with a plague of locusts filled with dynamite.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-10-24 10:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poetically, this is probably a metaphor for how people become terrorists.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-10-24 09:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Houston. How long are you there for?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-10-24 08:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if this is true, very interesting
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-10-24 07:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SIDEBURNS IS A PLAYBOY
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Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-24 07:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-10-24 07:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This may not be exactly accurate because I have the memory of a lobotomised goldfish, but there was talk of all British tourists having to have their photo and fingerprints taken on entering America. Way to piss off the 3.9 million Britons who keep the tourist dollar flowing in every year. Time for the states to change its name to Hysterica, perhaps.
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-10-24 07:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-10-24 06:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a similar story!! I'll post it soon.
I'm so glad you reminded me of it!
SO GLAD.
Man was I pissed.
I can't wait to tell my story.
BYE CBG!
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-10-24 05:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2004-10-24 04:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a dual citizen and have visited family in Brazil for months at a time, and Brazil is really fucking with the U.S., so let's hope Brazilians get put on the double-check list so I can completely fuck with them. Intimidation dsen't really work with me, so I think I'd be spending a few nights in a federal facility while they secretly search my house and record me talking about the hidden nuclear bomb.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-10-24 03:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heeheehee
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-24 03:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Israelis wouldn't let a fucking Arab within a mile of any of their planes. I always knew those Jews had good common sense.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-10-24 03:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I do so love the new airport security measures in America. Yeah, the pregnant woman and that scrawny Indian kid are a big fucking threat to your national security, dickwads!
Wonder why Israel doesn't seem to have these kinds of problems?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-10-24 02:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JungleJane (user info) at 2004-10-24 02:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What pompous jackasses!
Police and the FBI are shit.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by genocidic001 (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be all over complaining about that fucking airport if I were you. If the FBI is called on you for no apparent reason other than because you look like "them" then its racial discrimination on the airports part. They're being stereotypical.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-24 01:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Glad to hear they are doing their job.
Submitted by hooligan at 2004-10-24 01:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
water down the f-bombs a little bit, and you can send this to Michael Moore. He'd love to make a follow up to "Fahrenheit 911" and include this tirade to get his point across.
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2004-10-24 01:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't been to the states in five years.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Harsh.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ashley Simpson's lip-synch tape was just off on SNL so she left the stage.
Hah!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In a situation like that , I would've pissed myself and started confessing to things that I didn't even do...just things I feel guilty about happening.
And I fucking hate cowboy hats. The goddamn rodeo is coming, so that means more cowboy hats than usual in goddamn Edmonton. Fucking morons.
Submitted by BlinkSparky (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH thats funny as fuck
i woulda gona along with it and made them think i was a terrorist ....get a free meal outta them if they question u long enough :P
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"enjoys writing funny stories."
So modest. Anyway, any terrorist knows that if you want to hijack a plane, travel in a group of 10 or 12. US Airport security policy is STILL, IS STILL that if you are an arab or a curry and you go through security they can question you. BUT if you have 10 arabs with you, they aren't allowed to question or search all of you, because they are only allowed to question a QUOTA OF EACH RACE, ANYTHING MORE IS SEEN AS DISCRIMINATION. Say the US is made up of 5% arabs (which I have no idea, it isn't a stastic, just an example), 100% of terrorist attacks involving planes in the past 5 years in the US were caused by Middle Eastern men. They should really interview and question ALL Arab men or none at all, fuck the quota bullshit.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
correction: they don't wear cowboys. I meant cowboy hats. But I wouldn't mind wearing a cowboy.
FUCKING FBI
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's fucking insane
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this a true story. I'm in Houston right now and it sucks ass.
They wear cowboys people! Cowboy hats!
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"All you motherfuckers can suck my dick while I'm pissing."
Aw, looks like somebody's trying to get on Fetish's next list.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha.....
Awesome.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, so sad.
But, extremely well written, as always!
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:24:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the po-lice, fuck fuck fuck the po-lice.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We're whores.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49483
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-10-24 00:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooooooo!